What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

Not a friend but a colleague.

Went to a steak holder training session and they provided lunch. She took home a doggy bag of all the cakes/biscuits etc as she had “teenage sons to feed”.

She’s a high earner. The “leftovers” would have been eaten by the organisation staff, or likely fed their employees children.

I still cringe as I remember her packing it all up.

I made this post about stingy friends a few years ago-
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/chat/4544157-funny-examples-of-when-people-have-been-extreme-tightwads-tightfisted
If anyone wants any more examples.
I’m glad I no longer see tightwad friend any more & the thread gave me a good laugh 🤣

(Now ex) friend and her partner came to stay for the weekend when we lived in the country before the kids came along so just the four of us. We had been warned by other friends that they had both turned a bit odd over money, despite high paying jobs, lots of messing around with payments in restaurants for group meals, jumping out of shared taxis and not paying etc. We had done flat shares with each of them in college and not found this to be a problem before, so decided to wait and see what would happen and give them the benefit of the doubt. They had specifically asked for a nice cooked supper by me on Saturday night as they "didn't want to go out after the long drive". Asked if they could bring anything to the gathering and I said that a bottle of red wine to go with the meal would be nice. Once the table was laid and I served up they poured the wine but just into their two glasses! DH intervened to say "wine for all of us please!" and their comment was "This is just wine for us since we paid for it!" DH snapped back with - "Well, this is just food for us then since we paid for it!" and took their plates away - so they ended up going out to eat after all (after recorking their bottle of Bordeaux and locking it in the car) We ended up picnicking in the garden with some cider and lots of cackling at the silliness of it all. They left early the following morning after hinting that a lovely big cooked breakfast to see them on their way might be nice. DH guarded the fridge door, we served coffee and toast and off they went. As mentioned before, we had known them separately as friends before they got together, and they had never been like this in our friendship groups then. Oddly enough, once they split up the following year they both seemed to go back to normal again, but we never invited either of them back, despite the fact that they did us a huge favour in that the the result of the giggly picnic in the garden was DD#1!

Not a friend my MIL who when we paid for her and my FIL to come to Dubai and stay with us in our penthouse apartment on The Palm went down with our children to the beach bar and only got herself an ice cream! One of many such incidences whilst they were staying with us!

A friend's husband came to stay for free in our Airbnb after a weekend in the national park we live near so he could rest up before the long journey home. We gave him dinner with wine and breakfast the next morning. He brought a box of leftover biscuits from his weekend. We don't eat biscuits and he'd passed the very local shop selling wine.

A distant cousin I barely know also stayed 2 nights with her daughter as a favour for going through a hard time and brought precisely nothing but was happy to knock back our wine...thus ensuring no further free hospitality, especially as it would never be a reciprocal arrangement.

I am a very big fan of quoting Friends “Joey doesn’t share food” when that happens. If they push, I will give a wide-eyed smile and say “oh, no thank you!” very politely. I’ve only had one or two push back after that, at which point I explain that I am not only a germaphobe, but also I need the symmetry of eating my whole meal due to my OCD. Nobody really knows what to say after that.

I’ve also had people reach for food on my plate (sometimes with a fork) and I’ve smacked a few hands when it happens. And then they get a lecture about germs or waiting for food to be offered & were they raised by wolves?

No idea. I have no children myself and am one of the net contributors you speak of but I certainly don’t consider myself some sort of unsung hero for choosing a different way of life and think my mates with kids need to pay me in sandwiches to make up for the fact their kid has a school place

Took a huge bag of samosas ,left over fron a party ( we all left with huge doggy bags), to
share with my colleagues on our night shift
One woman grabbed the entire bag and stuffed it into her ruck sack and said: "That's the babbies tea sorted for tomorrow ".

An (ex) friend boasted how she'd take the batteries out of her kid's toys when they had their friends round, so they didn't get the benefit of her batteries. I shouldn't have been surprised; we'd shared a taxi a few years before and she tried to give me 50p towards the £5 fare 🙄

It read very plainly - the OP never hinted at expecting her friend to pay 100%

Her kids will be paying her friend's state pension and for all infrastructure and services she uses that has government funding. That's how things work. Everyone it net positive or negative in terms of finances given/taken from the government when they die but you can't wait until death to add it all up and to go back and split bills accordingly

😂Maybe OPs friend will get ill and spend the next 30 years in a coma cared for by the NHS...should the OP go through her bag at the hospital and take a few quid because now her friend has taken more from the system than her?!

To be honest we were shell-shocked over her death so not in a good place to challenge anything, and he was/is quite bombastic anyway.

