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Original poster

How can I process the sudden loss of our family dog?

29 replies

hollyjolly12 · 08/06/2026 19:52

As the title says, our 6 year old family dog passed away this morning. He had his fair share of health issues (both food and environmental allergies, plus at 4 years old he had surgery to remove an object he swallowed).

This morning was a usual Monday; me and the kids got up, I fed the dog, made the kids breakfast, everything was fine. Then out of nowhere the dog collapsed and had some sort of seizure. I held him but there was nothing I could do. I thought he'd wake up but he just didn't. I was a mess when it happened and the kids were distraught. My husband left work and arranged for him to be collected, then we had to say goodbye to him. The kids still went to school but Mondays are my day off. The house has been so quiet all day. I feel broken. I know he's a dog and losing people is so so much worse but I loved him so much. What can I do to help me process this?

OP posts:
Branwellgirl · 08/06/2026 19:58

I don’t think you can do anything Holly, except endure. Nothing will make you feel better except the passage of time.
What a terrible shock for you all. I’m sorry.

Original poster
hollyjolly12 · 08/06/2026 20:06

Thank you so much for commenting. I just can't get over how quickly it happened and how suddenly our life has changed. I keep wondering if there were any signs that something was wrong but I don't think there was. I just wish we'd known that we'd only got 6 years with him, that the weekend was our last.

OP posts:
Ihateboris · 08/06/2026 20:08

It's utterly heart breaking. I lost my 6 year old Labrador in a horrific accident last year. The only thing that helps is time. Thinking of you 💔

Jellyofftheplate · 08/06/2026 20:09

That's devastating. I think all you can do is try not to minimise what has happened, and to be kind to yourself and let yourself be upset. It feels like a big deal because it is a big deal. As the PP said, there's no quick fix. You just have to learn to live with the pain because I can't truly say that it does away. X

BlondeFool · 08/06/2026 20:10

I’m so sorry. Heartbreaking. Be kind to yourself x

Sofiacalling · 08/06/2026 20:14

I’m sorry for your loss. Losing pets is hard. I’d try moving all his things into one place so that you’re not looking at them in every room. It does get better but there’s no short cut.

Original poster
hollyjolly12 · 08/06/2026 20:14

Ihateboris · 08/06/2026 20:08

It's utterly heart breaking. I lost my 6 year old Labrador in a horrific accident last year. The only thing that helps is time. Thinking of you 💔

I'm so sorry to hear that. It just feels like this wasn't how it was supposed to be, this wasn't the 'plan' and it all feels so wrong :(

OP posts:
Original poster
hollyjolly12 · 08/06/2026 20:17

Sofiacalling · 08/06/2026 20:14

I’m sorry for your loss. Losing pets is hard. I’d try moving all his things into one place so that you’re not looking at them in every room. It does get better but there’s no short cut.

Thank you, I'll do this tomorrow if I can. Right now I can't even bring myself to empty the water bowl or hoover the kitchen because I don't want his fur to not be there anymore (despite it being the absolute bane of my life previously as he shed constantly).

OP posts:
goodnightssleepbenice · 08/06/2026 20:19

Big hugs , it’s just devastating when a pet dies and not having any warning anything is wrong it comes as such a shock ( I know how you feel in Covid we were told our dog had cancer at 1pm and she was put to sleep at 4pm)

dottydoglover · 08/06/2026 20:25

We lost our 16 year old cocker a month ago … no matter the age of your beloved pet it’s a huge loss .. the house feels so different and empty .. keep yourself busy and distracted but make time to grieve .. I’ve retraced all the walks we used to do to give myself time to grieve …. It does get easier and I’m less emotional now but these dogs really do leave a paw print on your heart 💓

ScrollingLeaves · 08/06/2026 20:25

I think it can help to get a notebook and write down all your memories of him. You’ll fi d you keep thinking of more and more. And also maybe make a photo album of special times with him. For example perhaps holidays, birthdays, Christmas. And looking funny or looking adorable.

RockyFraggles · 08/06/2026 20:25

I'm so sorry, it is utterly heartbreaking. Love is love, whether it is of people or animals. It is still grief and it is understandable you are so upset.

4 years since we lost Ddog very suddenly and I still miss him very much. He was my soul dog, my comfort, my constant.

Ddog had a seizure as well but came round from it, sort of. A few hours later he was gone. I was in utter shock and kept hearing him round the house for the next few days. Thought I was going mad.

Be kind to yourself, it is horrific to see them have a seizure like that so out of the blue and then to say goodbye.

StephensLass1977 · 08/06/2026 20:30

My poor dog passed away aged 6 a couple of years ago. No clues at all. He'd passed all his vet health checks. Turned out he had cancer which had gone totally undetected. I went away for work for 2 days, he was happy as Larry. Came home and partner told me he'd gone off his food. The next day he wouldn't get out of bed. Took him to the vet, that's when the cancer was diagnosed. They kept him in, sent him home that night, told us if no improvement / he was uncomfortable, to bring him back in.

