Why are some girls forgettable?

[nikebros]

Why do some girls or women walk into a room and instantly matter while others may as well be furniture?

Not unpopular exactly but the one people talk over, ignore a bit in groups, don't really notice at school/university/hobbies/meals out, while others get attention effortlessly.

It's not looks orc clothes, I think. Some say confidence but quiet confidence doesn't get attention socially.

So what's the magic?

And, does it even matter to be a bit invisible or forgettable?

It's charisma! One of the most important qualities for getting attention & attraction.

Like any skill it's partly innate, some people are naturally more charismatic - but you actually also can learn to have charisma, if it's something you really care about. There's loads of YouTube videos on how cultivate charisma etc, and they do work

Also my mum and older brother have this quality so I've seen it in action a lot - both loud, charming, charismatic.

I'm naturally quiet but I have learnt to do it, partly through watching them, partly because I decided it was important for progressing at work (I kept being ignored for promotions!) so I learnt to be charismatic - and people do adore you when you do it. I "switch it on" though, if I'm not "on" I will happily be quiet and forgettable.

I think that's fair. Social invisibility is a useful thing to have in your toolbox from time to time.

On the other hand, if I'm looking around for a new friend, I won't be investing considerable amounts of time in trying to discern whether the 'invisible' person is hiding a fascinating personality, so there's that. If you would like more friends, sitting around nodding along and occasionally venturing an inaudible remark isn't going to get you far.

I love this story! Marilyn Monroe famously said she switched it on & off. She used to go for an anonymous wander round the shops in 'off' mode.

It's a rare thing tho
It's only a couple of people I can say are unforgettable
Most people are forgettable lol

I disagree. I have social anxiety and would happily climb into the walls to avoid being noticed if I could. People notice me because I’m attractive — that’s not arrogance or boasting, it’s simply something I’ve been told consistently throughout my life. Ironically, because I’m shy and tend to avoid eye contact, people often assume I’m aloof or arrogant.
I’m also partially deaf, so spontaneous conversation can be difficult, especially when people approach me out of nowhere. My current partner was actually a former manager, and apparently I’d been “the talk of the town” at that workplace for years while I barely even knew anyone there by name. It was the same at school, university, and other jobs.
At the end of the day, people are heavily influenced by appearance, health, symmetry, and basic biological instincts. A lot of human behaviour is far more primal and surface-level than people like to admit. We’re actually very simple creatures underneath it all.

I once knew a man, or at least shared a social circle with a man who kept pretending he couldn't remember being introduced to me before. I think it might be a negging technique?

Interesting

Sometimes it's quite nice to blend in and not be noticed. Being 'invisible' is underrated.