Think he just wants a pen pal

[notsurewhattodohelpme]

I’ve been messaging someone online for about 3 weeks now, we have moved to WhatsApp, I enjoy messaging him, but I’m getting bored, I think it’s because I don’t exactly know who I’m talking too, I’ve asked him to meet up, he said yes but we haven’t arranged anything, its like he’s waiting for me again to suggest meeting up. Everyday is the same we ask how each other’s day has been, tv programmes we are watching, the weather, but it’s getting a bit weird, does he want to meet or not, I just don’t know whether to stop messaging.

Good luck with all that then. I would just walk away.

Yeah I recognise the red flags, I guess I was hoping he would be ok but I know deep down he isn’t

Also we was walking up the road and these two drunks passed us, he thought one of them was staring at him, he proceeded to say I hate it when people stare it makes him uncomfortable, I thought well just ignore them, why did he even have to mention them? Did he want to start a fight with them?

What are you persevering despite this man being a walking red flag?

I don’t think I will bother with him, I’m just giving examples of what he did

You don’t ‘think’ you’ll bother with him? What exactly would he need to do to make you certain?

He’s currently on his best behaviour and he’s already shown you he can be paranoid if he thinks someone is staring at him (guaranteed he would have said something to the man if you hadn’t been there, age doesn’t take the aggression away, it just slows it down a bit), and made you wish you could speak to his ex and son. I can pretty much tell you what they’d say, and it’s not the load of old flannel he’s given you. If you do carry on with this walking danger sign, then I strongly suggest you apply for a disclosure under Clare’s Law.

Yes I told him yesterday we are not compatible, out of curiosity I would like to apply for a disclosure, but I only know his full name and date of birth, I don’t have his address.

I’m honestly really relieved for you that you’ve done that.

Yes I think our gut instincts are a powerful thing to have.

Edit: Sorry just seen the updates. Glad you’ve swerved him.

But WHO is he keen on? He’s never even met you, so all you’re doing is building up a false sense of intimacy with a man who is essentially a total stranger.

The key with online dating is keep it moving, chat meet, move on. Otherwise you waste weeks or months in stalemate while you wait to see if anything more comes of it.

3 weeks is long enough to find a window of time for a quick coffee to see if he is who he presents himself as. If you genuinely think he’s interesting enough to bother with I’d send one last message saying it’s been nice chatting but you’re looking to actually meet someone so good luck. And either it will light a fire under his arse or he’ll disappear as he never had any intention of meeting you, because he’s married, fake or in some way not actually available for dating.