Sadly he never got better so we had to take him back to the vet in the morning for them to do the right thing by him.

We already had another dog, and a few weeks later we got a new puppy but I will never forget how that made me feel. It is HORRENDOUS. I was totally shaken. Sick. Couldn't eat, couldn't function. And I have lost both my parents, I know what grief is.

It happened at Christmas, and I don't really like Christmas anymore.

I got a load of pics printed from one of those companies, stuck them up on the walls after a week or two, and I very slowly started to feel better.

Yes, it's funny how things we rolled our eyes at are suddenly much missed.

It still hurts but you WILL get better.

WalterMittysPuppet · 08/06/2026 20:30

The loss of a much loved dog is incredibly painful, I'm so sorry. These feelings are all normal, but they do become sort of transient - today you can't bear to touch his stuff, tomorrow it might feel easier to empty his water bowl but you won't be able to let go of his lead, the day after that it'll be a smell, etc etc. I took my dog's smelly harness to an overnight work thing and kept holding it to my nose and sobbing (in private obvs, I only got a wobbly lip in public if I saw a dog). I've never seen my husband cry the way he did over her. Like yours it was sudden (except she was 12) and felt so wrong that the end had just arrived with no warning.

Let the feelings come and go. They will change and evolve. This pain and grief is the price we pay for loving our dogs. I'm so sorry.

Isitevensummer · 08/06/2026 20:32

Have you asked whoever has him now to make you a paw print or save some of his hair for you? That can help. As can making a photobook of all the happy times. He had a great life with you, so remembering how happy he was and seeing it in pictures can really help. I am so sorry, its so hard.

Cioccoholic · 08/06/2026 20:33

Sorry for your loss. My mum died in my arms after collapsing at home very suddenly. In my case luckily my kids weren’t there, it was just me and mum.

Best thing to do is keep functioning and try not to dwell on it during the day. Let yourself run over the flashbacks in your mind when you have some quiet space. I think it is both a devastating and comforting thing when someone beloved dies so suddenly with no indication anything is wrong.

Remind the kids that the dog didn’t suffer for long, and remind yourselves of happy normal things that you had done with the dog in the run up to his death.

In my case. I’d been eating lunch in the garden with my mum and dc the day before and the sun was shining and everything was perfectly okay. It’s a real shock when less than 24 hours later, mum is slipping away while you try and comfort her and reassure her that help is coming. I had a realisation that she was dying at some point in time - and luckily I said the most of the right things, the things that needed to be said. I wish I’d had a few days longer, I wish I’d done some things differently in the last week of her life. But wishing doesn’t change anything, and you have to accept it has happened and you’re not to blame.

OceanKitten · 08/06/2026 20:36

Hello @hollyjolly12 , I'm so sorry to hear about your beautiful family dog ♥️
What a terrible shock for you all, and how very sad. It sounds as though your family's lives, including the life of your dear dog, were enriched by him living with you for 6 years as a much loved family member.
Try not to be too sad by looking back and wondering if you could have done anything better or different before his sudden death, because from what you've written it sounds as if you have loved him and he has loved you, and that is all any living creature could hope for.
I agree with previous posters that grieving this loss has no time limit.
As with any loss you must allow yourself to grieve in any way that brings you comfort, everyone is different in how they process loss, and for how long.
Be mindful of your DCs as they may want to talk about him or ask questions to help them understand that it's okay to feel very sad for as long as it takes.
In time you will remember him with smiles, and the many good memories will overcome this saddest one.♥️

Original poster
hollyjolly12 · 08/06/2026 21:20

StephensLass1977 · 08/06/2026 20:30

My poor dog passed away aged 6 a couple of years ago. No clues at all. He'd passed all his vet health checks. Turned out he had cancer which had gone totally undetected. I went away for work for 2 days, he was happy as Larry. Came home and partner told me he'd gone off his food. The next day he wouldn't get out of bed. Took him to the vet, that's when the cancer was diagnosed. They kept him in, sent him home that night, told us if no improvement / he was uncomfortable, to bring him back in.

Sadly he never got better so we had to take him back to the vet in the morning for them to do the right thing by him.

We already had another dog, and a few weeks later we got a new puppy but I will never forget how that made me feel. It is HORRENDOUS. I was totally shaken. Sick. Couldn't eat, couldn't function. And I have lost both my parents, I know what grief is.

It happened at Christmas, and I don't really like Christmas anymore.

I got a load of pics printed from one of those companies, stuck them up on the walls after a week or two, and I very slowly started to feel better.

Yes, it's funny how things we rolled our eyes at are suddenly much missed.

