Embarrassing moment 😳

[ConnieHeart]

Went to a wedding yesterday of OH's nephew. Lots of his distant family in attendance that we hadn't seen for ages. As we were leaving I said goodbye to my SIL's BIL. I wasn't sure exactly how to do it as I don't know him very well so I put my hand out & he shook it(!) & I kind of leaned in for a hug (as I'd hugged his wife goodbye) but it didn't quite work out as he's really tall & I ended up just putting my cheek on the jacket of his lapel and just staying there for a few seconds as I didn't really know how to finish the very awkward move. I then stood back up straight and mumbled "goodbye". There should be a rulebook for how to say goodbye to people you like but don't know very well 🤣

when I was in my first job I had to book hire cars for colleagues over the phone, one being for Tim.

During one of my first tries at booking it, under the supervision of somone, the person at the other end of the phone for some reason couldn’t understand the name I was trying to book and asked me to use the phonetic alphabet.

in sheer panic, I said T for Tim! I died on the spot and hung up the phone and the person sat next to me training was laughing was in tears laughing

Plate glass windows bring back an awful memory. We, OH and I, were getting out of the car and he said something to me, I turned to answer him, tripped on the kerb, fell onto my back and my head slammed into a huge window of a shop. All that was going through my mind was the scene in Ghost where Karrrlll is being chased by ghostly Swayze, falls backwards, slams into a pane of glass and it falls like a guillotine!

I used to work on hot air balloons - niche job and it was great. We had a routine when the balloons landed that we would lift ourselves onto the sides of the basket when it landed so our passengers would have space to hit the sides (often the baskets drag or fall over. It doesn’t hurt or anything it’s just abit bumpy). Our pilot for the day was gorgeous and I’d got to know him quite well. We pulled ourselves up onto the basket sides however my hand slipped off the cage and I fell forward. Face first into his crotch. Over a decade later I still want to die when I think about it

I once asked someone for their pornographic ID instead of photographic.

Also
When I had DD1 I had my cervix checked so many times I felt like a glove so when I was admitted at 38 weeks for a emergency section the student midwife came in to do some checks so I hoiked myself up and pulled my trousers down and nope she just wanted to check my blood pressure.

These may be outing... I was stood at the top of a very steep ramp. I was much younger so wore heels, whilst walking down the ramp i went over on my ankle and instinctively grabbed the man who was coming up the ramp,. However, rather than just put my hand out to balance myself, i put my arms around his waist then fell to my knees, taking his trousers with me. it would not have been as bad if he didn't not have to ask me to get off as i just froze on my knees with my head level with his crotch.

Another ramp.. . I was again at the top, at the bottom a woman and her guide dog we being attacked by a man and his large dog. People were just ignoring it and walking past so I started to briskly walk down to help. Unfortunately I got up too much momentum and took both the man and woman and their dogs out.

I once bumped into a mannikin in M&S, thought it was a real person and said 'ooh sorry' then realised it was a mannikin so turned to the person I thought was behind me and said 'silly me, apologising to a mannikin' to yes, you've guessed it, yet another mannikin! Someone nearby who had overheard was doubled over with laughter. I blame peri.

🤣🤣🤣

About 10 years ago I was out shopping in town when I saw someone who looked really familiar. I couldn’t quite place her but thought (for reasons now unclear) that she was one of my mum and dad’s friends. I said hello and started chatting to her about my parents, giving her a detailed run down about what they had been up to recently. As I was well into my monologue it suddenly dawned on me that this was not one of my parents friends, and was in fact Gail Platt from Coronation Street. Totally mortified I made my excuses and ran away as quickly as I could.

Oh god just remembered...
Stopped to get petrol. For context I am a white woman with a Surrey accent.
Paid.
Said, and to this day I do not know where this came from, "Cheers bossman". In my normal accent.
The guy just stared.
I scuttled off to me (basic middle class white girl) car and slowly died.

it would not have been as bad if he didn't not have to ask me to get off as i just froze on my knees with my head level with his crotch.
Oh, that's even worse than mine! In the Lower VIth physics classroom I dropped my pen. As I bent down to pick it up the teacher, all of about 25 years old, was walking down between the desks, wearing a fastened lab coat, and my very long hair wrapped round a lower button. With my head rammed into his crotch, I didn't want to try and loosen it because of where my hands would have been, he tried very gently but unsuccessfully to free it to a chorus of 'Go on JudgeJ, cop a feel' and others offering to cut my hair. Eventually someone managed to free us but I was never allowed to forget it.

😂😂😂😂

My old job forced you to spread your annual leave out across the year. I ended up with a random week of leave where I hadn't planned anything so decided I would just have a week of doing whatever I felt like. The local cinema used to do really cheap Early Bird tickets for films that started before 10.30am. I decided I'd take myself to see an early film, knowing the cinema would be pretty much empty at that time. I purchased my ticket and entered just as the trailers were coming to an end. The whole place looked empty so I decided I'd head up towards the back for the best view. As I was ascending the stairs up the aisle, the screen went black between the last trailer and the screen showing the certification for the film. I couldn't see what I was doing and, fearing I was going to trip on the steps, sat down in the nearest row. Got the fright of my life to feel I had sat in the lap of a man, sitting at the end of the row. He didn't say anything so I apologised and mumbled something about it being so dark in there. He made an awkward noise and, as the film started and there was enough light to see again, I went up to the very back row and the seat right at the farthest end. I could see now that we were the only 2 people in there! I felt like I was holding my breath for the entire film. It was so awkward. When the film finished he left quickly and I waited for the credits to finish rolling to make sure he was long gone before I left.

