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To tell you our last family drama!

91 replies

ShutupLwren · 02/06/2026 09:20

So I have left this a little while before I posted it because it’s something that people in real life would recognise even if I changed some details. But I thought I’d tell you lovely folks.
I’ll try to not drag this out,(I failed) I’ve been accused of making things up on here a few times and I don’t want to have to come back and explain why I’ve given certain details. I will say to me, it’s relevant.

So I have 4 DC, one of which I’ll call Jim, Jim is 7 with autism and learning disability. He is verbal but very much on his terms. Usually to swear, say no or ask for help. Often this can simply be a word shouted like “poo” or “cake”. The important things in life.
Jim has a 9 year old brother, bob. Bob is the loveliest kid you could meet. He is also autistic but has no learning disability and copes well. We have endless certificates and stickers and badges from school for his willingness to help, good manners and always displaying kindness and respect. Bob absolutely adores Jim. He takes him out the house each morning to his school transport and kisses him. He says, “don’t be a rascal, I love you” and gives the other kids in the taxi a good morning. This is important, whilst bob is a lovely wee lad, he is fiercely protective of jim.

Last year my SiL started dating a guy who just like the one before him and the one before him, was what I’d call, a bit of a wanker.
For context SiL isn’t DP’s biological sister, but they’ve grown up together, she is related to his older brother, but DP and SiL are the closest of the siblings. We love her. She’s chaotic, but worth the chaos because of how much we all love her. (Fuck me this is long I am sorry!)

So SiL and her boyfriend, let’s call him Tim, have been coming over quite a bit and whilst not directly related to his wankerness, Tim has extreme allergies. Peanuts/eggs/dairy. Basically dry bread and meat are his only safe foods. So when they’ve been over the kids have been told to ask for food, not just get it, just because Tim’s allergies are so bad we didn’t want anything near him. He should use an EpiPen and carry it with him but doesn't bother so we have always been very cautious what food is out so nothing contaminates his food.

Now as explained Jim doesn’t talk much. But he does scream when distressed and hits out, but also hurts himself with head butting things or smacking his head. Tim knows this. So SiL and DP are in the garden with our toddler. I’m in the kitchen, boys are upstairs due to heat, chilling out watching whatever crap they fancy on their tablets. This is when Tim decides to go upstairs to see them. Now as this is long already I’ll cut to the chase, Tim was purposely trying to get Jim to talk as a novelty. He did things to get a reaction, he took his iPad, started tickling him, just being a twat. So my poor boy starts to hit out, starts hitting himself and bob his brother is witness to this. He tries to stop Tim, tries to calm Jim down but Tim is escalating it and is now restraining my son, on his own bed, who is screaming and being tickled. Now bob runs downstairs, into the cupboard like lightening. I ask what’s happening and he’s running back up the stairs and I hear Bob yelling and swearing which I haven’t heard ever before.
Bob has armed himself with 2 eggs, I have run upstairs after him and turning the stove off, I find Jim in tears biting his hand whilst Tim is standing over him, and Bob is yelling, “I will throw this fucking egg in your face! I will kill you with this FUCKING EGG!” Anyway my eldest son is woken up (he’s working nights) and comes in to see what’s happening. I’m in a state of what the fuck, moving Tim away from my very distressed boy Jim. My eldest son who is usually a man of few words picks up Bob, tells him it’s all fine and carries him downstairs, eggs in hand. But does shout up at Tim, “you best get away from Jim or I’m coming back up there”. Im telling Tim to get out and away from Jim who is still very distressed and trying to headbutt things. Tim is refusing, trying to make us look unreasonable. He’s in the process of calling Jim spoilt and mollycoddled as DP is given a brief explanation by my eldest what’s happening. SiL is still with our toddler outside so DP runs up and tells Tim to leave. Tim is saying it was just fun to try and get Jim to talk. This enrages me because my son isn’t a fucking pet to tease. So at this point I tell Tim if he doesn’t leave an egg will be the least of his problems and to go right now. Tim goes to argue and DP just puts his hand on his shoulder and guides him outside. Anyway SiL, mortified, leaves with Tim. Who was not murdered by an angry Bob armed with egg. Tim then, by SiL’s account, said that our whole family are fucking mental, (not incorrect) then told SiL we aren’t even her real family (twat) and he’s never seeing us again. (Good) and then he then called Jim a vile ableist slur and that was the end of his relationship with SiL.
So I have no idea if he needed to ingest the egg to die or a decent throw to the face would have ended him. But either way, this long and very confusing story I wanted to tell you because I love reading other people’s silly little dramas.

Hopefully this wasn’t too confusing and I didn’t get the names muddled. I welcome any of your daft dramas if you would like to share.

