How can I process the sudden loss of our family dog?

[hollyjolly12]

As the title says, our 6 year old family dog passed away this morning. He had his fair share of health issues (both food and environmental allergies, plus at 4 years old he had surgery to remove an object he swallowed).

This morning was a usual Monday; me and the kids got up, I fed the dog, made the kids breakfast, everything was fine. Then out of nowhere the dog collapsed and had some sort of seizure. I held him but there was nothing I could do. I thought he'd wake up but he just didn't. I was a mess when it happened and the kids were distraught. My husband left work and arranged for him to be collected, then we had to say goodbye to him. The kids still went to school but Mondays are my day off. The house has been so quiet all day. I feel broken. I know he's a dog and losing people is so so much worse but I loved him so much. What can I do to help me process this?

I’m so sorry, you must be feeling totally shocked and lost.

Thank you so much everyone for your messages, I have read and appreciate them all. I will listen to the podcast that was suggested. This morning getting up for school felt very strange, but we managed it. I'm now sat on the sofa having a cry but will crack on with things soon. I'm sure every day will get a little easier. I think I'll plan something for us to do this weekend to get us out of the house. To the poster who suggested another puppy, we had actually been talking about that in recent months as we think our dog felt the loss of MIL's dog last year and we thought a puppy might give him a new lease of life sort of thing. Perhaps in time its something we will still consider but for now I'm not sure.

Nothing prepares you for the sudden loss of a youngish dog. We lost ours after the sudden onset of an acute leukaemia. Three days, and it was horrible but now we've recovered, we cherish his memory and all his silly foibles. Sending kindest sympathies.

Losing a companion animal can be worse, much worse sometimes than a human death. It’s likely you are in shock so be prepared for it to feel worse for a while when the shock wears off.

I can only now think of one of mine without feeling physical pain, and it was over 18 months ago.

The Blue Cross pet bereavement helpline is very very good.

I am so, so sorry.

How are you feeling now @hollyjolly12 two months down the line? I’ve just come across your post as I’m in the grief trenches after our darling 11 year old boxer Daisy was PTS on Monday morning at home. She was 11 and she was a dearly beloved member of our family - it’s hit us incredibly hard. I’ve not felt pain and loss like this before. I’d love to know how you’ve coped since the passing of your lovely dog xx

We have had several dogs over the years, you always have something to love about them. They’re all different.

I’m such a wimp with losing dogs that we have a succession strategy so never have to not have one.

It’s so painful, people who don’t have dogs don’t see it, but it’s such a huge loss. I really feel for you, six is too early and being all so sudden, it must be heartbreaking for you.

@ThatFastGoldPoster so sorry to hear about your boxer, bless her. I saw a puppy boxer yesterday and thought what brilliant and characterful dogs they are.

I've been okay, still think about him every day (maybe sometimes just for a brief moment but the hole in my life still feels very noticeable). My daughter talks about him all the time. She misses him but is desperate to fill the gap with another dog. My other two children are adamant they don't want another one. I don't know what the right thing to do is. I've always wanted dogs my whole life but to think I only got 6 years as a dog owner feels sad, but we have tried to make the most of being 'dog free' this summer by getting out for long, last minute days out which has been nice.

Was Daisy your only dog or do you have others? Have you always had boxers?

Thank you for your kind words. As time has gone on my biggest fear is how the kids actually felt about what happened (as they were there when he passed). They don't really say much or seem to want to talk about it and I don't like to bring it up in case it makes them feel sad.

We actually had talked about getting another dog before ours passed, as a companion for him (my in-laws lost their dog last year and both dogs were very close as we used to look after theirs all the time). I wish we'd got one now as we wouldn't have this weird gap of having no pets at home and not knowing if/when is best to have another.

I'm so very sorry Holly.

Having lost both dogs and horses, those animals through elective euthanasia due to being at the end of their lives or due to injury or incurable conditions, were easier to cope with in some respects as you have a chance to come to terms with the planned euthanasia. But those that pass suddenly or traumaticaly are harder to cope with in my experience. There are so many unanswered questions and what ifs and you don't get a chance to say goodbye. My horse who broke his leg and another who dropped down dead in the field were very traumatic and we lost a dog traumatically too although I was not there to witness. But I believe I trigger stacked and had a form of PTSD afterwards. Please look after yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help from your GP if you are struggling.