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Am I overthinking how to tell people about this?

44 replies

Favouritefruits · 14/06/2026 18:59

My DS (8) has done ballet since he was 3. He only started because his older brother was doing it and he didn't want to miss out (very typical toddler logic!), but he's stuck with it and is actually very good now.
At his primary school (working-class northern town), the Royal Ballet ran a six-week workshop for all the Year 3 children. The kids absolutely loved it. At the end, a very small number of children can be invited to audition for the Junior Associates programme. Apparently it's quite unusual for anyone from the school to be selected.
Completely out of the blue, I received an email saying my son had been chosen to audition and that the audition fee would be waived because they felt he was a good fit. I honestly took him along for the experience and didn't expect anything to come of it.
I didn't tell anyone he was auditioning. Quite a few of the girls at his ballet school had done the workshop too and were disappointed not to be selected, and I didn't want to upset anyone or look as though I was bragging.
Well, I've now had another email saying he's been offered a place! I'm absolutely shocked and incredibly proud of him.
My problem is that I now need to tell people why he's leaving his current Saturday ballet class, as the Junior Associates classes are on the same day. In particular, I'll need to tell the parents of his two best friends at ballet, both of whom have daughters at the same school.
I'm worried it will look as though I deliberately kept it secret or that I'm showing off now. My intention was genuinely just to protect the feelings of the children who weren't selected.
Am I massively overthinking this? How would you tell people without it sounding boastful

OP posts:
Littletreefrog · 14/06/2026 19:02

Just tell them. If they ask why you didn't tell them he was auditioning just say you were keeping it low key for DS's sake in case he wasn't selected. If they are friends they will be happy for you.

Shelleyblueeyes · 14/06/2026 19:03

Favouritefruits · 14/06/2026 18:59

My DS (8) has done ballet since he was 3. He only started because his older brother was doing it and he didn't want to miss out (very typical toddler logic!), but he's stuck with it and is actually very good now.
At his primary school (working-class northern town), the Royal Ballet ran a six-week workshop for all the Year 3 children. The kids absolutely loved it. At the end, a very small number of children can be invited to audition for the Junior Associates programme. Apparently it's quite unusual for anyone from the school to be selected.
Completely out of the blue, I received an email saying my son had been chosen to audition and that the audition fee would be waived because they felt he was a good fit. I honestly took him along for the experience and didn't expect anything to come of it.
I didn't tell anyone he was auditioning. Quite a few of the girls at his ballet school had done the workshop too and were disappointed not to be selected, and I didn't want to upset anyone or look as though I was bragging.
Well, I've now had another email saying he's been offered a place! I'm absolutely shocked and incredibly proud of him.
My problem is that I now need to tell people why he's leaving his current Saturday ballet class, as the Junior Associates classes are on the same day. In particular, I'll need to tell the parents of his two best friends at ballet, both of whom have daughters at the same school.
I'm worried it will look as though I deliberately kept it secret or that I'm showing off now. My intention was genuinely just to protect the feelings of the children who weren't selected.
Am I massively overthinking this? How would you tell people without it sounding boastful

You are overthinking just tell them. If they friends they will be over the moon for him. It's not bragging it's just telling them and if they ask why didn't you say earlier you can say it all happened quite quickly etc. and you were still getting your head round it all.

Well done him. What an achievement.

X

TeenToTwenties · 14/06/2026 19:03

Tell the parents 'DS isn't coming back next term because he was lucky enough to be offered a place at the Junior Associates Programme' then if you want add 'I expect it is more unusual for a boy to do ballet so that probably helped'.

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ThaneOfGlamis · 14/06/2026 19:03

You are massively over thinking this yes. Just say he is leaving to go to the new lessons. Almost every little girl that does ballet lessons won't make it.

Dolphinsarejerks · 14/06/2026 19:04

You didn’t keep it a secret to protect other children’s feelings so drop that act, nobody will buy it.

Tell them, be genuinely proud of your son and support his goals.

Favouritefruits · 14/06/2026 19:06

I do know I’m overthinking it but it’s really hard and it’s making me sick with worry. I have tried to say something but it just sounds boastful. The parents really won’t be happy for him as they are quite unkind when other children achieve things.

OP posts:
MeganM3 · 14/06/2026 19:06

You’re overthinking it. Ballet / dance association are crying out for boys so it’s no surprise he was chosen, regardless of ability tbh. You don’t need to over explain or feel awkward. You wouldn’t mind if their child had been chosen and yours hadn’t, would you - everyone will be happy for you and probably not think much about it after an initial ‘oh that’s nice’

Favouritefruits · 14/06/2026 19:07

Dolphinsarejerks · 14/06/2026 19:04

You didn’t keep it a secret to protect other children’s feelings so drop that act, nobody will buy it.

Tell them, be genuinely proud of your son and support his goals.

Course I did! Why else would I keep it a secret?

OP posts:
Sesquioxides · 14/06/2026 19:07

Just tell them and don't worry about what they say. If it makes you feel better, you could downplay it by pointing out that statistically, boys are more likely to progress in ballet than girls just by sheer numbers involved. And congratulations - my son does ballet too and seems to have really found his "thing" with it!

