What kind of work could I do

[KSera]

Hi,

I have depression, OCD and very bad problems with concentration (might be adhd).

I had to drop out of school because of the above. I then trained as an admin assistant on a specialised course for people with disabilities.
I couldn’t get a job after it though . No one would hire me.

Eventually I went on disability payments.
After about ten years, I decided to try to look for work again.
The employment officer didn’t think I was ready for working so I ended up doing the same course again. Towards the end I had a baby and relapsed.

It is now several years on and I am thinking about trying to get part time work, but I have no clue what I can realistically do.
I am reasonably smart but I obviously didn’t have a conventional education and I’ve never actually had a job before.
I have a primary age dc I’m currently sahm to, so would have to arrange childcare but I want to put that aside and just focus on suggestions of what type of work would suit me.

Here is some relevant info:
As above, crap concentration and I find it very hard to be organised
Generally low mood. Somewhat under control with medication but stress makes it worse. I’ve had all sorts of treatment for years and this seems to be as good as it gets for me
Low confidence
I quite like being around kids but I would be worried working with them would be too hard physically. I’ve got problems with my joints.
I am early forties and very much perimenopausal
I have very low energy levels
I am not great with people. I get on with people ok and am personable but I get totally worn out by too much interaction.

Has anyone got any suggestions as to what kind of work would suit me?
Or opinions on whether anyone would actually even hire me? Maybe I’m just not being realistic.

Some sort of Etsy business?

Can you also list some more positive things about yourself? It’s your positive attributes you need to focus on to get a job not the negatives that you’ve listed. So far on the positive side you’ve listed personable, smart and like kids. School admin post?

What you are interested in, are you a good listener, are you artistic, good with computers, caring, etc? Ask people who know you well to get more ideas. If you can list them here that will help with job suggestions.

I’d be looking for something that gets me out of the house ideally but thanks for the suggestion.

What about a little cleaning job, I have done this recently after years off work. It's generally solo work so you don't have the pressure of working with others and you sort of work out your own routines of tasks that need to be done. It's given me the confidence to wonder about other jobs I may like to do in the future

Unless you have GCSE Maths and English or functional skills I can’t see many places giving you a chance tbh with no work experience and a huge range of limiters. Best bet for low qualification work is things like bar work or retail but they still want a high level of interpersonal interaction, cheerful attitude etc.

Cleaning freelance work might work as someone suggested but it is physical. The difficulty is that jobs that don’t require much people work or technical skill/qualifications tend to be physical and those that aren’t physical tend to need people skills or technical skill.

Night shift stock work might have worked but not if you need childcare. Maybe dog walking if that’s not too much on your joints?

I'm an epileptic with depression and panic disorder. I'm a chartered accountant. My disability was stripped at 18 (thanks Blair) so I HAD to find work.

First thing stop giving reasons you CAN'T do things. Seriously nothing is more off-putting than I can't do X, I can't do Y and I can't do Z. You can do whatever you put your mind to. You could get a part time job cleaning, working in retail, working in childcare, hell start your own business selling crafts or cookies. What do you want to do?

I don't think you want a job you want to be less bored

Sorry, I tend to be quite negative, especially about myself.
The thing that puts me off admin generally is that although I was good at passing the exams (admin assistant/ financial admin assistant), I am very disorganised and have such problems with concentrating that I really struggled in the actual work environment. I had to do work experience modules as part of my course and it was very overwhelming. It might be something I could look into with supports though. School admin is something I hadn’t thought of. That’s a good suggestion, thanks.
I am quite good with kids. I only realised this once I had my own. I don’t know if I’d have the energy to start working with them at this stage of my life though.
I’m not great with computers. Two things I couldn’t get my head around in college were Excel and typing. The computerised accounting modules were done on Sage. I did computerised and manual payroll modules. Basic bookkeeping and accounting. Producing documents (writing emails/ letters etc). PowerPoint. Access. Basic marketing/ customer service. Word, including things like creating tables/ mail merge/ formatting. Some filing. Business calculations (manually working out things like compound interest etc. It was quite an old fashioned course).
My partner says I would be well able to work in an admin role and that I just lack confidence. In college they suggested I go on to study at a higher level but I didn’t see the point without any actual experience.
I would say I am a caring person.
I can’t really think of much else positive. With being so ill all the time it’s really hard to develop skills or even have hobbies. I was hospitalised for months at a time in my teens and twenties and missed out on a lot socially. It just got too difficult to catch up. Having my daughter has sort of forced me out into the world and my confidence has improved a lot through that. That’s what made me think of trying to work again.
It is harder these days with online applications. I get weeded out because I have no experience. I will look into what supports are there. I think no matter what kind of work it is, I probably won’t manage without support.
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply x

Yes, maybe. I’ll look into this. Thanks

Yeah, you’re probably right.

I couldn’t do dog walking or anything too physical. I’ve dislocated my knees so much times from unstable joints that I have a lot of ligament damage and pain. They are liable to go at any point if I’m not very careful and it’s excruciating when it happens.

what about housekeeping in premier inn hours were great 9.30-1.30pm 15hr contract just get on with the job ear buds in.

