Think he just wants a pen pal

[notsurewhattodohelpme]

I’ve been messaging someone online for about 3 weeks now, we have moved to WhatsApp, I enjoy messaging him, but I’m getting bored, I think it’s because I don’t exactly know who I’m talking too, I’ve asked him to meet up, he said yes but we haven’t arranged anything, its like he’s waiting for me again to suggest meeting up. Everyday is the same we ask how each other’s day has been, tv programmes we are watching, the weather, but it’s getting a bit weird, does he want to meet or not, I just don’t know whether to stop messaging.

How was your phone call op?!

Never happened! He said he had a power nap this afternoon after working 13 hours yesterday, he never said this was why he didn’t call, he hasn’t even mentioned the non existent phone call.

Good lord these men are tiresome!

He did send a message last night, apparently he sent it by mistake it wasn’t for me, he wrote “I should be back soon and don’t worry about packing me up. Cheers” I don’t really know what to make of it and to be honest I haven’t messaged him much today.

Aren’t they just, I feel like I will be alone forever.

Sounds like him telling his wife he will be home soon and didn’t need a packed lunch making ready for the next day. It only gets worse OP!

This is what I thought 😂 well he’s messaged and is apparently calling me in 20 minutes, I will dig for clues 😂

Did he call op?

Yes he said he was visiting his parents after work, he was letting them know he was running late, his mum offered to do him a packed lunch for the following day but he said no need.

And have you fixed the date, time, location to meet?

“Back soon” sounds like he lives with his parents rather than visiting them.

He mentioned meeting next Saturday, but we haven’t agreed a time or place yet.

I actually don’t know what to think at the moment, I guess all I can do is meet him and take it from there.

Why not? I thought the whole point of starting this thread and speaking to him was to get advice, clarity, and you didn't fix anything concrete?

We’ve agreed to talk again on the phone to arrange next Saturday

Update on this, he called again last night, he sounds very confident on the phone to the point I can’t really get a word in edge ways, it’s putting me off a bit he definitely dominates the conversation, he has messaged tonight but I haven’t answered I actually don’t know whether too.
Also I have been helping my son decorate his new house, he wants to meet this weekend, but I told him I was helping him, he asked when he moves in, I said in another month, he said well there’s plenty of time, I feel like he’s trying to control things and we haven’t even met, but then he proceeded to say oh well it doesn’t matter if you can’t do this weekend, but he didn’t have to say that in the first place. Am I right to be put off?

I think that your instincts are telling you that this is not the one for you.

This. It shouldn’t be this hard before you’ve even met!

@notsurewhattodohelpme Am I right to be put off?

Completely right. There's nothing BUT red flags on this one. The non-stop talking is a very bad sign, imo. You're right to pick up that it's a dominating style.
Oh well, one to throw back.

I would have been put off ages ago. I don't think this one is worth pursuing OP. A man that dominates the conversation and doesn't give you opportunity to speak is not great.

well we did meet yesterday, date went ok he’s very confident and chatty, he told me he used to drink a lot but has give up now, he had to due to health problems, but then proceeded to tell me his son doesn’t speak to him because of his drinking, I obviously said well if you have stopped why is your son still not speaking to you? He said because he’s listened to his mum to much and basically took her side, but he’s a grown man now surely they work it out for themselves? Also years ago he broke some knuckles due to fighting, obviously I’m thinking is he not telling me he used to knock his wife about due to drink? I don’t know whether to see him again, he also wants me to visit him next time, I would have to catch a train fair enough, but I just don’t know if he’s worth the effort, would these things put you off?

Oh please hold out for someone better! Being alone would be better than this walking red flag! He’s giving you bad vibes so listen to your inner voice and dump him. He sounds like a nightmare - ex alcoholic who only stopped drinking for health reasons, not because he wanted to. Wingy baby blaming his lack of parenting skills on other people. And a temper as well and handy with his fists. What a prince.

It’s confusing as we got on really well, but obviously these things are bothering me, if only I could speak to his son and his mum get their version.

OP, you are not listening. This guy has red flags all over. Is your self esteem low and you think you don’t deserve someone better?