Join me in my restaurant revolution!

[wheretoyougonow]

Why? did I hear you not ask. I went out for a rare lunch today and ordered a ploughman’s. It came with three large different cheeses and one tiny piece of bread and no crackers. Who is eating blue cheese etc with these accompaniment’s?
The same goes for whenever I order pate. Normally one massive slab with two teeny tiny triangles of toast.

I am staging a restaurant revolution. If you are out at a restaurant and see a slightly eccentric middle aged women pulling a white cob out of her handbag you now know why. If you give me a nod I will share my fellow mumsnetter.

Please feel free to share your eating out lighthearted frustrations and we can rise up to make the changes.

QR code menus. A pox on them.
Give me a paper menu. Am tired of staring at my screen.

Butter portions that are rock solid and tear my teacake into shreds. Yes I understand that sometimes it gets hot and they have to stay in the fridge but could some stay in the fridge and some be warming up ready for action please.

Vegetarian menu options. Always butternut squash, beetroot or mushrooms, with goat's cheese. More often than not a risotto.

The very reason I don't go out for Sunday lunches anymore - gravy.

Not enough gravy on a roast dinner, in fact, not enough sauces at all in general, usually for me anyway.

Yes I could ask for more (and I do), but the harassed waiting staff can take a while and the risk is that the food goes cold.

I once put several hangs head in shame as there was no butter a margarine portion down my bra to warm up at a breakfast buffet. Found it at 4pm. Luckily it was sealed portion...had it been butter it would of leaked

OP, cobs are the way to go

🤣🤣🤣

In my experience always pasta-bake. "Does it have parmesan on it?" "Yes, of course." "Then tell the half-wit in the kitchen, it's not vegetarian!"

Two things - make clear if it's table service or you have to order at the counter. Customers are not mind-readers and it's easy to put up a sign or say on the menu.

And if you serve a pot of tea, don't serve a tiny jug of milk with it.

The last time there was a thread like this, people said "but it's so hard to run a cafe". Maybe it is, but both of those things are easy. As is making sure butter isn't rock hard on teacakes (tip - put it inbetween the sides of the teacake to warm up before you take it to the customer!) or providing enough bread with a pate (or soup, come to that).

Never enough wraps for your Peking Duck with hoisin sauce, spring onion, cucumbers.

This randomly reminds me of the time DH and I ordered a baked brie.
It came with 7 bits of bread - tiny little rounds of baguette - and I asked for one more slice so we had 4 each.
Restaurant manager said he could but it would have to charge £1 for the extra bread.
We all (inc him) had a laugh over £1 for a tiny circle of bread and said I understand, don't worry about it.
Then he bought a whole extra baguette for free.

Bread. Matters.
I'm in.

Or the 'catch all' vegetarian/vegan/gluten-free/dairy-free cauliflower steak as the only meat-free option. Priced at £18 .

Ooh, afternoon teas where every cake is chocolate (or has chocolate on it) and restaurants where every pudding is a 'chocolate something'.

When there are so many other wonderful cakes and puddings available, making everything chocolate is just the lazy option.

Cheese. FUCKING CHEESE. I HATE FUCKING CHEESE. There are cafes and restaurants I commoner go to because everything has cheese in or on it.

my favourite restaurant has just released its new summer menu and the 5 starters are 3 cheese based or 2 fish.

they have just lost one of their regular customers. It is fucking laziness and I am sick of it.

sorry but I really feel strongly about this. As you may be able to tell!!

A filled baked potato with a butter portion on the side
vegetarian ‘bake/pasta’ costing as much as a steak when it cost about £2 to make

Yes, the bread/ cracker/ toast ratio to cheese or pate is always way off. Pisses me right off.

@NightText - I will share my cob with you.

Spillmaster special tea pots

You can have all my gravy, @MeAndMyGhost - my mum heavily disapproved of gravy, so I grew up eating roasts without it.

Bread takes up precious cheese space in my stomach so I'm fine with none.

Burgers served in a brioche bun.

Fucking travesty. I want BREAD around my juicy, savoury burger not a bloody sweet roll.

Very rarely does anyone ask if you need another drink. Totally puts me off going out for food having to make a glass of water last the whole meal.

Please make sure all the food at a table is ready at the same time. Recently ate in a large Italian chain and the pizza was cold when it arrived. I sent it back, by the time the replacement arrived my partner's food was cold! Ridiculous.

Why do they put a paper napkin under sandwiches,cake, wraps etc? Put it on the side so it doesn’t get soggy ?
And please can we have easy to open satchels of mayo, vinegar etc? Fed up of wrestling away at the perforated corner and getting nowhere.

I don't like chocolate cakes or cakes with vanilla in them - no afternoon tea for me.

easy to open satchels of mayo, vinegar etc You don't think that's a tad excessive @saltrock123 ?

Not enough vegetables.....I want more than two green beans and a slice of carrot.