Should I take my son a cooler T-shirt to college?

[Ketley67]

DS 17 has phoned from college asking if I can take him a different t shirt as he’s too hot (it’s made out of thick fabric). I said no.

Im off work today but I can’t be bothered to drive across town in this heat with no air con when I’ll be going to pick him up in 2 hours. It would take me all of about 10mins.

Am I a meany or should he just suck it up?

Wow. I hope you gave a little chuckle as you said no, before you hung up. I'm sure he'll live!

Seems pretty nasty. It's very hot and he's clearly uncomfortable.

I would, he’s your son, it’s 10 minutes, he’ll appreciate it and it’s nice to be nice.

Good for you OP. The hot weather hasn’t exactly come out of the blue so he needs to take responsibility for himself. He will think about what he is wearing next time but he won’t bother if you pander to him.

Why do you have no aircon?

I would have taken it plus deodorant because no-one wants to be in a class with "armpits"

To be honest if it would only take you 10 minutes I would do it, unless there's a backstory if him doing this sort of thing

Tough, life’s like that! He should have planned more sensibly, he’s not a kid

But he's clearly also not very good at forward planning. Maybe this will be a good lesson for him to check the forecast before deciding what to wear.

The tank is leaking and I can’t afford the £500 to get it fixed. Not sure that’s relevant to anything but there you go!

I wouldn't, he will be absolutely fine. If he was wearing a thick hoody or something ridiculous i maybe would, but I would point out he is practically an adult. If you were at work in this situation, what would you be able to do?

He needs to learn to think things through. Imagine if it was a DH who called his wife, he would be slated.

Please teach him to me a good husband that gets his shit together.

Awww meanie

It is relevant as you would have to make yourself very uncomfortable to deliver his shirt to him in this weather with no air con in your car

My sons don't ask for much and tbh I can't imagine getting this request, but if I did, I'd take it and the excuse to sit in the AC for a bit

Some nasty comments on here, sometimes it's nice to help.

No major back story but I’m trying to take a step back so that he can build some resilience/independence.

I do a lot for him and I really want him to grow up to be self sufficient. Think ahead-it’s going to be hot, wear a thin top/take a spare one. I feel like he’s old enough to figure these things out but it goes against my natural instincts and I’m now sitting here feeling guilty

No. He is 17. Time to grow up and take responsibility.

Yes, having no air con is relevant which is why i mentioned it in my OP. The reason why I haven’t got air con isn’t.

I wouldn’t do this for a child who didn’t have learning difficulties. Not in a month of Sundays.

I probably would be I'm famously a softie

This is what I’m naturally inclined to do but I’m not sure he’ll end up being a very self sufficient adult if I don’t pull back from helping.

Exactly this.

Good grief ! In a year or so he will be an ' adult '

he's coming home in 2 hours !

he will learn what to wear for the next few days...

if he were 7 that would be different

Have you never made a mistake with what you've worn? It's absolute misery. Not everything needs to be some big life lesson.

I've dropped off things to DH at work in the past. If you can't rely on your family for a it of help sometimes it's a pretty sad life.

If it was school, and a younger child, surely no one would think you should be bringing a change of outfit during the day (and the school would probably tell you not to do that too)...
He had access to the weather forecast, and will be an adult next year, he needs this sort of prompt to help him plan ahead and be independent. Honestly OP, you're doing him a favour in the longer term, by not running around after him in this way.