One last thing because Jim isn’t able to form proper sentences to explain things, we wouldn’t have ever allowed tim to have gone upstairs to see Jim if Bob or someone else wasn’t present, he actually did previously ask to go visit him alone and DP went up with him. We take no risks with anyone around Jim alone, just added as I know posters worry about safety.

OP posts:
PillsBox · 02/06/2026 10:31

ShutupLwren · 02/06/2026 10:28

Entering his bedroom sounds far more sinister, I was aware he was up there. I had said because I knew there was another adult due to get up anyway, he was fine to say hi.
He wasn’t sneaking up.

I didn't say he was sneaking up.

But his hands were all over your child's body and as you said yourself upthread, you don't know if it's a sexual thing.

Stoicandhappy · 02/06/2026 10:38

Your family sound ace to me. Well done Bob!

ShutupLwren · 02/06/2026 10:39

Jk987 · 02/06/2026 10:30

I want to know if SiL and Tim have properly split up or if she’s gone back to him? I pray not.

Also how can SIL be related to your partners older brother but not to your partner?

It’s definitely over. He won’t ever be around again.

So SiL is the daughter of MiL’s ex. Mil also had a child with this man. Who is BiL. But SiL ended up staying with MiL when they broke up. It’s a weird one. MiL has a few different dads for her kids and some of them have siblings they’ve not even met yet. It’s a clusterfuck, but the ones that knew each other growing up stayed close.

OP posts:

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HoppityBun · 02/06/2026 10:40

Your children and DP are wonderful OP. You’ve created such a loving family

MrsLFii · 02/06/2026 10:41

wherearethesnacks · 02/06/2026 10:21

I'd agree. I'm surprised you find it so funny and that you thought it was fine for an adult man to be in the bedroom of your child because his nine year old brother was 'supervising'.

This 😫 I know we have to try to find humour in things but I feel deeply disturbed by this, it must have been so upsetting. Glad Tim won’t ever be a feature in your lives again.

SpringsOnTheWay · 02/06/2026 10:46

Bobs a hero

Tim wtf??!

ShutupLwren · 02/06/2026 10:46

PillsBox · 02/06/2026 10:31

I didn't say he was sneaking up.

But his hands were all over your child's body and as you said yourself upthread, you don't know if it's a sexual thing.

I also said Tim had previously been blocked from seeing Jim alone. Bob was with him and next door another trusted adult.
I am at fault not going up with Tim, I accept that. Despite cameras and another adult within close proximity I still fucked up and I accept that. Tim whilst seeming a bit of a fool didn’t seem like he was going to try to wind up my son as though he was a Labrador puppy. Bob is almost 10. Soon he will be expected to be getting the bus to school, asking for freedom to go to the shop. I didn’t think that allowing an adult who knew the room was full of cameras btw, would be a problem. At what age do we start allowing children some level of freedom to act independently? I feel 9 is fair. He had a house full of adults, including one not 2ft away. And god love him, he chose attempted murder via eggs, but he still dealt with the situation. Will I let someone go so hi to my kids again after this? Not without me, no, but it wasn’t as though it was a wild request, to bathe them, toilet them or tuck them into bed. It was going to say hi.

OP posts:
FasterMichelin · 02/06/2026 10:47

Is your SIL mortified? Why does she keep dating arseholes?

I love Bob, what a sweetheart, you must feel very proud of them all for handing a horrible situation so well.

Bonkers1966 · 02/06/2026 10:52

OP, if I were you, I would buy or make some hand puppets then write a script and put on a wee play about the shocking incident you described above with the dickhead visitor. The kids might get a kick out of it and it may even be therapeutic. Goodness me.

PillsBox · 02/06/2026 10:54

ShutupLwren · 02/06/2026 10:46

I also said Tim had previously been blocked from seeing Jim alone. Bob was with him and next door another trusted adult.
I am at fault not going up with Tim, I accept that. Despite cameras and another adult within close proximity I still fucked up and I accept that. Tim whilst seeming a bit of a fool didn’t seem like he was going to try to wind up my son as though he was a Labrador puppy. Bob is almost 10. Soon he will be expected to be getting the bus to school, asking for freedom to go to the shop. I didn’t think that allowing an adult who knew the room was full of cameras btw, would be a problem. At what age do we start allowing children some level of freedom to act independently? I feel 9 is fair. He had a house full of adults, including one not 2ft away. And god love him, he chose attempted murder via eggs, but he still dealt with the situation. Will I let someone go so hi to my kids again after this? Not without me, no, but it wasn’t as though it was a wild request, to bathe them, toilet them or tuck them into bed. It was going to say hi.

My point is, by trying to be so humorous about it, it just comes across as a bit dismissive, that this man had his hands all over your child's body.

I'm a firm believer in trying to see the funny side of things but there is none in this.