I think look up some volunteer roles

Sorry just seen your update it is physical with average 10 rooms in a shift to do

I’m not bored at all. I want to work to take some of the burden off my partner mainly. Also because I have missed out on a lot in life and been very isolated. I just want to try really.
Soon my daughter won’t need me as much plus I have good family support and I am worried my mental health will get worse if I get isolated again. I would also like to do something that gives me some sense of achievement. Parenting is a long game and it can feel like it never gets done. It’s not the same as studying or working to have a sense of accomplishment.

Well this actually details quite a lot of detailed skills and qualifications even without functional skills. I’d definitely look into part time admin or bookkeeping for smaller businesses or even online virtual assistant work if you think you could get used to computer work.

That might be a good way of getting experience, thanks.

I don’t think I would be able for that, but thanks.

Maybe it’s worth looking into then. I think I’d just have to be upfront about being disabled.

I don’t think you’ve read my posts properly.

I do understand this habit of describing yourself and thinking about yourself in terms of limitations. You are trained into it by benefits. I used to be like this too - I didn't go to school and never got into the workplace until I was in my thirties. I was on the sick a long time.

My main advice is to stop telling people all these negative things. I know that on benefits basically your whole job is to complete various forms and interviews describing your limitations and if you are ever positive or try to make change you get punished for that. I totally get it! But it's also a huge trap and to get into work you need to do the complete opposite.

Start to let go of the self concept defined by limitations. This is an inherently limiting way to understand yourself, of course, and it doesn't help you in your life at all. It's a complete head fuck trained into you by the dole. That's not the same as pretending you're superwoman - of course you have challenges - but they're not your identity or your totality.

You can do lots of things. If you can do books that's very helpful. The main thing is to start noticing the ways in which you are skilled and useful, by making yourself useful to others outside the home. My suggestion would be to start by volunteering, because you can set the pace. Find a local organisation that won't be too corporate and turn up and find out how you can help. If it goes wrong a few times, that's ok - all volunteering orgs are well used to volunteers flaking out and won't think anything of it, but you'll start getting more real feedback and data points on what you can do that is useful to others. It will probably be quite a lot of things.

Once you've got more in the habit of interacting with strangers and collaborating on a shared goal, the transition into work will be much easier.

You need to stop thinking about your limitations.
Many of use are dealing with chronic disabilities, ND, depression etc but as focus on the things we CAN do and want to do. We also look to see if there is any areas that we could do if we put some time and work into it, even if it might seem out of reach now.
Ans sometimes you do have to push yourself a little out of your comfort zone. It’s the only way to grow and learn new skills.

I actually wasn’t on benefits for very long. I got disability allowance for a few years but my partner earns way over the threshold so I’ve never been entitled to much benefits.
I think it’s my personality more than anything.
I have persistent depressive disorder so I’m basically constantly mild to moderately depressed except when I go into a major episode. I’ve had three majors. I’m medicated now with no other support and fluctuate between mild and moderate depression.
This has a really big impact on the way I think and even though I realise this, it’s nearly impossible to be able to think objectively.
Even if I tell myself it’s just the depression talking, I can force myself to feel it or believe it. It’s an awful thing, like having a cloud constantly over me.
I do try but it just doesn’t work.

I forgot to say that my depression is treatment resistant. If I’m off meds, I go into a major depression. On them, the best I have gotten to is mild to moderate.
At this point, it is a matter of trying to work around that because it doesn’t seem likely to get any better than this.
I think being a parent makes it a lot harder to look after my own mental health. Stress is the main thing that affects me and parenting is stressful. That then leads to more depression and I’m fighting to keep my head above water most of the time.
I do feel very limited in what I can do. A lot of it is to do with perspective but I have honestly tried so hard all of my life to live my life around the depression and I just can’t see myself or the world any differently.

Gently, this is what everyone is saying to you. You cannot see anything outside of your challenges. Everyone has challenges, and you could understand this as a way to relate to other people, but you are locked inside this alienating perspective.

Honestly, everyone has challenges and many people have much bigger ones than you. My late DH had depression. He also had total paralysis - quadriplegia - and a condition that was pulling his brain out of his skull by his spinal cord. These are big challenges, but one day he met someone who had all that and also had no speech. So there's always someone with more problems just as there are always people with fewer. On some level it is actually irrelevant. This is the life you are living and day to day, what you do is what matters. We aren't being graded against a fantasy version of ourselves who has no problems. We aren't being graded at all. We're all just alive, for no particular reason, and for not very long. This is actually it. So you may as well do something as nothing. The time will pass anyway.

If you think, as maybe you have been taught, that you need to first believe you can do something before you can try to do it, then I can tell you that's not true. That's an overvalued, overtherapised idea. You can just try things. Your beliefs about the outcome are not super important. Try them anyway. Try something even though you are convinced it will never work. Beliefs have a limited effect on reality, it turns out.

Good luck. Good luck! Keep trying! Failing is ok just keep trying!

Agree that volunteering might be a way forward. Cat rescues need helpers, as do Food Banks eg sorting donations etc. Some of the latter will offer you training for dept counselling etc. too. I volunteer washing up for meals for the elderly. My local library needs volunteers. Not only will you get useful experience, you will gain friends, contacts etc that will boost your mood.