What entertainment do your husbands bring to family life with older children?

[unlikelychump]

If you live with your dh and children, what does he bring to the family in respect of entertainment? Our kids are 9-13 and he is is clearly at a loose end about how to spend time with them. If I ever say do you want to do something with the kids,he suggests this walk we have done a load of times, that noone wants to do. He doesn't really have much to do with them on a day to day basis.

I am asking because more generally pur family dynamics need work, but this is an issue for sure.

Ours is 13 and except for eating dinner together we don’t really “do” stuff together on weeknights. Ds has a computer console in our main family room so we’re mostly in the same space but not doing anything together.

What does your DH like to do? Does he have his own mates do they have children. What does he do when he’s at home.

I only ask as pairing up some shared likes makes it easier. I’ve taken mine with me do do stuff I like in the hope we’d forge shared interests. Some blokes are just a bit awkward going out with kids and if you go with your mate makes it fun.

Camping for a weekend without mum is good. We go the Wimbledon finals weekend so the wife can watch tennis in peace. He could try glamping or a YHA.

Another good one is street food maket . Get the bus into town few pints let them choose different foods bus home.

The same sort of things I do with the kids, really.

Games in the garden/park - football, frisbee, tennis

Video games

Board games/card games

Helping with homework

Takes them to activities/friends

Cinema

Swimming

What's the norm like in your group of friends/family? I find the term "hands on dad" quite old fashioned really. I don't know any dads who aren't engaged with their kids. It's normal for us. And it's been the case since birth really. If you have done everything with the kids for over a decade, it's unrealistic to expect it to change now.

I agree, most dads are hands on these days. Many of the dads in our social circle are. He was more involved when they were younger - more interacting with them than playing i realise in hindsight. Since they have been 8 onwards he seems to find them hard.

He likes football, piano playing and video games, hill walking, skiing. He likes sport in general.

We have both girls and boys. One liked football for a while, 2 play the piano, I suspect they would all like video games. Wd all like swimming. We have a campervan and tents. Everyone has walking boots.

There is plenty in common as you see, but he doesn't seem to see it like that.

He is very willing to ferry them around.

DS is 14:
Kick about in garden
Take them to driving range/pitch n put
Sit in the hot tub with them
Play a video game w them
Watch a TV series with them
Go on dog walk w them
Joint tasks like car washing/lawn mowing
Lego

Not constantly, but here and there. Concious effort to interact.

My husband and the kids built a trebuchet once. It worked a lot better than they expected. 😵
They also built a tree house.
We have a very big garden 😁

Sounds like he has loads he can do with them. Does he lack confidence in taking them out ? Is is a bit of a chore? Would he take them with one of his friends . We all evolved around each other’s kids . We were late to the party and they now have teenagers and young adults mine still primary but they will come along with me for mini golf or walking.

Ive taken their teens out for food. He needs to find his fun . I scan groupon for deals on things to do or meal deals maybe that would give him some inspiration.

My husband has always been hands on with our kids school stuff, homework etc. Provides a lot of emotional support, guidance, bit of pushiness etc. They are 15 and 17 now. Supported with revision and also uni applications/visits etc. I appreciate all that practical/emotional support more so than being entertaining. He's always been keen for us to do things as a family, probably more than him 'entertaining' them 1-1. I'm better at thinking of things for us to do as a family but he is happy to oblige. Does a lot of ferrying them around these days which he has more time to do than me. He sorts medical stuff or school admin. As they get older, they tend to want to spend more of their free time with friends anyway. Make the most of family, 1-1 time while you can!

Our kids are younger (4 & 6) and DH:
takes them to weekly swim lessons
takes them on bike rides
takes them to play parks/soft play
plays with them in the garden/play room
does the “messy play” stuff with them
takes DD1 to a weekly activity
takes DD2 to her weekly activity when needed

he has also taken them to his sister’s house overnight so I could have friends round for a night in, which meant him taking them out for dinner and to a play park and beach all by himself!

ETA he also listens to DD1 read 3 times a week and practises spellings with her, as do I. And we share sitting with DD2 while she does her weekend homework