What kind of work could I do

[KSera]

Hi,

I have depression, OCD and very bad problems with concentration (might be adhd).

I had to drop out of school because of the above. I then trained as an admin assistant on a specialised course for people with disabilities.
I couldn’t get a job after it though . No one would hire me.

Eventually I went on disability payments.
After about ten years, I decided to try to look for work again.
The employment officer didn’t think I was ready for working so I ended up doing the same course again. Towards the end I had a baby and relapsed.

It is now several years on and I am thinking about trying to get part time work, but I have no clue what I can realistically do.
I am reasonably smart but I obviously didn’t have a conventional education and I’ve never actually had a job before.
I have a primary age dc I’m currently sahm to, so would have to arrange childcare but I want to put that aside and just focus on suggestions of what type of work would suit me.

Here is some relevant info:
As above, crap concentration and I find it very hard to be organised
Generally low mood. Somewhat under control with medication but stress makes it worse. I’ve had all sorts of treatment for years and this seems to be as good as it gets for me
Low confidence
I quite like being around kids but I would be worried working with them would be too hard physically. I’ve got problems with my joints.
I am early forties and very much perimenopausal
I have very low energy levels
I am not great with people. I get on with people ok and am personable but I get totally worn out by too much interaction.

Has anyone got any suggestions as to what kind of work would suit me?
Or opinions on whether anyone would actually even hire me? Maybe I’m just not being realistic.

I second starting by volunteering to get some experience. There are tonnes of opportunities as charities are always looking for volunteers.

Also check what schemes your local authority has for supporting people to find work. They should support you in identifying your skills, interview practice, CV writing and matching you with volunteering roles. This is what my LA offers but I am in a London Borough.

Also look online for schemes offering free coaching or mentoring to support people into the workplace. There are lots of schemes and initiatives like this. I think you could benefit from this to help reframe your thinking as other posters have mentioned.

I’m very sorry to read that about your father. That sounds absolutely horrendous.

I do understand that other people have it harder than I do.
I wasn’t really thinking about it in terms of overcoming personal challenges.
I suppose deep down I am more so worried about whether I actually have anything to offer other people.
I am trying to understand what you’ve said and take it on board.
Nobody has taught me anything or given me any ideas about any of this really. I haven’t spent a lot of time in therapy or anything like that. I did cbt/ exposure and response prevention therapy but not much other talking therapies.
I am very afraid of failure now that I think about it. I don’t know why. Rationally I know nothing terrible will happen if I fail. I’m afraid of being a disappointment to others if I can’t do something, like it would be letting people down.
I have been trying to push myself to do things, like I’m volunteering at my daughter’s school and sometimes mind other parents’ kids for a while after school.

I am much better at looking after other people than myself. I did a lot in raising my younger sibling because my parents had problems with mental illness and alcoholism.
In my twenties I was carer to my mother who was very ill. A few times I actually saved her life, twice from suicide attempts.
I can motivate myself to look after other people’s needs even when I’m severely depressed and can’t take care of myself properly.
Helping other people is really the only thing that makes sense to me in life.
I can be quite confident if I am doing something on behalf of someone else.
I have a lot of experience being around other people with mh problems.
Maybe I could volunteer or look for work in that area.
At one point I was thinking about becoming a peer advocate for people with mh problems. Maybe that is something I could revisit.

I did my work experience for a service that helps people who are insolvent or struggling with debt. I also did a couple of weeks in the Bankruptcy Department. So I actually know quite a bit about this area and I’m sure I could learn more. For some reason I picked it up very easily and remembered it. They were very impressed with me and gave me excellent feedback. I had to give a presentation at the end to my college and got full marks on it. Maybe this is an area I could look into. Thank you x

It doesn't sound like you feel you'd be able to work. You are giving off a lot of negative attributes about yourself and things you can't do. I think it's better to think of what you can. Maybe volunteering could be a good start? Literally just one or two shifts a week to build confidence?

Do you like being outdoors, gardening? You could join a voluntary team who maintain and plant on local parklands? Pick litter etc? You don't really need to good with people to be good with plants.

Accounting work is quite solitary. You could probably get free level 3 training in AAT or similar, but I think you'd need an employer first.

Are your physical issues from a hypermobility disorder such as EDS?

I agree that its easier to get a job when doing something such as volunteering. I too thought about in a food bank or charity shop where there might be roles which don't involve face to face with multiple customers but more in the back sorting things. Do you have a car and drive? Our local area need volunteers to help drive elderly to/from appointments. Supporting admin for a church/charity.

My cousin also had ADHD and had been a SAHM for many years. She trained as a dog groomer, works around school pick up and is booked out. The table is automatic, so she isn't lifting dogs on/off the table. I assume it would be done whilst sitting also.

Maybe not. I have only just started to think about it.
I get what people are saying about volunteering, but the main motivation was to take some of the burden off my partner financially.
I do like to help people, but I have a small kid at home and most of my energy is going to go to her.
It’s not that I’m at a loose end. I am just thinking about what I could feasibly do alongside looking after dd, possibly next year when her school day is longer, so I can contribute a bit (we are really feeling the pinch from COL) and gain some confidence in myself.
Maybe I’m better off just focusing on looking after dd for the moment. I definitely wouldn’t have the energy for picking up litter.

Yes, I have hyper mobility in my joints. A lot of the damage happened when I was a kid/ teenager. It is catching up with me now with age and the fact that I’m in peri I think.

I can’t drive and at the risk of sounding like I’m just being negative, I have no desire to work with dogs or other animals at all.

Thanks to everyone. I really appreciate the suggestions and this has all been very helpful.