Pinnacles · 02/06/2026 10:57

Oh man, give it a rest @PillsBox

Errolwasahero · 02/06/2026 10:59

Hope Jim is ok after that, it will have been traumatic for him. Bob is an absolute hero! You have a lovely family 🥰

ShutupLwren · 02/06/2026 11:03

FasterMichelin · 02/06/2026 10:47

Is your SIL mortified? Why does she keep dating arseholes?

I love Bob, what a sweetheart, you must feel very proud of them all for handing a horrible situation so well.

She’s smart, but quite vulnerable. Undiagnosed with something we think. One guy she dated seemed perfect but he had a genuine obsession with a celebrity and it became too much for her. In every way he was terrific, he was sweet, funny, had a job and didn’t live in squalor. (Low bar with how bad they’ve been) but he would spend hours rewatching things this celebrity had been in or listening to songs of hers. The others have just been dreadful. One was a hoarder who would struggle to not take her recycling home with him to store and one had the most disgusting hands, full of dirt and I suspect shite. Yet Tim is now top of the leader board of wankers.

Bob is a sweetheart. He truly is. He was being taught about periods at school recently, he knew what they were but he’s just realised how they work and he wants to make sure that his school have free period products for female students. If he feels strongly about something he definitely snaps into action!

OP posts:
Yellowpingu · 02/06/2026 11:08

Bob is an absolute LEGEND ⭐️

RB68 · 02/06/2026 11:25

Tickling is abuse - end of. But he is out of their lives now, they just have to pick up the pieces. Both the kids experienced some trauma and whilst Bobs threat of murder is amusing (with eggs) it is in a dark way. He was pushed to the point of feeling the only way out was to kill someone!!! I think the discussion re getting help needs to be had bless him. At 9/10 he is not old enough to be incharge or responsible in this sort of situation

HughManity · 02/06/2026 11:31

Bob is a good egg.

StopFeckingSnoring · 02/06/2026 11:33

Jesus, what a horrible situation for your family. Tim sounds like an absolute monster.

I could not love the sound of Bob more. He is a complete hero. And so resourceful!

Thank goodness your SIL got shot of him.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 02/06/2026 11:41

I'm team Bob. What a hero! Love how quick thinking and brave he was.

Tim was way out of order he clearly doesn't understand Jim at all or didn't try to learn. Even without Jim's LDs it's wrong to insist on tickling a kid or dangling upside down or whatever, no sensible adult doesn't stop when told to. All that said I think shouting at him to leave may have been a step too far. I think giving him a piece of your mind was fair and telling him to stay away from Jim, but SIL has been put in a difficult position.

ERthree · 02/06/2026 11:44

Bob is a hero💙

Francestein · 02/06/2026 11:44

Your kids sound amazing, and I’m so proud of Bob for protecting Jim. Tim sounds like he is at the very least a sadist, but there is potential for predation also. What a fucking arsecrumb he is.

pickalillyspooon · 02/06/2026 11:49

Bob StarStarStarStarStar

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 02/06/2026 11:53

Bob is fucking Ace!! Op, don't listen to the people putting you down. And personally, I like the fact that Bob went straight to nuclear. Sometimes there isn't time to do the nice polite thing. Bob is an 'act now and ask questions later' kind of person, which in an emergency is what you need.

radioX · 02/06/2026 11:57

Bob bless him what a hero of a big brother

MrSchubertWhiskers · 02/06/2026 11:58

Devilsmommy · 02/06/2026 09:31

Bob is a fucking star. I've got a non verbal DS and I'd be so proud if he had a sibling who stuck up for him like this. Thankfully your sil saw how much of a twat Tim is and ended it. Your kids sound amazing 😁

100%

Can a stranger be proud of Bob? Because I am.

Brenzaida · 02/06/2026 12:06

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 02/06/2026 11:53

Bob is fucking Ace!! Op, don't listen to the people putting you down. And personally, I like the fact that Bob went straight to nuclear. Sometimes there isn't time to do the nice polite thing. Bob is an 'act now and ask questions later' kind of person, which in an emergency is what you need.

'Bob' went downstairs during the tickling/assault, apparently walked straight past his mother in the kitchen to get two eggs and went back upstairs to threaten 'Tim' with them. It would have been a lot quicker and more effective for him to have simply shouted for his mother to come upstairs, especially if his mother was relying on his presence to safeguard his non-verbal younger brother from potential harm (as well as the somewhat tenuous safeguarding of having a sleeping adult sibling in an adjacent room).

Maybe you need to have a conversation with 'Bob', OP, though I can't help feeling it's unfair of you to expect a 9 year old to safeguard his vulnerable sibling. When I was 10, I wasn't able to protect either myself or my younger sister from CSA.