What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

I used to visit an elderly gentleman to keep him company for a few hours a week. On one visit he was soaking his feet in a washing up bowl when I arrived. He said it helped soften his toe nails for cutting. Fair enough, I know this to be true. He also said that he always added some malt vinegar to the water as this helped even further. Again, fair enough. But then he told me that he poured the vinegary water back into the bottle, catching the toe nail clippings in a funnel. It saved money on buying vinegar he said. As pre-arranged I had brought him fish and chips for his lunch that day and yes, you guessed it - he proceeded to anoint his chips with the same "feety toe naily" vinegar from said bottle. As we chatted he asked me if I'd like a chip. I politely declined whilst secretly heaving. Just to add that he was far from poverty stricken and was fully compos mentis.

You need to get the app and take the points.

Thats not stingy, that's being savvy !

OK, then, I apologise if I misunderstood. From what you wrote, I gathered that you were leaving one house and going to another - which you were shortly going to be moving into longer term - and you would presumably be passing shops on the way. Which bit did I misunderstand?

I agree that giving somebody 6 sheets of toilet roll is stingy; but it's the kind of passive-aggressive act that somebody might do when they think the person asking is cheeky, to make a point - like when people pay sums that are morally disputed, but technically must be paid, in pennies.

I was the stingy one in uni. Me and my one friend are part of a friendship group of 20 all from school and a few extras we’ve accumulated over the years. Me and my one friend studied medicine. All of our friends also went to uni bar 4 who went straight to work. All our friends who went to uni had all graduated by 22 latest and were all working as all sorts from teachers, estate agents, hairdresser etc. me and my medi buddy were poor students yet every month we would all meet back in our hometown for a meal and a night out. Me and med buddy would drink no alcohol just order a coke or lemonade and pour our vodka we had brought with us in and share a pizza. It actually became our thing. All our friend who are now working order wines, beers, steaks, starters, deserts etc But oh my god every time the bill came everyone wanted us to all equally split so our £10 each suddenly would be best part of £30 or more sometimes. We would protest and me and medi buddy would just pay for ours. Anyway years on and this still gets brought up about how me and medi pal are tight! We wernt tight. We were poor 🤣🤣

Good lord, that is absolutely rank!

Not stingy at all in your case.

With respect, why do people put up with it and not call people out?

I’m sure you have more examples but I don’t think this one is as awful as you think it is. You were a grownup, living away from home. Why should your mum pay your medical bill? €60 is a lot to just give to someone.

Yes i do have more examples, yes i was living away from home but talking to other people their mothers would have been very generous considering they were sick
What would you do if it was your daughter now ? Would you see her struggle would you ?
edited to add that at time she gave no inclination I had to pay her back it was more you need a doctor so I am bringing you no issues I pay
if I had of known or said at time had to pay back would have siad no
I would never ever see any of my family suffer like that no matter how much it costs

I am acquainted with an older couple (very wealthy) who ask their houseguests to reimburse them every time they use a Nespresso type coffee pod - because "they're fifty pence each, you know" - usually only after said guest has the cup of coffee in hand. Most people who know them politely decline the offer of a coffee now to avoid the awkwardness!

The couple in question treat themselves to multiple five star holidays a year, naturally.

I gifted a friend my daughters old bike and other toys and clothes for her daughter... only for a few months later she sold them all and made a lot of money ( l was a single parent) both her and her husband had very good jobs.

Exactly! There's about £90 in my bank currently and I'd not chase someone for 5p ffs. Least of all one of my children!

Someone should have said to her on every night out-have you out £ into the kitty this time or are you ordering your drinks separately?

Oh my God!!

A friend will order and pay the taxi for the eve when we go out as a group, all leaving from the same location. For the taxi home, she then says she doesn't need to pay her share as she paid for the taxi on the way out. Fair enough. But.. the taxi out is before time and half and no multiple pick ups. The taxi home is after time and a half and with multiple drop offs ie a lot more cost wise individually than going there. I'm sure by friend knows exactly what she's doing .. and so do I.

This reminds me of a family member who visited from overseas for a couple of weeks. On a day out they bought a large jigsaw to do with my kids. They all got really into it, but at the end of the visit it was only 3/4 done...so my relative broke it up and jammed the huge box into their suitcase to take home. My kids still remember this years later. 😆

@Roundhands

did you read the bit where the friend staying for free?

are you a CF as well?

That’s gross as well as stingy! Who wants to eat what others have left on their plates especially hours later when you get home.

Most of us still care for our adult children when they are students and would pay for them if we can afford to.

100%. And I totally would, but I could afford to. A few years ago I absolutely wouldn’t have been able to just give someone €60, regardless if they were my child or not.

Obviously, we don’t know the exact circumstances. Maybe their mum is a millionaire on. I’m just saying, on the face of it, not writing off €60 isn’t stingy.

Most people would find the money from somewhere to pay medical expenses for one of their children. Even if it meant selling something precious,
You still have a moral, if not legal, responsibility for children over 18.

I’m sorry your mum couldn’t stand you the cost of seeing a Dr or give you a nice birthday present because you’re her daughter and she loves you. I’d have been very hurt.

Oh my God.

She was getting a free spa day, she should’ve paid for the parking at the very least!