What age to leave child alone when you're at work

[purpleme12]

What age did you start leaving your child alone while you were at work?
So for example for 7 hours?

Secondary school age? 11?

It very much depends on the child. How old is yours and are they very sensible?

Thanks

Can I ask what he did all day when you weren't there?
And if he liked it? Or not?

Yes when they are ready for me. I remember booking a course in the Feb when my son was in year 7, around November (age 12 just). He didn’t want to be home alone after school for 3 hours so I arranged places for him to go. By the time the course came round, he was totally fine to let himself in and be home alone. It all changes quite quickly if you go at their pace so they are happy, in my experience

No way would I leave an 11 year old… my own DD14 wouldn’t like being left alone for that time but even without her issues I’d say no younger than 13

Christmas of year 7, just turned 12. Only for a couple of days when we had different term end dates. We sent her to PILs when it was a whole week at the end of the year and it took her a long time to forgive us! Very sensible child, though.

You talk about letting himself in
Do you mean he was fine to let himself in after school from age 12 or fine to be left alone for all those hours from age 12?
Because I'm talking about all those hours when you're working

I would only leave my just turned 12 yo home alone for 3 hours max. I think my eldest was left alone for one day around the same age as he didn't want to do a day to the beach but for me 14 would be about right to leave all day on a regular basis. But all kids are different of course

Thanks that is interesting

And helpful

It was 13 for me.

12 up, as long as theyre happy with it and have a way of.communicating with a parent if needed

Presumably you mean when you are out of the house, not wfh ?

It depends on lots of things.

How often it is - as an occasional thing, it is a bit of a novelty. Every day they aren't at school is quite different.
How long you are actually out of the house - that can vary, depending on the length of your working day, and also your commute
The personality of the child - one of mine I'd have been a LOT more confident in at 10 / 11 than the other child
The support you have in your community - if they know they can call on Grandad / Aunty Pauline / your mate Jane all of whom live within a 2 minute walk, it is a different scenario from if they are completely alone
Same with if you have neighbours who would be around in a genuine emergency
Same with knowing their friends and friends families.

I started to leave mine at secondary age. So one was 12, one not much over 11 and the other 11.5. All perfectly happy.

This made me think back to the 60’s. I was 11 and looked after my little brother for 6 hours a day during the summer holidays.

From year 7, so just turned 11. At home after school every day for a few hours. Left all day when needed. No option, no childcare for that age and no local family. Both my kids enjoy being home alone. The youngest was anxious before hand so we built up to it slowly. But it wasn’t an option for them not to do it. We have to work. By year 7 a child without additional needs should be capable of being home alone all day occasionally. I loved being home alone at that age and it’s good for kids to have some time alone.

I think for many families it happens naturally: from yr7, if they're sensible, DCs are home alone after school for a few hours most afternoons and by the time summer comes, they're ready to stay home for whole days.

DSis and I did this. I was 11-12 and she was 7-8. We lived with our great uncle but he was in and out, doing his own thing. We mostly entertained ourselves by reading/playing musical instruments/watching telly. My mother would sometimes leave us a list of little jobs to do and we'd do them in the last 30mins before she came home.

And can I ask as well what did they do all day? To amuse themselves?

I wouldn't leave an 11 year old for 7 hours- at least 13 . I would build up to it gradually from 11.

It very much depends on the child. If they are a level headed, sensible and confident in an emergency then from age 12. If they are uncomfortable, anxious or impulsive, then not until they are ready and confident to do so.

Worth a look at NSPCC guidance to give you a feel for this : https://www.nspcc.org.uk/advice-for-families/home-alone/

When I was left at 13, I'd do art projects, knit and watch true movies. Loved it!

Some posters just are answering saying it depends on the child and giving general information
I am obviously aware that it depends on the child.
But this thread was asking about people's actual experiences with their children and what they did/do and what age they thought it was appropriate from their children
Just because sometimes it really helps to hear other people's experiences and what other people do

Thank you for people sharing about their children it's helpful to read

Watch tv, gaming, talk to friends, bake. Whatever they wanted to do. They are good at amusing themselves when needed.

Interesting

Mine is not!

To be honest there was probably far too much gaming involved in keeping themselves entertained. They didn’t have to do too many whole days on their own so it didn’t matter too much

Because you have given very little information about your own circumstances, it sounds a bit like a journalist fishing for an article type post. You can’t ask others to share their stories without giving at least some information about your own.