What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

Took DS to a birthday party years back, one of his school friends. The mum came out with a beautiful obviously professionally made birthday cake, we all sang happy birthday, lovely.

The cake went away, the kids all got those cheap supermarket cupcakes with the small circle of pink or yellow icing on. “
The kids were gutted and she “said sorry kids cake was expensive so we are saving it for Jimmys actual birthday next week”

I suppose not stingy as she paid for the cake but I though wtf

Many years ago my father made me pay him back the 11p I had borrowed from him so I could buy a packet of starburst. I'd worked out some money wrong and didn't have enough. I can still remember how he went on and on and on about the fucking 11p.

This was also the same person who called a Macdonalds a 'treat', made it out to be the best thing ever and would then refuse to give us tea that night because we had 'eaten so much' earlier. This was a standard (90's size chips so smaller than today) big mac meal split 3 ways. 1 burger and a piece of bun for each of my siblings and I got a piece of bun and the salad (I didnt eat meat). Oh and he would eat most of the chips anyway claiming they were 'bad'.

Or the time I got a beating for going to the shop and buying the thick sliced bread instead of the thin sliced bread. Because there were 2 more slices of the thin sliced. This wasnt anything nice, it was the cheapest, nastiest sliced white foam.

Funny enough he always had money for his cigarettes and the bookies. Oh, and I've been NC for over 30 years.

Why don’t people stop offering them to her if it annoys you?!

In my first London flat in the 80s, Frances moved out, so we had a move around of rooms... Claire took over Frances's room and discovered that evening that she had taken the light bulb with her... My, how we laughed.

That’s awful-I hope you never buy her one again!

I struggle to believe their. Sure you can’t choose family, but no one would be friends or stay in a relationship with these people!

Or is this another instance of Mners having friends they don’t like and who habitually mistreat them?

No,he was brought up in a solid working class family

He is the youngest by 15 years and very spoilt as the baby of the family

My grandad was a joiner and my granny (who I never met as she died before i was born) was a housewife

They where not minted nor in poverty but had enough to live on and have a nice life with treats

The only thing I can put it down to is hes a very old soul-he couldn't be less materialistic if he tried-the only thing hes ever spent money on is the mortgage,his motorbike,jewelry for my mother and 2 bottles of beer a week (I ended up buying him clothes from the charity shop as there was more seams than fabric)

I could understand it if his parents had counted every penny but they didnt and my grandad (who brought me up,its a long story) gave me everything he could afford (and was very generous with his time and money-if he could afford it i had it)

It's a bit of a mystery and I did tell him that when he goes,the taxman will swallow most of it but all I got back was 'dont be so greedy,ive sorted it out'

Fair enough,and I won't get a penny as im nc with him so im hardly greedy and out for his money (my mother is abusive and he takes her side so I walked away)

He will leave it to whoever he wants with a large slice taken out via the taxman

We went out with a friend that did that. Not only did he steal the tips, he was claiming the meal on expenses!

Have several people who are “careful” shall we say, BIL at a family meal where he counts the bill to the penny between us. My DH started a tip round and he put £5 in, the rest of the family put coins in, on the way out I saw BIL take the £5 my DH had put in🙈 have a retired friend who is very well off who never has more than one drink when we meet for lunch and always goes for a two for one type deal. Had another colleague / friend who was my boss who had a habit of “forgetting her purse”
one thing I cannot abide is meanness 🤨

To be fair about this one, they'd probably legally have to be thrown away if unused, having been out of the fridge for an unspecified amount of time.

It does seem a waste of good food - it's completely different from helping yourself to endless sachets of sugar, salt or whatever to take home, when they could have remained in the pot indefinitely until they were actually needed by diners.

Well, maybe not wrong per se, but really ask for 65p?

Bb

Wow - that's another level still! And did he 'just' claim his own meal, or did you magically become clients that he was entertaining for business purposes... or did he just claim that he ate the lot all by himself?!

I remember a friend who was given money to buy a (quite expensive) book from Waterstones for another friend, and instead ordered it on Amazon (at quite a steep discount) and pocketed the difference.

Please say you didn’t pay 50/50??

I knew somebody who was so chuffed at his genius saving hack. He'd worked out that, by simply turning out the pilot light on the boiler overnight and then relighting it the next morning - so 'only' 60 or so extra tasks to remember every month - he could save £3.62. He didn't even say "Getting on for four quid" - he proudly stated the exact amount!

I’m confused. She offered to ‘halve’ you (split?) the car park fee and you declined. What’s the issue?

You don’t think after a £120 spa day that she didn’t offer to pay towards that the least she could have done is pay for the whole parking fee?

I didn't see it but that could have been my colleague. I earned less than half of him and so did most of my team. We ordered mains and a coke each, he had 3 courses and a bottle of wine, then demanded we split it! We all hated him.

@Melrobbinswannabe No we didn’t and she was furious!

This was also the start of us taking notice of these things and calling it out rather than assuming ‘it would all work itself out’ which is my default.

I couldn’t bring myself to sink to their level of (not) ‘hosting’ so still got skinned alive on that front but at least made it fair when we were up there from then on.

I have a friend who, rather than buy my two daughters a birthday gift, suggests that we meet up and she will treat them for their birthday. The trouble with this arrangement is that at the end when the bill comes, she hands over the cash to cover the birthday girl’s share, but seems to then “forget” to also give enough to cover what she’s had, usually including a large wine!

She’s disabled and still lives with her parents aged 40+, so I think it’s genuinely an oversight for her as she’s used to her parents just paying the bill for the table, rather than badness. She does have some other instances of penny pinching though. Selling me her toys for pocket money when we were kids was one, but we take a generous view because she doesn’t work or get out much.

She does the same for my brother’s kids and he and I just laugh about it and shrug that she doesn’t say anything or think about it.

SIL in the stingiest and her adult kids are turning out very much the same!!
she brings nasty old cheap wine to all get togethers, drinks what we have then takes what she brought (and any unfinished bottles of ours or MIL’s) wine home plus what she brought.
For a big family get together we all shared out who would bring what to the bring and share picnic, and DN was asked to bring the Prosecco. She brought one mini bottle and drank it!
Her son (who earns more than any of us and he likes to remind us all!) sends us links of gifts he’d like all about £50 and gives my DC the free Lego sets he gets from the Lego store. Each year I get 3 mini cocktail cans from Tesco. DH gets nothing as his birthday is ‘too near Christmas’.

I organised a little family hen party thing for my sister, high tea with champagne in a very nice hotel, low key as she's not a big partier.

An aunt of mine turned up pissed from the train journey there, said she wasn't hungry while putting loads of the food onto a bag to take home for her kids, drank plenty of the champagne my mum paid for then when it was time to pay said she'd just put in some tip as she didn't eat any food, meanwhile her bags bulging with sandwiches and dainty cakes.

My mother did the same.
If you were brought up during a war you saved everything reusable. Thats why teabags were never one per person in our house.

She wanted 65p extra from the other five people, which was a whole 13p each!