Have you thought about your own funeral plans and preferences?

[treefan]

Hi all an odd one for you guys today.

Just thinking about my funeral plans to day that is already payed for.

I decided to go for a cremation for myself, no service no faffing no ashes no plaque,
No urn passed to anyone, ashes thrown in the momory garden after cremation.

Letter will be sent to 3 people if they are still alive by the time my time comes, to inform them of my passing.

I chose this way as when i look at graveyeards its sad that some graves have been left alone for decades and i dont want that.

Have any of you lot thought how you want things done, or have you already planned it.

Ive told some people over the years and they look at me as if im mad, no i want a huge send off, family can come visit me in the graveyard.
But what happens in decads to come when they pass and no ones around anymore to care for your grave.

Think we will throw my parents ashes off a cruise ship seeing as that’s where my inheritance is being spent

Conversely, I found it quiet cathartic organising my late husband's funeral He died young, and we hadn't really discussed what he / we'd like our funerals to be like. He had once mentioned that he'd like to be buried, in passing. I ignored that - it was too complicated to organise. None of us are religious, and I and his parents both agreed that had the boot been on the other foot he'd have done what suited him so I should too :)

However, I recognise when I die there won't be anyone as close to me as I was to him left, so I have added a few notes on a piece of paper alongside my will so that my wishes are clear. But they are not complicated or prescriptive about a ceremony, should anyone even wish to hold one. Just to say that I'd like to be cremated, and I'd like my ashes to be interred with my husbands. There's room on the stone that marks his plot to include my name, dates and one line of text - I planned that when I organised it for him. The location of the plot is clearly identified. Other than wanting my ashes to be there, and the stone updated I really don't mind what people do!! There will be sufficient money to cover whatever they like - it'll all come out of the estate and the beneficiaries will end up with a little less 😂

We are seriously thinking of doing this. I’ve had my parents’ ashes since pre Covid, their notion of being sprinkled in the Med wasn’t entirely practicable. It seems you can’t just shake powdered remains into the open sea, they need to be in a sealed container. Cruise ships will allow this, and the Captain may even officiate. So not such a nuts idea!

My mother died of cancer 10 years ago and I was diagnosed 3 years ago, so I persuaded my (very reluctant) DH to go with me to sort out our funeral arrangements and pre-pay for ours in advance. It was horrendous having to make all the arrangements for my parent's funerals and I didn't want DH (if I go first) or my children to have to deal with that. MIL arranged her funeral in advance when she was told her cancer had recurred and it made everything so much easier for her family. My mother left no instructions and we found it very harrowing.

DH was all for direct cremation with no service of any kind, but I told him his funeral was for the people he left behind and not for him, as he would be dead. I have children and grandchildren who adore him and he has a daughter of his own, plus my siblings are very fond of him, so I know they would be hurt if they could not say goodbye to him. He is not religious at all, so his will be a simple non-religious service. I would prefer a religious service even though I won't know anything about it. I would like to know that I am being handed over to the care of God - if that makes sense - so I know he will respect that wish if he is alive, as will my children, even though they are not religious. Neither of us have a lot of friends, but between us we have a reasonable amount of family, so we won't need a huge send off, just something for our family.

Also, I have told my DH that I would like a memorial stone somewhere easy for my family to reach, should they wish to. My father was buried in the churchyard that was local to them at the time, and my mother's ashes were buried with him, but it is an hour away from us and down very narrow country lanes, so I don't visit as often as I would like. Same with my grandmother, although a completely different place. We have a crematorium local to us that is easy to reach, so a simple memorial plaque there would be ideal. Either that, or a plaque in our local cemetery which is, again, easy to reach.

I won't be leaving much, if anything at all, so I took out a Co-op funeral plan. Basic cremation, no extras. I'll have overpaid by the time I kick it, but the point is to make extra sure nobody else has to pay to dispose of my remains.

If they want to share memories or celebrate my life or whatever, they'll sort it out amongst themselves. I think it'd be the height of selfishness to leave them to organise and pay for my disposal, though.