What age to leave child alone when you're at work

[purpleme12]

What age did you start leaving your child alone while you were at work?
So for example for 7 hours?

How many days do you think you left them in summer holidays?

Are/were you a single parent as well?

My DS was 11 1/2 when I left him and he was happy to be left. He was really mature and calm. The following year I left him with DD 11. I wouldn't have left her without her DB. They got on well together.

I’m not a single parent, but we both work full time not from home. It must be more difficult as a single parent. When my oldest was 11 it was no more than once a week he was left for whole days. Was more when the youngest was 11 but they were together which helped.

Well, is DOES depend on the child.

I have 3 dc, my response would be different for all of them.

Depends on child - I wouldn't for so long until 13+

I was left alone from age 11 and I really didn’t thrive. Nothing went wrong as such but summers were long and lonely. I was isolated and bored. Obviously we didn’t have phones and gaming the way we do now but I look back on those years as really sad.

Oh didn't think it was a prerequisite to be honest

I'm just thinking about the near future that's all and thought could get people's experiences

I'm a regular poster if you want to look me up though and check I'm not a journalist

Yes it would depend on the child.

I was just interested in people's experiences

Not everyone will want to say their own experiences and that's ok

From 11

My DD loves being on her own and sometimes asks me (and her dad when she's at his) to go out!

Neither of us have other people in the house and we're quiet. She just likes it

All of mine by start of secondary. Needs must, they aged out of childcare and frankly holiday clubs ran from 9 to 3 and were heavily sports based.
They were happy to sleep in, watch tv, read, go out with friends and leave a mess
everywhere! Much the same as me, but I was left at a far younger age ( gen x).
2 out of 3 were sensible. The other lived to tell the tale.

I was alone a lot from 12 years / end of year 8 (whole days in summers).

I would

• sleep super late
• make myself breakfast
• clear up breakfast stuff (ish)
• watch some TV
• Probably call friends on the phone
• Maybe make a bit of lunch.
• Often take myself off round to friends' houses (depends on where you live, we were in a city with lots of mates walking distance)
• Or if pre-agreed and had pocket money left behind might do stuff like go with a friend to the movies or bowling (had a bus pass)
• Sometimes meet friends in the park, go for walks or ice cream (again with budget provided by parents)
• Read books

Looking back the signs my parents had that I was ready were I was comfortable preparing and making my own food (mostly cereal / sandwiches but I wouldn't starve or burn the house down) and I could manage my own calendar and come in and out of the house safely and independently. I think if there had been a thought I'd have spent all day just watching TV they would have booked me into clubs.

Thanks that's really helpful actually

End of year 8 is a way off I guess still

Both mine have keys. 13 and 10. I can leave both alone for a couple of hours. The youngest I wouldn’t leave alone as long as I would the oldest. I only work 5 hours a day and the kids can come up to where I work if needed.

they play out a lot. Or Xbox, tv. Games etc

I ask do make sure I make them breakfast before I leave and leave snacks and easy things to make for dinner, wraps, sandwiches, noodles etc

I would say secondary school for a long day Haven't needed to as yet as I am a teacher and tend to be off. I don't think I would take a parental day now that my eldest is 13 if she was unwell (mild, like a cold). I think she would be fine at home. I have left her for 2 hours or so with my 11 year old during the day to go shopping locally.

It not only depends on the child but the wider context. My youngest would be left from around 11, with my 13 yr old child and near neighbouring children of a similar age. They grown up together, were outside savvy, and my husband was 5 minutes away in the farm. They were left with pot noodles and the like and they just got on with it, understanding no common sense being applied, no freedom.

For us it was 13 because that’s the age she was when she finished her first year secondary school… she’s been on school holidays for nearly a month already. I work from home two days a week so for three days a week she is on her own. She usually meet up with friends or goes to the cinema, arrange his activities like crazy golf, swimming etc. she loves it.

I will be leaving my y7 dd for 2 full days a week from next week, when she breaks up from school. She’s pretty sensible and has done lots of shorter stints before so I’m not too worried.

She is really looking forward to it but I suspect she is going to spend a lot of time watching tv as her friends don’t break up for another few weeks. She will probably do some drawing and reading too, and practise her martial arts drills.

I liked a pp’s experience of their mum leaving them a to-do list - I will be doing this!!

Each of my children was different in terms of short times but I would say they were past 14 with regards to a whole day. They wouldn't have been able to cope with it day after day.

Year 7.
The majority of childcare camps in school holidays are for primary school children, because there isn’t the demand for them older than that. The majority stay at home in holidays when parents are working from secondary school onwards.

I left my soon to be 11 year old last week for a few hours. It was much sooner than I had planned but I had already had a day off with his brother not long ago so I couldn't take another one.

He was just a bit under the weather, not being sick or anything and my workplace is a 5 minute walk away so I asked him to come see me for lunch halfway through the day and I rang him every hour. It was only from 9.30-2.30 with the half an hour so so lunch but he was lonely.

I won't do it again until October when he will have another couple of days at home because he will be too old for childcare.

If I worked further away then I would have had to take the day off or ask my husband and we had a plan in place just incase we needed one of us to be at home but all was well. He's been left before for half an hour so it was a big jump but on his own he's pretty sensible, knows what to do in a fire and was told not to cook or answer the door.

I wouldn't leave the kids together until my youngest is a similar age (they are 2 years apart) and in the same circumstances. I'll stay in my job until I get him to year 8 and his brother will be year 11 so then I'll feel fully comfortable with a longer commute.

My two are 13 and 11 and ive left them for days when Ive not been able to work from home. They game, watch tv, play in the garden and sometimes my eldest goes out with his friends (local area).
This will be the first year I will leave them at home for most of the summer. It will be a mixture of wfh, a couple of sports camps and some leave. I will also be leaving some chores each day and setting expectations around behaviour and making sure the house is tidy.I dont particularly like leaving them for all day but I need to work, luckily fairly local so i can get back quickly if needs be. Their dad (we are together) works long hours in London and is self employed so if he doesnt work, he doesnt get paid and his wages cover almost everything.
I was home alone from about 10 and I really loved being at home by myself

I’d say 14

Mine was 11 (but a November birthday so almost 12) and at secondary school. I’m a sole parent (father never had any contact) so it was just us, and DD was incredibly sensible. She was allowed a phone from that age too, and would text me updates during the day.

I worked full time and was about half an hour away - she was an avid reader, had a cat she adored, would actually enjoy tidying up during the day. My mother lived close by so I knew she had support in an emergency. I do think it depends on the child though.

My 12yo would be ok all day, but would prefer only half a day. I wouldn’t leave them for multiple successive days alone all day, but the occasional day would be fine