The money was not important to us, nor to DP's other brother and sister, we were just shocked that the 3 grandchildren she had relationships with were blanked out (the eldest had received her wedding ring years earlier) the two youngest got duvet sets, the great grandchildren (bombastic BiL's grandchildren) got the money.

Interesting it was illegal- I wonder if he knew- I think he would have done as he was a retired (with excellent pension) civil servant who used part of his lump sum to buy an old person's home as his retirement 'hobby'. He sold that at an enormous profit and took up house renovations when that was a trend. Not sure what he's up to now as he dropped me and DP as we 'are not his level'- thank goodness lol

I didn’t ask him to get it! He bought it off his own back because HE wanted to fix it but then refused to because I didn’t have £10 to give to him. There is a long back story which I won’t go into but he was not a nice man and this was one of his many ways of controlling me.

In the olden days, when going to the bar and asking if anyone wanted anything, and it was a case of giving money upfront as we were all skint! After everyone else had put their money into a hand she would place a load of coins, which mostly consisted of copper amongst it all. Person going to the would look, just see a mound of coins (the £1 coin had just come out) and go but be short!

My mate asked me for a cigarette, then brought out his own cigarettes. I asked him why did he ask me for a cigarette when he had his own. He said last week I gave you a cigarette, it was your turn to give me one.😳

An old friend ran a small business. She would only pay the office manager the minimum wage. After 6 months the manager asks for a 50p an hour payrise. Friend says no. Manager leaves. My friend was semi retired and, funnily enough, couldn't find anyone to do a managerial role for minimum wage so she had to do it herself. What it cost her in petrol to get from home to the office and back was way more than the extra 50p an hour she would have had to pay her manager!

I am reminded of a friend's story from years ago. She had been widowed very young, her son was about 2, she eventually remarried to a widowed man with a son of the same age, the boys had a lot to do with them getting together! They had a wonderful life, the boys were the best f friends and both went to Uni and got good jobs. Her son when he was about 30, came round with his girlfriend to announce their engagement, cue bottles of bubbly etc., a couple of hours later his son came round to make the same announcement but his girlfriend looked less than happy to be gazumped on the news, the words 'slapped arse' were later used. The two couples were told they would get a not insignificant sum of money to start their lives together. Her son and his fiance were having a small intimate wedding so they could save for a house, the other bride was up-grading 'her' wedding.

The second son's girlfriend called round a few days later on her own, she thought that as 'her' wedding was going to give their guests a 'better experience' they should get more of the money being given. Luckily her tented wank didn't take place and he married a much nicer woman! Love Jilly Cooper's phrase tented wank for an over the top do.

Oh I’ve just remembered another one, MIL went to a far flung and very expensive holiday destination for four weeks, brought back a single chocolate bar which was famous in that country each for my small children, probably equivalent size to a penguin biscuit, looked like it had come from a multi-pack, and when they opened it she demanded a bite because she hadn’t tasted one before. Despite having had the previous four weeks to eat as many as she wanted she must have bitten off at least half of my youngest daughter’s. I was so shocked I was speechless or I would’ve stopped her. She’s always trying the ‘I don’t want one, I’ll just have a bit of yours’ but we’ve got quite good at shutting that down with an ‘no, that doesn’t work for me’ now.

My sister in law reuses teabags until you can’t taste the tea. Well off…..just tight

My sister and BIL aren’t short of money. Would’ve say their loaded but not struggling to put food on the table.

Never mind you will hopefully have the last laugh when he goes.

We had a leaving do for a girl at work. Bought her gifts, a balloon, a cake and some flowers and all chipped in for her meal.
We all left a generous tip, the food and service were fantastic. It was well over £30.
She made it look like she was putting something on the tip dish, except half of us saw her swipe the notes off it and pocket them. I was sat with my mouth open and she looked at me, smiled, got up and headed outside. One of the male members of staff put another £20 on the plate to make up for it. Sheer CFery! These days I'd have called her out there and then, but I wasn't so confident back in those days sadly!

Your DH is a hero!

My husband won’t stand for that shit either.
He feels zero awkwardness in calling someone out in public.
He says people like that thrive on other people’s politeness and not wanting to cause a hoo hah.

I'd block her way to my plate and say, thanks for offering to help me eat my dinner but I can manage on my own.

Years ago an ex BF dropped 10p on the cinema floor ,we insisted we stay until the lights were fully turned up so he could scrabble around looking for it, staff rushed to help as they thought we had dropped somerhing really important/valuable. I offered him 10p but he wouldnt take it, we split up shortly afterwards..

MIL has NEVER bought DD19 a xmas or birthday present, shes well off has lots of savings , shes moaning that she couldnt get the free solar panels from the welsh government as her pension exceeds 31k pa , she seems to think shes hard up...