How do you lift your mood and manage constant tiredness?

[Dutifu]

I'm chronically tired from disrupted sleep.
I'm stretched too thinly at work.
I haven't been away - holiday, weekend away - for ten years.

I feel kind of trapped, albeit in a very comfortable and fortunate life.

I have a wonderful, funny, loving DH.
I go to the gym.
I walk every day.
I eat well.
I use naice stuff to perk up everyday experiences.

But I feel flat in two ways.
In one way, I'm really really fucking tired.
In another, I just feel a bit flat in my life.

I can't change anything at the moment.
I'm just interested in how people perk themselves up each day. I mean, how do you get your mood up in general? But, also what do you use to combat day-to-day tiredness? I've genuinely considered buying speed 😫

I think you're right. I think I particularly need to let some plates drop at work.

There are all kinds of reasons why I don't feel I can do that but I won't go into the nitty gritty here. I need to figure out what can drop.

If you can't go on holiday at all, not even in UK to dog-friendly places, have you had an intentional holiday at home? I don't mean just days off, but a proper break. Nothing planned. Fridge filled with healthy ready meals, prepped veg, fruit. A stack of fun books to read. A gorgeous playlist lined up. A couple of uplifting dramas films or documentaries to binge watch. Fresh bedlinen. Luxurious bath products. Phone switched off.

Then just do nothing. Have breakfast in the garden as if on holiday. Lie on a sunbed listening to music. Go back to bed and read.

No cleaning or laundry in those days off.

Napping is the way forward. To perk myself i indulge in my hobbies.

I would get your bloods checked. Also are you on HRT? I take magnesium and ashwanga at night which I find really helpful. Also aids like eye mask, ear plugs, appropriate bedding etc to help with the things that physically wake you.
What do you do for relaxation? Things like meditation, yoga, mindfulness can all really help to settle your nervous system. I feel with sleep a multi pronged approach is needed. I struggled for years with sleep but seem to have things sorted now.

You might be heading for burnout. This could be why you feel flat. Are you taking vitamins and minerals ? Get your vitamin D level checked and your thyroid. Or you may have adrenal fatigue, see your GP. I agree with others that a 15/20 minute power nap in the day can do wonders to refresh your energy levels if you can find the time and space for it. Sounds like you may need something to help you relax at bed time , try relaxing music you enjoy, or a sleep podcast etc and wear headphones. Mediation is also great. You might need to just rest whenever you can until you feel better and consider if you need to walk every day and go to the gym, especially if you are burnt out. You don’t say how old you are but peri/menopause can cause tiredness too. Why can’t you have a holiday or a weekend break with your dog as just about everywhere accepts dogs these days.

Good luck, I know it’s not easy but you will feel better for it

Sorry I should've said that I'm 40. No perimenopause signs yet.

I take multivitamins every day and cod liver oil.

Yes, we do this a couple of times a year. I love it. We live in a lovely place so easy for half-days out too.

I still think I'm missing a change of scenery.

If you are deficient, multivitamins may not be enough. Some things prevent absorption - drinking tea reduces the impact of iron supplements, for example. And you may need more vitamin B or D than the multivitamin contains. Worth getting private blood tests done if you can afford it, as NHS levels are ridiculously lower than many other first world countries.

So can't he take her for 3-4 nights so you can heal?

I was like this for a year but have recently started taking quite a bit of magnesium specifically Magnesium L-Threonate. I'd previously tried Magnesium Glycinate and it was awful as I had a paradoxical reaction so worse insomnia and anxiety. I am now cautiously optimistic about the Magnesium L-Threonate as I have been sleeping a bit better and being able to get back to sleep when I do wake. Better mood during the day as well.

I've been doing it for about 3 weeks now so it takes 8 weeks to get to full effect so fingers crossed!

I find when I haven't slept well I cannot nap at all as my cortisol is usually higher after a poor nights sleep. I also feel that there is no substitute for sleep, nothing made me feel better without at least 6 hours sleep, any less and I was just clawing my way though the day, hoping for sleep the next night.

Sounds like quite a lot of the sleep disruption is noise related. Could you consider a different style of earplugs, or a white noise machine running overnight? Lack of sleep basically makes your body mimic symptoms of ADHD. I have ADHD (no matter how much sleep I get, unfortunately!) and the constant tiredness and difficulty with mood and the reactive nervous system is very much what it's like untreated. So if you can improve the sleep it should really make a huge difference to your life.

There are dog seizure alarms/monitors you can get which would make a loud blaring noise to wake you/DH up if she had a seizure. Those might be worth looking into?

Multivitamin is better than zero, but it isn’t supportive enough for somebody chronically underslept. Being underslept is important. It deprives your body and mind of regeneration time. I hope you will consider more self care, I know that being tired is brain scrambling.
can you use earplugs so that you can sleep through the nocturnal wanderings in your home?

I see you have had a flurry of us all saying the same thing!

This sounds amazing and I'm going to plan this over the summer as we're not going anywhere this year 😙

Put the dog in the room with your husband.

Quite, especially as the husband is up and down in the night anyway!

Put some sort of headband or whatever over your ears, and SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP.

My DH does take the dog at night 50% of the time.

The dog is one of many sleep disruptions.
Even on the nights DH has the dog it still takes me ages to get to sleep; I still wake up in a panic attack or with night terrors once or twice a week; neighbours getting up at 5am still wakes me up.

I'm sorry that I'm being so negative here. I really do appreciate everyone's input. I just feel so overwhelmed that it's hard to see a way to change things.

I'm planning on an early retirement and part of me is just counting down to that. But nine and a half years feels like a long time to go.

Life’s too short to wait to be happier, @Dutifu

You sound really down. Could you just do one thing today to get you started? Maybe just an hour on your own to walk in a park, go to a nice cafe and read a a real paper? Do a crossword, just some wee thing you’d enjoy. With no guilt!

This sounds like a form of burnout and I’ve gone through a really bad bout myself recently. General exhaustion from bad sleep also a given my end with 3 kids. Things I’ve found that help:

1. Iron tablets (ferrous fumarate, not the mild stuff!). Game changing for energy.
2. Getting outside within an hour of waking up for a walk or run. It does wake you for the day.
3. Taking genuine rest days where you don’t touch work or housework. Read a whole book or binge watch a TV show. Properly switch off. The hunger and drive for work won’t come back if you never take a break.
4. Change of scene - personally a big one for me, if I get a week or even a couple of days in a different place (ideally country but doesn’t have to be) it helps. Know that’s hard with your dog.
5. Enough protein/red meat.
6. Magnesium or other supplements like vit D if need them.
7. Doing something each week that makes you excited for life - for me that could be a trip to the cinema, a gig, or just a nice evening at the park with the kids. Important thing is finding the joy and/or spontaneity.

Hope you can get through it!

So have him take it more than 50%
Get something to cover your ears at night.

Take some sort of medicine to help you sleep and be drowsy etc

You seem determined to just suffer through until some magical time after retirement 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

You are in a state of overwhelm.

1. order some earplugs you can sleep in, from Amazon
2. . Order some Magtein, from Amazon
3. order lithium Orotate, from Amazon.

these three purchases will give you rest.

these Are simple proactive things, to do now.

Can you book a week off to do nothing? Or a spa weekend

A crate for your dog?