How do you lift your mood and manage constant tiredness?

[Dutifu]

I'm chronically tired from disrupted sleep.
I'm stretched too thinly at work.
I haven't been away - holiday, weekend away - for ten years.

I feel kind of trapped, albeit in a very comfortable and fortunate life.

I have a wonderful, funny, loving DH.
I go to the gym.
I walk every day.
I eat well.
I use naice stuff to perk up everyday experiences.

But I feel flat in two ways.
In one way, I'm really really fucking tired.
In another, I just feel a bit flat in my life.

I can't change anything at the moment.
I'm just interested in how people perk themselves up each day. I mean, how do you get your mood up in general? But, also what do you use to combat day-to-day tiredness? I've genuinely considered buying speed 😫

I go for a private iron transfusion and have naps when Im not working.

HRT

What is nervous system disregulation

As a previous poster has said I'd go to the GP and get your bloods done. Both myself and a colleague did this recently. Her vitamin D levels were low, mine was ferritin (iron) (normal is 30-200 is normal 50+ if you exercise a lot, as I do, my level was 14!) have been on supplements a couple of months, I'm still tired but no way near as much and my sleep is so much better.

Let the tears out, OP! Will probably help.

Definitely look into hormones including thyroid and the various anaemias previously mentioned. You can pay to do this (medichecks) if you don't want to have to convince a GP.

Try going to be earlier and waking earlier.

Be strict about seeing the sun (or bright light in winter) as soon as you get up, and eliminating bright/blue light in the evening.

Close your eyes for 20min, even if you don't sleep. Fully rest your brain.

Also nocturnal issues e.g. night terrors could be related to blood sugar regulation.

Vitamin D spray and herbal iron (Floradix liquid or capsules or Feroglobin grain capsules - not the tablets.) Low iron wipes me out.

Lots of water with lots of ice. Dehydration can make you chronically exhausted. In hot weather, you can also try rehydration drinks like Dash, Trip or Aquarius.

Time outside. Morning tea or coffee in the garden unless it's tipping down with rain.

Gentle 5-minute exercise. Just yoga stretches or a bit of tai-chi warm up - fast circling of arms, running on the spot.

I often have bad insomnia or broken nights. I rely on caffeine a bit too much - strong morning coffees and diet cokes later on.

I sleep better on nights I haven't had a glass of wine, in case that's relevant.

You can boost serotonin with foods. A mega-powered booster is red chicory salad with walnuts, pink grapefruit and dolcelatte cheese - all three of which are mood enhancers. Even a glass of pink grapefruit juice and a handful of walnuts can help.

This is good advice about resting if you can't sleep. Learn Yoga Nidra, which is a very calming meditation where you lie flat, breath deeply, relax each muscle in turn and then do a very soothing visualisation. It is the next best rest to actual sleep.

Change your thoughts. Reprogram them from “I am so tired” to “I am getting better “

also iron spray and cod liver oil tablets

Nervous system disregulation is one of the terms used for when your body gets stuck in a state of chronic fight or flight mode.

So imagine instead of feeling situationally anxious or having occasional moments of worry, your body is now almost constantly reactive to anything. The constant stress hormones then cause further more chronic issues with low mood, fatigue, brain fog, digestive issues, muscle tension.

It can be directly caused by the things mentioned on this thread, like thyroid issues, sleep deprivation or vitamin deficiences, but my personal view is its normally a combination of these things and usually over time.

Its a lot easier to be proacticely well than to try and restore normal function when your stress response is constantly misfiring. And you also open yourself up massively to feeling depressed. As the brain affects the body, it can also become a feedback loop so for example, mine started with stomach issues which was likely caused by some low key stress/burnout, but the more I noticed, the more I was anxious about the stomach issues themselves, more worry made my stomach worse and it becomes bidirectional in terms of cause and effect.

Now Ive lost my spark completely and am putting the work in to feel normal again but it will take time and diagnostics.

I forgot to mention mood perks.
I do these:

• Put on upbeat music that I love - just a song or two either from my teens or anything that is uplifting, bouncy to start the day or to get me through cooking the evening meal or tidying/folding laundry. Make a list of songs that have a physically uplifting effect on you..
• Or chill music - I put on very soothing piano music often, just to start the day in a gentle way.
• Feed the birds first thing. It's lovely to feel the cool morning air on your skin, the grass on your bare feet. Fill the bird feed then go inside, make a cup of fresh coffee with frothed milk (no fancy machine, just a cafetiere and a hand whisk) and either go back out to sip coffee, listen to birdsong, stare at sky or stand at the window and do the same.
• Watch something that you know makes you laugh. If you have five mins - a you tube sketch by a favourite comedian. If you have 30 mins, an episode of one of your favourite comedy shows. If you have an evening, watch a happy, uplifting film or documentary.
• Sign up for good news websites that focus on positive stories of kindness, bravery, good changes in the world.
• Do something easy, quick, small but different. Try a new type of drink or soap scent. Walk, drive or commute a different way back from work or school run. Sign up for a different class at the gym. Listen to a new type of music, try a different kind of food etc.
• Do something that slightly scares you every day. Nothing stupid but something a bit daring - compliment a stranger or chat to a fellow commuter. Give your genuine opinion instead of what is expected of you (gracefully - not suggesting you start a row.) Say No to something you don't want to do.

