Is MN becoming more misogynistic or are there more trolls about?

[Menopausio]

Ive been here a fair while, change my username regularly ect. Is it just me or has this site changed from a bit of a safe haven for women to just being the same as RL? Have attirudes to women swung back to the middle ages or are there more troll posts?

It started becoming like this in the pandemic when men had nothing else to do but hang around MN and seem to have stayed ever since.
Just look at the sex board. 95% men.

I don't understand what you mean it's becoming just like real life? Do you expect people to secretly have different opinions online?

There was (is?) a subreddit where men would discuss other subreddits and forums and discuss what to post where. Eg they would post not only misogynistic things but would also post pretending to be women and then screenshot the replies and post them on forums, subreddits and social media to 'prove' women were terrible.

I found it from twitter where a group of men were discussing Mumsnet and plotting to post a thread where a woman wanted a baby, her boyfriend didn't so she was going to stop taking the pill and pretend it was an accidental pregnancy. Other men were rallied to post pretending to be women encouraging her to do this and/or saying they had done it, and then use it as 'evidence' that men should be legally allowed to opt out of child support.

I’ve found that you can be called a man or Mra
or misogynistic if you don’t fully go with the “you must 100% say female in the arguments right all the time”. I got called man because I didn’t agree that a female poster was in the right that because she wanted to split up with her partner, move 200 miles to be with her new person, and not work and have the ex pay her 50% of household costs in new relationships plus a whack of CM, the old “but happy mum happy kids” came out and the “well if he REALLY cared he’d move heaven and earth to see them” came out!

what’s your examples @Menopausio ?

I just took a look at the Sex board, and eww, what an eyeopener 🤢 Clicked on one of the top five threads there, and it seemed unmistakably like a man fishing for wank fodder about a fetish he has. Read the first few pages, and felt bad for some of the women who appeared to be responding in good faith (as well as a good smattering of men who shared the fetish).

I certainly can't imagine any sensible woman wanting to ask advice on there - I can only imagine the men would fall upon her like a pack of ravenous dogs.

I’ve found that you can be called a man or Mra or misogynistic if you don’t fully go with the “you must 100% say female in the arguments right all the time”.

Exactly this.

What is it you find misogynistic OP?

There were a few twatty threads by men yesterday. I'd say MN was being trolled by some other place.

I do agree some women some will support other women blindly no matter what... but I do also think a lot more of the "if this was a man you'd get verrrry different responses" crowd who just dont grasp the nuance between the sexes.

The reality in a man and woman with 2 kids set up... the load carried by a house wife vs a house husband isnt the same the working women 99% of the time. Sje is often doing a lot more than her male counterpart amd is often a primary parent despite him being a SAHH.
Ypu see threads on here where jouse husbands are dead weights the working mum is carrying (paying for his lifestyle and cleaners and nannies, or ficking arpund woth his "buisness" which loses money every month ) yet you see some posters spouting "he gave up his career" etc.. when OP looks to a.leave and b. Preserve some assets

Breadwinner mothers imo can actually vs very trapped almost as much as their SAHM cpunterparts in someway - your career DOES suffer after birth vs a mans even if you stay FT... and their husbands can easily take primary custody in a divorce.

I find it refreshing when people don't just take sides, regardless of the situation, because a thread is by a woman.

People either want advice or a cheer team. It's good to have balance.

So, without any examples, I can't see how we can conclude that MN has become 'more' misogynistic.

I tend to stay away from the sex board for that very reason.

No I expect a womans safe space to be safe for women.

That certainly explains some threads. How depressing.

Didint want to make a TAAT but the one this morning was a SAHM who won some money and her H was giving her the silent treatment for wanting to spend SOME (35%)of her winnings on herself . She also did some support work in his business. The amount of posts piling in on her was ridiculous.

Over the years yes, I've seen things become more misogynistic.

I'm certain that Mumsnet has a proportion of women-hating men and also a proportion of seriously unpleasant individuals of (I guess) both genders who love kicking a vulnerable poster or twisting a situation into something unrecognisable so they can have a go at the OP.

Mumsnet is also being targetted by Russian propagandists and the far right wing, but that's another issue.

I'd say more misogynistic and more misanthropist, both. Actually, now I think of it, more misandrist too in some aspects. Which also creates a hating and hateful atmosphere.

I suspect Mumsnet viewing figures are dropping and I'm not surprised. Many posters who start a thread who are clearly genuine get attacked. Tough but compassionate love is one thing, a hostile environment no matter what is a different you say is another.

It's a public forum. It's not a safe place.

I read that thread and had a different take on it. She doesn’t work so the money she used to gamble was joint money and she wanted to spend it on a cosmetic procedure. Most people were saying if the money comes out of the joint account then it’s joint money when she wins, I didn’t see anything that implied men were replying either.

I've noticed a tendancy for some posters to try to shoe horn that they are not a feminist into any subject. E.g. 'I don't mind taking my turn to cut the lawn and I'm not even a feminist' or 'I'd never change into my PJs the minute I get home, but then I have already said that I'm not a feminist'. I've had my knuckles rapped for pointing out the irrelevance more than once.

Whether the posters are genuine or grinding out some kind of anti feminist message I don't know.

There are certainly a lot of threads where the OP is obviously a man, pretending to be a woman. Starts normally enough e.g. 'Can anyone advise me where I can find a white Tshirt. I'm a curvy 48(F) with big boobs' then three posts in it all changes to 'Who amongst us ladies doesn't like wearing a tight Tshirt and a thong and bending over for our man. Come on girls, we all do it!'

You can spot them from the OP it's so obvious.

Yes to both your questions.

There is also a change in women's attitudes regarding women too based on the world they grew up in. I remember my mother talking about not being allowed a credit card or bank account without her husband's approval, how she had to give up her job when she became engaged, how my two aunts refused to get married because they loved nursing so they had to choose between a career or children, when girls were thrown out of the house if they got pregnant before marriage and living in sin was an absolute no, but worst of all I personally remember when they changed the law so wives were finally allowed to say no to sex. Rape was legal in a marriage until then but this only happened in the 1990s. Mind blowing.

The world, and people's attitudes, have changed dramatically towards women. And it's swinging backwards again. Don't believe me? Period huts have returned in certain Scottish schools, there's been a very recent court case.

What safe space?

Surely you don't mean a public internet forum that you don't even have to join to read?

Online forums, such as this, will never be a safe space for Women. All Women, and it is naive to think that it would be.

We have a fair number of angry men on here posing as women (plus a few angry men who aren't).

We've always had trolls on Mumsnet and I strongly suspect a lot of the 'Man here' posts, are female trolls knowing exactly which buttons to push.

But ultimately none of us can know for sure, which is why I take most MN posts with a pinch of salt.

Online forums will never be a safe space. I have been here a long time (I name change frequently). I still find things to read and sometimes comment but would never start my own thread. MN reflects the outside world and is in many places full of anger, hate and yes, misogyny. Also, in the oddest places you have threads designed to create unrest and dissatisfaction. I used to like reading the 'property' threads but now you get nasty threads about people who live in social housing - trolls everywhere. I think in the end MN will just be populated by people 'shouting at bins' and genuine posters will vote with their feet.

It clearly states that her stake money came from her own savings @hay5689