What's the most disgusting thing that's ever happened to you?

[OverlyFragrant]

Let me go first because it happened just now.

My dog, leaning over me as I laid on my side, vomited right over me straight into my ear canal, down my neck and in my hair.

Brand new bedsheets and all.

This is really really bad

Dog sniffed my foot and then was sick on my foot, then I got up and slipped on the sick and landed on my arse (in the sick). To be honest there’s probably more gross ones but this one always stuck with me because I’d just sat down after a long shift at Wetherspoons cleaning up sick and shit. All in all awful fucking day. Started sobbing uncontrollably after.

BTW I don’t know if he puked because my foot was stinky or what, he would sometimes just have the odd random chunder.

3 times spring to mind

Changed ds nappy on his cot top changer, folded his feet up to his head and he had projectile diarrhea straight up my front

Walking along a beach shoreline and managed to wedge my foot into a dead fish head which a fisherman had thrown overboard out at sea - I walked a few steps before I realised I was wearing it like a slipper

On the way to the theatre one Christmas walking across the carpark, I skidded in my kitten heel boots on a squished and flattened dead rat

Oh, this is brilliant! My dogs always do the performative retching thing, which gives just enough time to walk past the door to the garden to get to the inevitably just cleaned rug!

I must say the vomit eating fish did make my stomach turn a bit 😂

Being drugged and gang raped 40 years ago ( im 67) waking up with my sheets stained with urine .
.blood ... faeces and semen.

I had multiple injuries in a car accident which were all a bit nasty but the disgusting one that I would like to warn people about is related to the fact that I had my work ID badge round my neck at the time. I wont go into the gory details but if you want you can Google what can happen when you have something in front of your chest when the air bag deploys. It is a known injury pattern that I don't think is well enough publicised. People have even been killed by their ID badges. Obviously I wasn't, but I am now quite obsessive about not having anything around my neck in the front seat of a car.

My cat used to dribble into my mouth, while I was asleep - she dribbles when she’s feeling affectionate!

DD1 had diarrhoea in the night. She cleaned herself up in the bathroom with the towel on the towel rail. DH is very short sighted. He went and washed his face the next morning. He used the towel on the towel rail to dry his face, without putting his glasses back on….

Took my dog down to Yorkshire for a date walking her through a nice wood , was running low on fuel so stopped about ten mins from the meeting point and popped into garage - paid and came back to car and plonked myself down , the poor dog had produced a huge pile of stinking diahorrehea on my seat which was now soaked through to my bare arse. Met the bloke with a coat wrapped around my waste and had to go and sit in a water trough to clean myself up - he was retching with the smell. Of course I then had to drive the two hours home again but managed to fashion a seat cover from carrier bags.

Putting my foot into my wellington boot and thinking "oh why does it feel all mushy" and finding a dead frog inside it. Nicely rotting and stuck all over my sock.

Probably not the most disgusting thing, but these pet related ones have reminded me of relaxing onto a beanbag on my bedroom floor, only to find myself lying in my cat's squitty diarrhoea.

And, not pet related - waking up in the middle of the night absolutely gasping for a drink. Reached down to the side of the bed and found, to my relief, about a third of a 500ml bottle of Pepsi. Took a giant swig and discovered that my husband had been using said bottle as an ashtray. And yes, I know that was a gross thing to do in the first place. Bloody vile. (This was 25 years ago, he hasn't smoked for most of those years now, I'm pleased to say.)

#1 - I had the cat box on my knee taking him to the vet. Just as DH was parking up the cat pissed all over my legs.

Had to walk into the vet covered in cat pee 🤮.

#2 - Eating walnuts, the Xmas ones in shells. Cracked one open, ate the first half then noticed the whole shell was crawling with tiny maggots. Apparently there is some fly that only lays their eggs on walnuts. Never eaten one since.

When i was a child of about 12 and wanted a cup of tea. we had nearly run out of mugs, so I scrabbled around at the back of the cupboard ( ground cupboard, so just above floor level) and found one which was a sort of earthy brown inside and out ceramic mug. slung in a tea bag without really looking and made the tea. It tasted a bit funny, but I had a few sips. After a bit I thought: this doesn’t taste right, so tipped it out into the sink and there was a dead mouse. Bleurgh!!!!! I have never drunk from a brown ceramic mug since.

Oooooohhhhhh, Grim! Ummmmm……Was there a second date…..🤷‍♀️?! ..

I was bitten by a false widow spider on my foot. The aftermath was…unpleasant.

😂think thats for the best. I have also trodden, barefooted on a slug 🤑

In the cinema, my son sat on my lap and pissed himself. When I asked him if he'd done a wee he looked me dead in the eyes and said 'no'. I had spare clothes for him but not me. So I took him home in cold, piss soaked jeans.

This takes the prize for the WORST
now I feel sick !!!

Went swimming on holiday and noticed a large human turd floating in the sea so I frantically swam away from it. It wasn't until I got out of the water 10 minutes later that I realised that that a partner turd had washed into the cleavage of my swimming costume (I am very big boobed) and become lodged underneath my left breast. It stank and I had no soap to clean myself with on the beach. At that point, I didn't think any soap would ever be enough to clean myself...

This made me lol, dp looking at me, need to show him now 😂

Had an operation on my nether regions and was in huge amounts of pain and constipated. Had a suppository administered and literally shit myself. All over the bed. I hadn’t been for 5 days so there was a backlog. I at least had the presence of mind to ask the nurse to put a pad down.
Then went home and because of the pain I couldn’t move quickly but was on laxatives so shit myself multiple times over the following week (was wearing pads) thankfully not as much as the first time.
An absolutely horrific time in my life.

Fishing the partially swallowed rotting remains of a dead rabbit out of the mouth of my retriever.

Out of interest, why didn’t you go to the docs and get it drained?

I was on a small sailing boat in Turkey, the crew had caught fish along the way for a beach barbecue.

I needed a dump, no bushes or anything to shelter, so I swam out quite a long way, dropped my bikini bottom, & then watched a huge school of fish devour my output.
I didn't eat any fish from the BBQ.

When I was student in a filthy terraced house in Leeds. Made a sandwich with a sliced loaf out on the side. When I was putting it away afterwards I saw something that made me open the bag to check - it was a boiling mass of roaches.

Oh God, poor you.

I had the same thing with my Caesarian scar when DS 2 was 4 months old. I kept going back to the GP saying it didn't feel.right, and was fobbed off. Turned out there was a huge abscess lurking there, which eventually burst open. Green pus everywhere.