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Baby shower, yes or no??!

31 replies

Habesha91 · 24/05/2026 21:08

Doubting if I should have baby shower or not. I was into the idea of having one like at home with close family and friends. However, with how people are these days and how little they care and selfish they have been, it put me off. For instance, one friend of dh only wants to come to our house to chill and whenever be comes be turns up empty handed whilst staying over for a night or so. Another one told me to that she would be give some of her son's clothes when for my baby and arranged a date, but nothing so far after she cancelled our meeting. The rest don't even get in touch to check on us or did anything to help.

My family hasn't offered to cover any expenses or buy any stuff for me or the baby. I know I'm not entitled to get anything but still something small would have been nice. So far, me and DH have bought everything with no help. So when I think of about the baby shower now, it looks like I'm going to end up planning and spending my money on it so what's the point? Plus I'm getting really tired and uncomfortable with the pregnancy and don't want to bother people to do stuff for me.

I have seen most places that baby shower are meant to be arranged by close friend, family and they are meant to throw the party for me, not the other way round. So if I organize my own it would be maybe odd? When I think about it, I could utilise the money to use on other important stuff like for me or the baby. Am I being negative?

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 25/05/2026 09:36

So just to be clear you know these people aren't interested but you want to throw a party to try and force them into buying you things? No, I don't think that's a good idea.

ImInTheCooler · 25/05/2026 09:49

OneDreamyGreenMentor · 24/05/2026 21:17

Are you in the UK? It’s not really a done thing here and unfortunately very much looked down upon and considered trashy/lower class.

If you want a baby shower and don’t mind absorbing the cost, go for it! This is your pregnancy, do what you like. Perhaps add to invitations “Please do not bring gifts” it takes the financial pressure off of people during an already tough time.

All this is bollocks. I live in one of the 'poshest' areas in England and they are very common. It's a generational thing and much more popular for millennials and younger and I've been to some stunning baby showers.
OP middle aged women and older will wince at the thought of a baby shower as such on here. But I don't think you should organise it yourself. And I also don't think you should expect others to fund any aspect of the child you have chosen to bring to the world. No one owes you or your baby anything, no matter the relation.

KnickerlessParsons · 25/05/2026 09:59

Celebrate after the baby is born, not before.

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Advocodo · 25/05/2026 10:01

Yea although I have never been to one. Think it sounds a great little chance for a get together.

hahabahbag · 25/05/2026 10:09

The origins of baby showers in the USA was female friends and relatives throwing it for you, typically a pot luck in someone’s house with a few silly games and soft drinks, never saw alcohol served or a venue used. Seems to have travelled over the Atlantic and been blown up into a full blown party thrown by the person/couple having the baby in a venue with costs attached aside from presents.

personally I’m not keen, I was so uncomfortable when my friends (in the USA) threw me one and it felt like bad luck too - for dd2 we threw a party ourselves one month AFTER dd2 was born to welcome her, felt for better

janeandmarysmum · 25/05/2026 10:22

25 years ago, I organised a shower for a colleague. It happened during lunchtime (I worked in a school) and we all brought our own lunch. I may have baked cakes, I can't remember. Gifts included vest packs, a rattle, bibs. Nothing expensive. It was lovely. We all had a good gossip and the soon-to-be-mum enjoyed it. That's how a baby shower should be. Anything more is grabby and tasteless.

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