One good tip (I think I read it on here first) is this:
Schedule good things in your calendar in this way:
A tiny thing to look forward to every day - could just be a long bath, a favourite episode of something, coffee with a friend
A small thing to look forward to each week - could be a night out with DH, a favourite dance class, a new film release
A medium thing to look forward to each month - maybe a trip to theatre, a comedy gig, a weekend away, a day out with friends. (Make sure you really look forward to it. If a long drive to have Sunday lunch with family is gruelling, then that is not your monthly fun thing so don't kid yourself it counts. Find another.)
A big thing to look forward to each season - could be a major party or family get together, a holiday, a residential course on something that really fascinates you, a major gig by a favourite artist or a festival etc. Something out of the ordinary that will stand out when you look back on the year.
And finally a major achievement or milestone each year, so you don't feel you're stagnating. Could be having a child or getting married, moving house or renovating, getting promoted or switching jobs, reaching a target weight or running a marathon, writing a book, starting a podcast, studying for a degree, climbing a mountain.

That way there are things large and small to look forward to and to enjoy all the way through the year. Some are instant, some need planning. Some are indulgences, some are your own development. It can help to make a bucket list which isn't all massive, expensive travel items but small things you have always been curious about but never got around to. When I did it, it included things like: pick wild blackberries and make jam; visit a nearby landmark that I'd always been curious about but never seen. Make a list of things you've always wanted to do, then sort it into very easy, needs a bit of time and needs proper planning. These can then be an inspiration list for your things to look forward to each day/week/month/season/year.

Also - and this might seem obvious, but we don't do it often enough: take a moment to appreciate the small good things every day. There's a massive difference between doing a 5 minute yoga stretch then rushing to get dressed, and doing a 5 minute yoga stretch while thinking: wow, that feels nice - ooh. I can really feel my back unwinding. Or knocking back a coffee instead of thinking: this is delicious.

Consciously register every nice thing you experience - doesn't have to be a stop and ponder - just fleetingly let yourself think 'that's lovely': beautiful sky, cute dog, snatch of your favourite song from a passing car, smell of bread as you pass a bakery, a hug from your DC or DH, the scent of your shower gel.

ETA: it's very important to do this when you don't feel like doing it. It breaks the relentless cycle of flatness. So a bit of fake it til you make it helps. It's okay to say to think: 'that is a beautiful sky' even if the sight of it isn't making you happy and it feels more like a clinical observation than an instinctive reaction. Do it often enough and the joy comes back. When it does, it feels fantastic. Like falling in love with life again.

Op I think you have answered your own question!

It’s not normal to go without a holiday for ten years. Even if you do live a privileged life. You are working flat out. Doctor or lawyer by by any chance?

Go on holiday fhs!!!! Take three weeks.

You will do your job better afterwards.

No one is completely indispensable, not even the prime minister!

Listen to your body! It’s waving a big red flag at you! You will be burnt out if you carry on like this. And your health will start failing. You are not superhuman. And no job, however important, is worth sacrificing your health and wellbeing!

Give yourself the same care and conscientiousness that you give to your clients/patients/customers/colleagues 🌺

It has taurine in it, which is where the name ‘ bull’ comes from. taurine is an amino acid that helps with energy, amongst other things. If you want to avoid the ‘other things’ element of the drink, you could try a taurine supplement!

Why won't you put the poor thing down? She's obviously struggling.

Why isn't your husband getting up with the dog?

Do you want to make changes OP? I’m asking because you keep batting back or joking about people’s advice to you.

We don't really get up with her in the night unless she has a seizure. She just makes you up when she goes for a wander at random times.
We alternate who has the dog overnight so we alternate who sleeps.

I'm actually an academic. No holidays is because of the dog, nothing to do with my job.

Thank you so much for everyone's advice.

Try a yoga nidra, or other non sleep deep rest (NSDR) rather than a nap

Take a few days away by yourself while your DH has the dog. You really sound like you need a change of scene, even for a couple of nights.

I want to improve my general mood and not be so tired all the time.

I want to make changes to make that happen within the constraints I have.

I really do appreciate everyone's input

I think you need to question the constraints and be a little more flexible

@Tonissister Thanks for your really long and thoughtful posts - I will fully read and digest them today. Also - love the username 😛

I'm sorry this happened to you.

How do you know when your nervous system is dysregulated? I mean, is that something a doctor diagnoses? Or you just feel it? I can really empathise with that constant flight or fight feeling.