The suggestions of volunteer work isn't as a life long career. They can be a great stepping stone to get paid employment either there or elsewhere. Even 3mths shows you are committed, stable and can turn up on time etc.

Have you looked into paid admin support for the various hypermobility charities?

Sounds similar to me and I have ADHD and was a single parent, always worked, I had no choice. Emergency services and then change of career to more admin/investigation roles.

If you would like to work with people with MH needs I would suggest working as a support worker. The role is either inpatient or outpatient and it involves lots of talking to people and low level emotional support, with occasional personal care. My NHS trust (I’m a MH nurse) accepts people with no healthcare experience at all and trains them up. It’s also a much less physical role than you’d expect. You sound really empathetic and I think you’d be good at it, especially with your lived experience 🙂

Yes, I realise that. I am open to doing charity work but not picking up litter etc. I said that in response to a particular suggestion from pp.
No, I haven’t looked into that. I wasn’t even aware that there were charities for this.

Another idea is to do some training/education in the areas you missed at school or to improve on skills you feel you aren't good at. Have you in investigated what courses your local council/library/community centre area run? Depending on your benefits, some courses are free.

I dont know what area you live in, but here are some examples of what I mean:
https://ebsontrackprospect-thc.tribal-ebs.com/Page/FindCourse
https://www.herefordshire.gov.uk/adultlearning
www.northyorks.gov.uk/adult-education-and-training

I wasn’t even aware that there were charities for this

https://www.hypermobility.org/
https://painuk.org/members/charities/hypermobility-syndromes-association/
https://contact.org.uk/conditions/hypermobility-syndrome/
https://www.sedsconnective.org/

Have you spoken to your GP about HRT?

I have no idea about this kind of work but how about something like a youth support worker. I knew a guy once who worked at a youth centre as an assistant and was basically there to be a shoulder to cry on, a ear for listening and someone to play table tennis against. In general just another adult to be in the room and supervise the children but without the responsibilities of organising anything.

Are you taking ADHD meds? They can help with anxiety that's always there and increase your ability to focus

Maybe try charity shop work to build up on being around people. As it's voluntary, the pressure and demand is a lot less. From there, you can look around for other voluntary roles, such as advocacy. These will increase your confidence, give you more for your CV and make you more employable for paid work.

agree entirely re volunteering as an option. Your local hospital will have excellent volunteering opportunities that range from being in clinical areas, to helping people with directions, helping back office staff with stocking up/light duties. Great way to gain confidence and get your foot in the door.

I will look into this for sure, thank you so much.

I remember some people I knew through hospital had support workers who would sometimes just meet them for a coffee or go with them to an appointment or the cinema/ library etc. It made a lot of difference to them.
I am very used to being around people with all sorts of mental health problems and when you are relatively well on a psychiatric ward, you inevitably end up helping people out here and there so I don’t think it would faze me.
It would be nice to do something where I could draw on all of the experiences I’ve had rather than always having to ignore and hide them.
It sounds a bit weird but I actually miss being around other people with mh difficulties sometimes. That’s something I miss from my course. It is very freeing to be in an environment where you can be open about your mental illness and neurodivergence. Other people just don’t understand.
I think part of what has really knocked my confidence is going from a very supportive learning environment to a workplace (for required work experience) where you have to work extra hard to mask and the people don’t get you in the same way. It is such a shock and makes working seem almost impossible to sustain.

That is a good idea. I hadn’t really thought about doing more training but I will definitely think about it and see what’s available.
I’m not actually on any benefits which unfortunately means I’m not eligible to do certain courses etc. I have gotten exemptions in the past though so it’s always worth asking anyway.

Office cleaning is low stress and no one ever moans at you. (Unlike Hyacinth Bucket types)

I don’t think I would like working with young people. My sister works with teens from disadvantaged backgrounds and it sounds awful tbh. I don’t really relate to that age group and vice versa. I would prefer to work with younger kids or adults I think but thanks for the suggestion.

No, I’m on a few ADs and an antipsychotic.
I would need a referral to a specialist for adhd meds and my doctor says it’s a no go unfortunately.
Charity shop work might be good for me. I did experience in one years ago, steaming and ironing the clothes. Thanks.

Thanks for the links. That’s really helpful.

I went to my GP a couple of years ago about problems I was experiencing and she referred me to a gynaecologist. They did various tests and scans but in the end said it was “just” peri symptoms.
They have gotten much worse lately and I have started to think about HRT. I’ll make an appointment to discuss it because I really don’t think I can just go on like this for much longer.
When you’ve already got mental health problems then your hormones go haywire…it’s not good. Plus the physical symptoms are making me low level miserable a lot of the time and I don’t think that’s doing my mood any favours. I had such a bad hot flash last night. It was like nothing I’ve had before, really horrible.

What about being a care professional? You say that you are good at looking after people. Care agencies are really struggling to recruit and you could do it part time.

Or what about being a paid debt adviser for an organisation like Citizens Advice Bureau? A lot of their clients also have mh difficulties and combined with your book-keeping skills seems like a good fit for you. Again it is a role that can be done part-time.

Honestly....I have and read and all I can offer is compassion. Hopefully there are specialised coaches who can help....I am applying and though not official diagnose on anything, still battle various health issues at points in my life, including not being the best at small talk, having people too close to me, people wasting my time and etc

I’ll look into CAB. Although the qualification I have is Admin Assistant.
It’s only very basic bookkeeping and accounting.
I remember someone telling me they have retired accountants and suchlike working voluntarily in places like CAB and debt management agencies and it’s actually quite difficult to compete with that.

I’m not sure about Care Assistant. Is that working with elderly people? I think that seems very difficult.