How do I repay generosity?

[CocSoc]

An acquaintance of mine. We’re not friends, but have something in common so we’ve chatted and met occasionally. She’s lovely, and we’re both friendly.

She is unable to attend an event, which in total has cost her at least £300. So she’s asked around if anyone would like to attend in her place.

I have said yes, and how much would she like. She’s refusing to accept any money, which is lovely! I have accepted the offer, but really don’t want to leave it without at least giving her a token something as a thank you.

It is very generous of her. But in her mind, she’d rather it was used than no one go, and be more of a waste. Which makes sense.

What could I get her that says thank you, but doesn’t offend?… I did think of putting £100 in an envelope. But not sure this would upset her, as she’s said she doesn’t want any money for it. Plus it’s not much in comparison to how much the event has cost…. But at the same time, I would probably not have acknowledged it if she was selling them full price.

Is a really naice expensive bottle of gin and chocs enough?

I'd say a nice gift would be lovely. Especially as youve tried to pay her back and she's refused. Is there a gift that related to the event you can get? But otherwise if she likes gin and chocs then that's also good, just make sure they are naice!

Would she accept you taking her out for a meal?

Agree I wouldn’t give cash as she has refused that already. I would give a gift of something she likes. Nice chocolates, alcohol, flowers depending what she likes.

I’d get her a nice bouquet of flowers. It’s not something most people buy for themselves so usually welcomed as a nice treat

I think that might be a bit awkward. We don’t really know eachother. Thanks though x

I think money mind offend given she's said no, although would a voucher be the same as money? A marks and Spencers or Waitrose voucher? A plant and a bottle? How kind of her, very generous, maybe she's comfortably off and genuinely doesn't mind about the cost, sounds likely.

I think this is likely. Plus she’s lovely. I don’t want to take her for granted.

I’ll stick with nice drink/chocs and flowers. Just wanted to check on here that it wouldn’t offend. Thanks all

I gave a young mum an annual pass to the zoo once. She was delighted as her chiro was down that way and she could take her kids in for 10 minutes if she wanted, just to see their favourites.

An alternative is to give a decent amount to a food bank, perhaps, and let her know you have done so.

OP you're overthinking this. She has said she doesn't want money and a voucher is in effect money. I'd say a card and chocs or wine if appropriate after the event would suffice. At least you will have acknowledged her generosity.

I am totally over thinking it. But she’s has been so generous!

A minor caveat.... Don't give her alcohol or chocolates unless you know she eats/drinks them. I don't drink alcohol simply because of my meds - and I've always hated gin anyway, and I'm diabetic so can't eat chocolates and it would make me really sad to be given some because I LOVE chocolate!

I think that's the right order, plus look out for ways to return the favour in future.

However I have been given 3 bottles of gin so far and I don't drink gin. If you re not sure what she drinks, my preference would be more basic wine/prosecco and maybe upgrade the chocolates to some mail order or local bakery brownies. But maybe that's just me. It's a token at the end of the day.

I take your point, but even if she doesn’t consume them herself they’re still a nice gesture and likely won’t go to waste.
DP and I don’t drink wine and people sometimes bring a bottle as a present if we have people round. It’s always appreciated and we just save it for another get-together or take it to another friend’s event.

I’d probably give her flowers and a £50 gift card. Most people say that they don’t want any money for it, but she has spent quite a bit on it so I would give her something back if I could afford it.

If someone says they don’t want the money for something then don’t give them money, it’s chucking the generosity back in their face.

Is the event the sort of thing that has merchandise? As in, a concert, where you could get her something related to the group, or mini break where you could get some local produce? I’d do that.
If not, some decent flowers and a gift voucher for a shop that suits all tastes (John Lewis?).

is the event charity related? donate £150 to charity, and buy her a bouquet etc.

Thank you. I did wonder this as I’m not a fan of Gin. I’ll ask

Yes it definitely needs to he something she can enjoy. If you are really struggling for ideas then a gift voucher is safe

This was my concern. I’m glad I’m double checking… although it can often be more confusing

I’m edging towards an M&S voucher. We don’t have a john lewis here. But could buy one online. Hmm?🤔

Almost everyone loves flowers.

Yes can be bought online. Although then that starts feeling really impersonal.
If there's anything you can find related to the event that would be ideal. Ideally it needs to be something that feels thoughtful to reciprocate the ticket

Bottle of champagne?

Champagne (if she drinks) and flowers
M&S gift card + flowers

what is the event - maybe something connected to it

I could but something connected to it. But it might make her feel sad for not being able to go… it’s due to illness