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Can social services place a baby with family against the mother's wishes?

66 replies

BreezyBrie · 20/05/2026 11:56

My cousin is pregnant and there’s a possibility baby may be removed at birth. She has been NC with her family for a few years. As a teen she had involvement so they are already aware of immediate family details etc.

She is very concerned that if this happens SS will first look to family to care for baby. Is she allowed to specify for this not to happen and she would only want professional foster carers not family?

She did ask me but it’s not something I would be able to do although I’m trying to support in other ways . She is just worried about her mother or one of her sisters getting the baby.

OP posts:
TobaccoFlower · 20/05/2026 12:01

She should definitely try. She should explain reasons why she thinks the baby would be better off not with the family.

BertieBotts · 20/05/2026 12:05

Does she have a social worker? As she should probably ask them and explain her concerns.

Octavia64 · 20/05/2026 12:09

If SS start child protection proceedings and the child is removed then no, the person who the child is removed from isn’t able to control where the child goes.

if there are concerns about other family members then these should be shared with her social worker

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BreezyBrie · 20/05/2026 12:10

BertieBotts · 20/05/2026 12:05

Does she have a social worker? As she should probably ask them and explain her concerns.

Yes and they are doing ‘pre birth assessments’ I think the probability is high for removal given the past issues. I’ve tried to reassure her but I do wonder if family care is cheaper so they’ll be more likely to pick that option?

OP posts:
Error404FucksNotFound · 20/05/2026 12:12

Were the family neglectful or abusive?

bartyfum · 20/05/2026 12:16

To remove a baby, the case would need to be in court proceedings. Social Services would always consider family members before foster care but they have to provide the court with evidence that the family members are safe alternative carers. They would do this through assessments (Kinship Assessments).

Your cousin could advise the Social Worker her concerns and also ask her solicitor to make the court aware of her opposition to the child being placed with her family. The judge would look at the assessments completed and consider the views of all parties (your cousin, social services, baby’s father, the child’s guardian from Cafcass) before making a decision.

SheilaFentiman · 20/05/2026 12:17

BreezyBrie · 20/05/2026 12:10

Yes and they are doing ‘pre birth assessments’ I think the probability is high for removal given the past issues. I’ve tried to reassure her but I do wonder if family care is cheaper so they’ll be more likely to pick that option?

I think family care is preferred if suitable, not sure it’s a cost thing so much as keeping the child in closer contact with their blood roots.

But the family in question would be assessed and if concerns had been raised in the past, these should be on record.

Would the mother/sisters even want the baby? Sisters seem more likely than mother given age.

GuelderRoses · 20/05/2026 12:18

Perhaps the authorities need to know exactly why she is NC with her family, as that reason could have a considerable bearing on the issue.

Octavia64 · 20/05/2026 12:19

Expense isn’t generally a consideration.

SS generally look to place within the wider family first if possible although I’m not sure how much that applies to children removed at birth.

https://www.gov.uk/if-your-child-is-taken-into-care

If your child is taken into care

What happens when a child is taken into care - who is responsible for what, care proceedings, care orders, going to court and the role of Cafcass

https://www.gov.uk/if-your-child-is-taken-into-care

PoppinjayPolly · 20/05/2026 12:22

Error404FucksNotFound · 20/05/2026 12:12

Were the family neglectful or abusive?

This, why were SS previously involved? I’d imagine they’d look at history and if concerns because of family, they wouldn’t be considered at all.

BreezyBrie · 20/05/2026 12:28

PoppinjayPolly · 20/05/2026 12:22

This, why were SS previously involved? I’d imagine they’d look at history and if concerns because of family, they wouldn’t be considered at all.

Psychological issues as a teen, school refusing, severe self harm, shoplifting and various other things. Diagnosed initially as personality disorder then a few years later she actually had a new diagnosis that was meant to replace that (ASD) but both still remain in her medical notes ? She had PND after first child (who lives with his dad this baby has a different father not on the scene). The personality disorder (old diagnosis) is still being treated as current and this is the cause of the concern. I have advised her that she needs to get in touch with the dr who did the new diagnosis plus also maybe the ICO to have her medical records changed to be accurate.

OP posts:
BreezyBrie · 20/05/2026 12:30

NC is due to the fact that she had a terrible childhood and felt unsupported. At the first sign of difficulties she was not supported and she feels that her family are toxic. Knowing them as well as I do I tend to agree and there is a definite theme of sabotage gaslighting and her being the ‘black sheep’

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 20/05/2026 12:31

Could the dad not come back on the scene? Does he know she’s pregnant?

PoppinjayPolly · 20/05/2026 12:32

Was her first child removed? What level of contact does she have with them?

cuppamorning5 · 20/05/2026 12:35

They’ll usually consider family placements first if a child is removed because keeping children within wider family is generally preferred. But your cousin absolutely can tell social services she does not want certain family members considered and explain why.Doesn’t guarantee they’ll follow her wishes, but they do take those concerns into account especially if there are safeguarding or relationship issues involved.

inmyhair · 20/05/2026 12:35

She can voice her concerns to SS about her family but the ultimate decision will be theirs.

As a pp said, cost isn't usually a factor in the decision making.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 20/05/2026 12:39

I presume her family don’t know she’s pregnant if she’s been NC for a few years?

Pandorea · 20/05/2026 12:45

Hopefully she has a good Children Panel solicitor. I’d expect they’d be talking to her about the possibility of mother and baby residential placements as a starting point if ss aren’t going to agree the baby just comes home with her.

Octavia64 · 20/05/2026 13:52

Presume EUPD or similar if she has subsequently been diagnosed with ASD.

it’ll be a long and tricky journey to get that removed from her notes, if indeed she manages it.

it does sound like there are multiple issues here, in particular if her first child is with the dad there are clearly prior concerns about her parenting and this is obviously a live issue if they are even considering removal at birth.

her perspective on her family is unlikely to be unbiased.

she can speak to SS but in the circumstances and with that history unless she’s got substantiated evidence of issues with family members SS are unlikely to place much reliance on her perspective.

RoseField1 · 20/05/2026 13:56

Ideally the parent/s would be in agreement with any family placement, but if a relative comes forward and says they want to be assessed the LA would seek for the court to decide whether they can be assessed and if positive whether the child can be placed with them. The court will prioritise what is best for the child, not what aligns with the parents' wishes so would only exclude a family carer if there were very strong compelling reasons why not. I doubt the court would ever decide that they can't even be assessed, as any issues raised by the mother would probably come out during assessment.

RoseField1 · 20/05/2026 13:57

inmyhair · 20/05/2026 12:35

She can voice her concerns to SS about her family but the ultimate decision will be theirs.

As a pp said, cost isn't usually a factor in the decision making.

Small correction the ultimate decision will be for the judge/court not social services

beeautifullif3 · 20/05/2026 14:57

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SheilaFentiman · 20/05/2026 14:59

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mumofoneAloneandwell · 20/05/2026 15:05

How awful.

The woman experiences severe psychological distress at the hands of her family, and the social services think that handing her baby over to the very people who were involved in this distress is... helpful? To anyone?

The family will use this baby to bully her further.

Op, can you not step in and support the mother in keeping the baby at all?

FoxHedgehogBadger · 20/05/2026 15:12

I don’t know the legal answer to your question. But if her first child lives with his father, and the father of this second child isn’t involved, would she consider asking the father of the eldest to step in and foster the baby? He’s not the baby’s father, but the baby is the sibling of his son and the two children would benefit from being raised together. This scenario has happened in a family I am close to.

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