It still hurts but you WILL get better.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, I totally agree with your line about rolling your eyes at them but now missing them. I've said to my husband I don't know if I'll ever be ready for another dog. Maybe I'll feel differently in the future but I can't imagine loving another dog the same (I know people say the same about children and I have 3 so I know it's possible for the love to extend/grow).

OP posts:
Original poster
hollyjolly12 · 08/06/2026 21:22

OceanKitten · 08/06/2026 20:36

Hello @hollyjolly12 , I'm so sorry to hear about your beautiful family dog ♥️
What a terrible shock for you all, and how very sad. It sounds as though your family's lives, including the life of your dear dog, were enriched by him living with you for 6 years as a much loved family member.
Try not to be too sad by looking back and wondering if you could have done anything better or different before his sudden death, because from what you've written it sounds as if you have loved him and he has loved you, and that is all any living creature could hope for.
I agree with previous posters that grieving this loss has no time limit.
As with any loss you must allow yourself to grieve in any way that brings you comfort, everyone is different in how they process loss, and for how long.
Be mindful of your DCs as they may want to talk about him or ask questions to help them understand that it's okay to feel very sad for as long as it takes.
In time you will remember him with smiles, and the many good memories will overcome this saddest one.♥️

Thank you ❤️ I have just had a chat with my son at bedtime, he is really upset. It's the finality of it all that makes it difficult I think. I appreciate everyone's kind words, they really are a comfort.

OP posts:
Original poster
hollyjolly12 · 08/06/2026 21:27

Cioccoholic · 08/06/2026 20:33

Sorry for your loss. My mum died in my arms after collapsing at home very suddenly. In my case luckily my kids weren’t there, it was just me and mum.

Best thing to do is keep functioning and try not to dwell on it during the day. Let yourself run over the flashbacks in your mind when you have some quiet space. I think it is both a devastating and comforting thing when someone beloved dies so suddenly with no indication anything is wrong.

Remind the kids that the dog didn’t suffer for long, and remind yourselves of happy normal things that you had done with the dog in the run up to his death.

In my case. I’d been eating lunch in the garden with my mum and dc the day before and the sun was shining and everything was perfectly okay. It’s a real shock when less than 24 hours later, mum is slipping away while you try and comfort her and reassure her that help is coming. I had a realisation that she was dying at some point in time - and luckily I said the most of the right things, the things that needed to be said. I wish I’d had a few days longer, I wish I’d done some things differently in the last week of her life. But wishing doesn’t change anything, and you have to accept it has happened and you’re not to blame.

I am so awfully sorry to hear this and my heart goes out to you and your family, what an awful thing to happen. Despite my grief I do keep trying to remind myself that it is absolutely worse when this happens to a person and I am fortunate at the moment to still have my parents and in-laws. I hope you are able to heal from your loss, I think it is comforting to know that you were there for your mum ❤️

OP posts:
Hfiajfbdoflv · 08/06/2026 21:30

Just adding to the messages to be kind to yourself. It’s absolutely devastating to lose a pet. Our one year old cat was hit by a car last year and I didn’t stop crying for two weeks. The thing that helped us was rescuing two new kittens. Appreciate that isn’t for everyone though. And of course it can never replace them. Just reminds you that you can smile again.

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 08/06/2026 21:30

I am so so sorry for your loss. There is truly no pain like it. In lots of ways it’s weirder than the death of a human - I share my bed with my cat every single night! (There’s only one other human I’d share my bed with and that’s my husband. But the cat, no problem!). They are family members, and the pain when we lose them is hideous.

Obviously it’s very early days but I would genuinely and gently suggest opening your heart and home to another dog in the near-ish future. All that love has to go somewhere.

Hfiajfbdoflv · 08/06/2026 21:32

I also really rate this ted talk for putting practical steps in to help during tough times. It’s the Lucy Hone Ted X Christchurch on resilience:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NWH8N-BvhAw&ra=m

OneHardyRobin · 08/06/2026 22:13

I’m so sorry, that must have been awful for you all. I lost my 15yo old last year and we still feel it now. She was my best friend, there through all my worst times, best times and everything in between. She adored my DC too, played with them, napped with them and watched over them. Our dogs love us unconditionally, they never hurt us or let us down. I have never grieved a human like I have my dog. I can’t imagine how you must feel loosing your boy so suddenly out of the blue. Don’t feel you have to downplay how you feel or brush it aside xxx

changedusername190 · 08/06/2026 22:31

I had this happen to my shin tzu. The evening it happened was just like normal. She was standing up and she collapsed and had a seizure for a few seconds and I knew she had gone. We rushed her to the vet but she had wet herself and was floppy and all we could do was arrange her cremation. People said she was just a dog but she was more always by my side I’m so this has happened to you