What do you think to the saying your coworkers are not your friends ?

[Whatdoyouthinktothis]

I don’t want to believe it as I’ve made a few good friends through work and I hate

and I find it hard to be all mysterious
i prefer being an open book
but I keep seeing things that say this not wise
and that people are studying you etc

Colleagues are not your friends. The less they know about me, the better.

I strongly believe that you should not be 100% yourself at work. It’s your workplace, not your family or a social event. You should maintain a level of professionalism that means you don’t offload all your personal stuff or say everything that you may say in a social situation.

I’ve met some of my best friends through work, it makes sense that friendships form when you see each other every day and have a shared experience

Why ?
What's wrong with you ?

I mean, I absolutely accept that most people don't form deep and lasting friendships with many colleagues, that last once one of them leaves that place of work, but there is no reason for a blanket rule that you cannot be friends with someone you first met through work.

It’s like any other situation where you’re thrown together with random people for long periods. Some people you’ll like, some you’re indifferent to or dislike — or those you like, some will become lasting friends. Or spouses.

I think it’s a wise saying. It’s not that you can’t become friends with co-workers, some of my best friends are people I met at work.

Just always remember with people who you only see at work - they are colleagues end of the day so don’t over share too early. Make sure you can really trust someone.

One of my friends I have worked at 2 different places with so I know she is 100% loyal.

I can be a bit of an open book and have regretted over sharing to some people in the past.

I also have made friends for life through my workplaces, and I even married one of them!

I’ve made some good friends through work. I left a job nearly 6 years and and still see 3 friends from there regularly.

I also kept in touch with two friends from a job in my 20s until we were about 40, although now just FB friends.

Still see 3 old workmates from my last job that I left a few months ago, inc my manager.

Of course you’re not going to keep in touch with everyone you have worked with abd I have worked with a couple of people who I got on really well with in the office but once I or they left we didn’t really keep in touch. They were still good workplace friends at the time though.
Ne er really experienced backstabbing although I didn’t always trust everyone so kept my counsel around some colleagues. I’ve never worked for a big corporate though so maybe that’s why.

2 of my best friends I met through work. With one of them, We’ve been through 5 pregnancy’s, a marriage, all the drama, breakups etc together. We’ve known each other 21 years, her and her husband are actually together because of me.The other we’ve been friends for 17 years. My work bestie now is a guy who I’ve worked with for 13 years, I know his family, he knows mine, I know the ins and out of his life, he comes to me for advice as he’s not a British citizen and needs it often. We’ve worked solely us 2 in our department with a few added extras along the way.

All of my closest friends are my colleagues but most of my colleagues aren’t my friends.

I have always done that thing where you lose touch when you leave a job but that wasn’t the case with this group of people - I left, kept in touch and ended up working there again a few years later.

Anyone you have to maintain a professional image with cannot be your friend. My friends have laughed with me, cried with me, partied with me, been there for me through traumatic life events, got off their tits with me. None of that is for coworkers.

I'm friendly with colleagues but I'm not my full, true self around them.

I work in a professional job but don’t have to maintain a professional image to my colleagues who are also friends as I’m not their boss.

I keep my distance from most of the people I work with because it’s hard for me to trust and be open. But the colleague/friends that I am so fortunate to have do know me inside out

I work in a professional job but don’t have to maintain a professional image to my colleagues who are also friends as I’m not their boss

Quite.
Well, I'm retired now, but I have colleagues who have become friends, who have supported me at the lowest of lows and the happy times in life. I've never had to present 'an image' to any of my colleagues.

It all depends. I am working with the same people for nearly 18 years now and don‘t consider them friends. We are far too different, not so much age wise but how we live our lives and our priorities.

Also we don‘t live anywhere near each other so meeting out of work is impossible.

We are friendly, we talk about our private lives and will happy share experiences or advice but they aren‘t people I would talk about intimate details or really private aspects of my life.

I am myself at work but I find it difficult to link work people and friends I made through other ways. Work is something I don‘t want to move into my private life so colleagues = friends would blur barriers.

i have met up with people who have left work and it is very hard to find common ground

I met my closest friend in the world through work...I was her manager! However, we are much closer now than we were when we worked together, because I obviously had to still be able to manage her!

That if it's the only advice you ever take, take it.

I'm not friends with everyone I've ever worked with, but I've made loads of friends through work. It seems natural to do this. We're interested in similar things and we have shared experiences and spent lots of time together: good basis for friendship!

I don't really know why it would be a problem tbh. For me in my life I mean. I don't typically have work rivalry issues as I have, er, probably usually a unique role in any workplace as I have such a niche profession.

I don't feel guarded at work because there are behavioural expectations there that might differ from a night on the lash. It's just a mode. In life we have all sorts of modes, ways of being with others, that are all different and all authentically us. There's lots of things I would never say to a child, for example, but I don't feel guarded with them. I wouldn't play tennis in a swimming pool, but I'm not being fake when I'm playing tennis or swimming. It's just a mode.