Sesquioxides · 14/06/2026 19:09

MeganM3 · 14/06/2026 19:06

You’re overthinking it. Ballet / dance association are crying out for boys so it’s no surprise he was chosen, regardless of ability tbh. You don’t need to over explain or feel awkward. You wouldn’t mind if their child had been chosen and yours hadn’t, would you - everyone will be happy for you and probably not think much about it after an initial ‘oh that’s nice’

That's a little bit harsh, you obviously need some ability in ballet to progress in it, just like any sport. 🤦‍♀️ Could you imagine the response if people said exactly this about women's football (and I bet they do)?

JohnnyFedora · 14/06/2026 19:10

Why bother telling them anything then? If they're jealous bitter cows....

Just leave 🤷‍♀️

Tiptopflipflop · 14/06/2026 19:11

If theybreally are the sort of people not to he pleased for an 8 year old doing well at something then they're not the sort of people that you or he want to be friends with anyway. Just tell them in a low key way that he is going to be moving to the new class.

SatsumaDog · 14/06/2026 19:12

Well done to your son op, that’s fantastic! Don’t downplay his achievement by saying it’s easier for boys. He has been offered a place because he has what they’re looking for. They don’t select boys just for the sake of it.

JohnnyFedora · 14/06/2026 19:12

MeganM3 · 14/06/2026 19:06

You’re overthinking it. Ballet / dance association are crying out for boys so it’s no surprise he was chosen, regardless of ability tbh. You don’t need to over explain or feel awkward. You wouldn’t mind if their child had been chosen and yours hadn’t, would you - everyone will be happy for you and probably not think much about it after an initial ‘oh that’s nice’

Bit fucking rude , suggesting they'd take any boy.

Favouritefruits · 14/06/2026 19:13

Thank you everyone, I know I need to just spit it out! I’m just such a wet lettuce if you haven’t already gathered 🤣

OP posts:
SatsumaDog · 14/06/2026 19:14

JohnnyFedora · 14/06/2026 19:12

Bit fucking rude , suggesting they'd take any boy.

Edited

Quite. It’s also not true. Yes, there are fewer boys to choose from, but they don’t just take anyone. They know exactly what they’re looking for at that age and OP’s son has it.

SpottyPyjama · 14/06/2026 19:16

You are overthinking it.

The fact that you’re thinking about it shows you aren’t likely to tell them in a braggy way.

If they are ungenerous and ungracious, they will believe that it’s easier for boys anyway.

Arlanymor · 14/06/2026 19:17

Most people keep auditions a secret because no one wants to crash and burn. It's totally normal to only share success and not 'potentiality'. Well done to your son. Just tell them, it's nice news and you've not been secretive, you've just don what we all do when we go for a job interview - we only tell our nearest and dearest - we don't take out an advertisement on ITV during the World Cup match intervals!

Gizlotsmum · 14/06/2026 19:17

Your son will probably tell their daughters so it may not have come as a surprise to them. But actually you don’t need to tell them anything especially if they won’t be supportive. Your son has done well so he should rightly be proud

Davros · 14/06/2026 19:17

Wow, that’s brilliant OP. I can understand you keeping quiet, as much in case it didn’t go any further as anything else. You’ll have to tell them, don’t be too apologetic 💐

Littletreefrog · 14/06/2026 19:19

Favouritefruits · 14/06/2026 19:06

I do know I’m overthinking it but it’s really hard and it’s making me sick with worry. I have tried to say something but it just sounds boastful. The parents really won’t be happy for him as they are quite unkind when other children achieve things.

Well fuck them then. Either tell them and move on with your life away from the poisonous cows or don't tell them and just disappear with your son on yo bugger and better things. Why do you care what they think when they aren't nice people.

JohnnyFedora · 14/06/2026 19:19

Davros · 14/06/2026 19:17

Wow, that’s brilliant OP. I can understand you keeping quiet, as much in case it didn’t go any further as anything else. You’ll have to tell them, don’t be too apologetic 💐

She doesn't have to tell them anything.

Just stop going and if they ask, just say "oh we moved toa different place".

Only person who needs to know they're leaving is the teacher.

Favouritefruits · 14/06/2026 19:25

Littletreefrog · 14/06/2026 19:19

Well fuck them then. Either tell them and move on with your life away from the poisonous cows or don't tell them and just disappear with your son on yo bugger and better things. Why do you care what they think when they aren't nice people.

I care because I’m a neurotic people pleaser. I do know inside I shouldn’t care but I do, I care way to much!

thank you everyone for your kind words.

OP posts:
AgentPidge · 14/06/2026 19:28

They probably know that he's good already. Just tell them - you have every right to feel proud. You didn't tell them until you were certain he'd got the place, but you're telling them now, aren't you? I would tell someone asap so you can stop worrying. Tell the most gossipy one because she'll love it the most and will spread the word for you.

Littletreefrog · 14/06/2026 19:29

Littletreefrog · 14/06/2026 19:19

Well fuck them then. Either tell them and move on with your life away from the poisonous cows or don't tell them and just disappear with your son on yo bugger and better things. Why do you care what they think when they aren't nice people.

Oh God I really should check my spelling before posting. But glad you got the idea. Honestly OP I understand as I have had a child in a not dissimilar situation with their sport and now they are 16 I would do anything to go back and not care so much what the other parents thought and more about protecting them from the toxic environment caused by such parents.

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