Telling family I've moved?

[A2026]

My partner doesn't want me telling my family Ive moved?
I don't hardly see my famiy as we live far apart so he thinks i shouldn't tell them becuase they don't bother with us unless it suits them.
Should i tell them? He never wants them down and then i i have to make a lie that I'm busy. I feel so stuck :(

Red flags left right and centre here - sounds like he’s trying to isolate you from your family. Did you actually want to move?

Do you want to see your family?

Does he stop you seeing your friends as well?

Have your family actually done anything to harm you or him?

Do you have children together?

@Busybookwormis spot on. 🚩 🚩 🚩

This sounds very dodgy indeed. It definitely sounds like he is trying to isolate you.

Please tell your family you have moved, or even better, don't move with him.

We have a daughter together, we got given a section 21 so had to move quickly.. i do want to see my family, but he doesn't like them as when they do want to see me and my daughter.. all they want to do is do things that cost money. His mum says he doing to protect me from getting hurt. He invites his family as they live close and always been there for us. Can't help that my family live so far away

This is as dodgy as fuck.

Tell your family where you are, and think seriously about leaving this guy.

ignoring all the red flags tell your family. You say they only want to do things that cost money when they see you, are they welcome to come to your house or does your partner not allow that?

Your partner sounds controlling. If you want to see or speak to your family it's your decision to make.

Tell your family, don't let him isolate you. He sounds very controlling, please be careful.

He doesn't want all my sisters comimg together at once, just one at a time

But what do YOU want?

Interesting that he wants to see his family but doesn't even want your family to know where you live.

I think your family must be very worried about you living with such a controlling man.

I just want a day out and have fun with my sisters.. i feel like I've lost myself and just stuck in the same routine so I don't upset anyone

So, do it. Please don't let this manipulative and controlling man ruin your relationship with your family. Everyone on here can see what you can't.

You need your family. Can you talk to them about his controlling behaviour?

I'm sorry you are in this situation.

It sounds miserable and that you are unfortunately in a controlling relationship which is not right.

Do tell your family your new address. They are your family and you do get to communicate with them regardless of what your partner says. I think you need your family.

Can you arrange to visit them? Just you and your child?

Stopping you seeing them or communicating with them is very wrong. I think you know that.

Are you sure you want to continue living like this?

weird, is he planning on murdering you or something so your family can’t track you down? It’s a major red flag op

Red flags 🚩- controlling partner isolating you. Stand your ground and be assertive

From what you've said I think your sisters probably have some strong views about him and he's trying to stop them from pointing a few things out to you, or him.

Tell them where you live, its important. Arrange to see them if you want to. You can go to them, or he can go out somewhere. Dh doesn't always see my family when I do, and that's fine. What he doesn't do is tell me I'm not allowed to.

Talk to your sisters, hopefully they can support you.

I agree with PPs. As a domestic abuse victim, i lnow that trying to cut you off from your family and/or friends is a classic sign of domestic abuse.

Please get in touch with your family. You have every right do it, no matter what your partner says.

Does he do anything else annoying?

Op you talk about what he wants and what his mum says. You want to see your sisters so do it. If he doesn’t ‘allow’ this you have a dh problem. It’s not normal to not tell family you have moved unless there has been a fall out. I would contact womens aid for anonymous advice.

Massive red flags here OP. He’s controlling, he’s isolating you from your family, he’s giving you rules about when and how you see them. None of this is normal, it’s very very worrying.

I have Autism so i find it hard to know if he is controlling me or not. Whenever i suggest anything it does lead to arguments and I'm just tired of trying to say anything incase it leads to argumemts

Definitely tell your family. They will be very upset if you dont. You want to see them so keep up the contact. He doesn’t sound like he has your best interests at heart so far.

This is classic abuser behaviour. He is training you to automatically anticipate what he wants and go along with it to avoid his negative reaction when you do what you want instead.

Autistic people can be especially vulnerable to manipulation from abusers. Do you have someone you trust who you can talk to about this? A friend or family member, or even your GP can be a support while you work out how you feel and what you want to do.

That is also a controlling trait.

Autism or not, you are a adult and able to do as YOU want and don't forget that💐