Would a thank-you gift for my son's manager be appropriate?

[upperlowertimescale]

DS has been working on a building site. He doesn’t drive yet. His test is soon. He’s been taken to work and brought home again each day. The guy who has done it for the last 6/8 months has stopped due to him being a manager and not being on the same site every day - new site starting soon. Plus he has his own commitments after work with his kids and general day to day life etc. Someone else has started to take DS. In the time the manager had been taking him, DS has bought him lunch, gave him a gift card at Christmas, bought breakfast and drinks etc. Fuel is paid for by the company/company vehicle, so a contribution was not needed towards that.

So, as a parent this has been unbelievably helpful. DH and I could never have committed to getting him to site each day and there is no public transport available either. If he didn’t have a lift, he wouldn’t have been able to work. I’d like to say thank you and buy a gift for the manager. Possibly a voucher for dinner or Marks and Spencer. Just to say how much we appreciated all he’s done from a parents point of view.

Yes or an absolutely not?

I have a cupcake business. My daughter was very grateful that I did this. She knew that I was going to be sending them. I don't need to live through her as I have my own life. What her recruiter did for her was huge! And it was after hours and he didn't have to help her at all!

Not because I don’t drink, because my DH who is often the recipient of alcohol gifts doesn’t drink. I’m just saying it’s a bad gift when large swathes of the population don’t drink alcohol.

Well he could hardly saw he thought it was strange. Once it was done he had little choice but to say thank you.

You didn’t just say it might not be a good idea as many people don’t drink. You said “Also don’t get him beer either. God I’m sick of people thanking DH with bottles of alcohol.” One makes a decent point, the other is worthy of a Jesus wept.

Least original response ever 🤦🏼‍♀️

I think he's working. They are giving him a lift because they need him there. Not out of the goodness of their hearts.

To me I wouldn't give a gift to my employer or ask my mum to do so. It's not school. If it wasn't financially viable for him to give the lift then he wouldn't.

He didn't have to say anything

I was going to say the exact same thing.
And as another pp said, it is very common for younger men just starting off to get lifts in another’s van in this line of work. If he gets his own van eventually, he’ll probably be doing the same.
He has already shown appreciation. That’s all that’s necessary.
Men don’t tend to go in for this type of gift giving anyway. I know people try to make it less weird by giving manly gifts like beer, but from a young man to his boss…no, this would just seem a bit awkward and odd. It’s not a done thing.

Are you unable to interpret the meaning of my post? ‘I dislike when people buy DH alcohol as we don’t drink’ OBVIOUSLY infers that this may be the experience of others who also don’t drink and therefore that beer isn’t a universally appreciated gift. Do you really need things spelling out for you so much?

Jesus wept.

Yeah. That's pretty much my take. You said it better. It seems a bit cringe really.

He's a young man starting out at work. The impression he doesn't want to give his boss is that his mummy has him under manners!

Yes I would do this. I think it’s a lovely thing to do

I would say keep out of it, as its work.

I feel it would be different if it was a school or 6th form college scenario and a staff member had gone the extra mile.

Thanks all. I am not going to do anything beyond say thank you next time I see him in our local shop. And just FYI, there was no intention of me appearing on site to do some big gift giving!! We live in a small town, we see each other quite a bit in the passing.

I don't think anyone was suggesting you were planning some kind of ceremony on the site, only that this idea that a 17 year old who's old enough to have a construction job needs to have his mummy thank his site manager for lifts is what ends up with the kind of nonsense so many Mners think is normal, that women routinely manage birthday cards, presents etc for their spouse's family, because they're apparently incapable.

Wouldn't her own thank you be enough though? Why does it need the mum to also say thanks. Where does it stop, do the dads also need to give something?

No no no. Step away. This isnt your thing to express thanks about

Please don’t do this he will get absolutely ribbed. My ex worked on the same site as a bloke accross the road from us. So ex used to get a lift with him. He used to get him a pint in the local pub when they got back. That was all he wanted.