I did this to a newbie at work

He smelt sooooo good,I had to tear myself away a few times

I did ask him once what he wore and he said it was Hugo boss

The poor lad was young enough to be my son-he did find it funny that i'd follow him about just to sniff him

He left about a year ago and unfortunately the same aftershave doesn't smell nice on dp

I once grabbed my male boss in the genitals! We were walking through the building together, me in front of him, when I stopped and turned suddenly, as we’d forgotten something. He, of course, keep walking, and I had his entire ‘package’ in my hand!
I was horrified ( and I’m a good 20 years older) but to make it worse, he just squeaked “0h!”
Im cringeing now and it’s many years back.

In anticoagulant clinic for dvt and in a wheelchair as couldn't walk. Mum accidentally pushed me into a wall, hitting the dvt leg and I said rather loudly "jesus fucking christ!!!" I look up and there's a nun, side eye glaring at me.

Reminds me of 19 year old me, late 1980s, Christmas Eve, friendly office, young people all working in IT. I was in the Deputy Managing directors office fixing his faulty monitor. Lovely man, in his 60s who always reminded me of my own dad.

When it was fixed and it was time to leave the office, he kind of opened the door for me to leave with one hand and extended his other hand to usher me out telling me to have a good Christmas. For some reason my brain interpreted this as a Christmas hug and straight in I went for the hug 😳.

Mid hug (a fraction of a second, but felt much longer) I came to the sudden realisation, he wasn't hugging back, he was standing there rigid in shock, the arm movement was a friendly goodbye and yet I am still here hugging him............wtf do I do now. Stepped back, went bright red, said erm Merry Christmas and left sharply!

Got back to my own office sat down obviously looking shocked, boss asked what's up? I said, I think I just molested Neil Smith! (name changed).

I worked there for another 20 years and never got to forget that one!

A possible Classics @Mumsnet?

Years ago,I was training to be a hairdresser

You need a hell of a lot of friends/models to train on-all good

I'd been there about two weeks and needed models for a blow dry

I was also knackered as id been up most of the night with a poorly dd

So I put up a status on fb along the lines of 'I need a model for a blow job next tuesday-can anyone help me out?'

I turned my phone on silent and crashed out

You can imagine the comments I got when I woke up...

Never lived that one down

I laughed at the wheelchair anecdotes, but am I the only one thinking - next time you're pushing someone down a slope in a wheelchair - GO BACKWARDS!

Walking through an open plan office with my then boss, who was a few steps behind to my left. I turned my head to speak to him and as I did so didn’t notice the man-from-finance coming towards me. Cue my slightly swinging arm meant I was perfectly timed to cup his testicles with my right hand. Turned round in horror to see man-from-finance wincing in pain and my boss doubled up behind a pillar pissing himself laughing.
To this day I still put my hands behind my back when I walk past people

I once groped my husband’s bum in the shop - it was not my husband’s bum 😬

This was as mortifying as the cinema incident but at least in the cinema the darkness hid how red my face got. Anyway, I had a period where I had severe IBS and had been passing blood so was scheduled for a colonoscopy. Because the IBS was so bad, the laxative preparation just continued to have its irritating effect on my gut for days and days afterwards. So, despite being all cleared out ahead of the procedure, any water I drank was literally running right through me. Between darting off to the toilet next to the waiting room, I got talking to an elderly lady who was there with her friend for moral support. They had broad country accents (teuchters, for anyone else from the North East of Scotland) and, between the accents and the concentration required not to shit myself, I was struggling to follow the conversation. One of them asked me "what are you here for". I thought it was a bit forward but proceeded to tell the ladies about my symptoms and that I was here for a colonoscopy. I had assumed we all were so I did think it an odd question. The 2 ladies looked very uncomfortable and the one that had asked the question said "no dear, I asked where ye came frae" (i.e. where are you from).

I thought that was my embarrassment over for the day but how wrong I was. During the procedure it become more and more painful. I had been given intravenous sedatives, muscles relaxants and pain killers but none of them seemed to be doing anything. The doctor carrying out the colonoscopy said he couldn't give me any more and they would have to abandon the procedure because I had a kink in my bowel and the camera wouldn't go round it, no matter what they tried. I was wheeled to the recovery ward and told I would need to stay in bed until the effects of the sedative wore off. All the other ladies in recovery were out for the count but I was wide awake and not remotely sedated. The combination of the air they pump into your bowel and the after effects of the laxatives had me desperate for the loo. I managed to attract a nurse over and told her I REALLY needed to go to the toilet asap. She said I couldn't as I had been sedated so she could get me a bed pan or a commode. I asked for the commode. Because of the supposed sedation she insisted she supervise my transfer from bed to commode and that the commode had to be used at the bedside with only a curtain around for privacy. As soon as I sat on the commode I started passing all the air they'd pumped into me plus water and mucous. The sounds were unholy! Luckily I wasn't too worried as the other ladies were so out of it with the sedation. What I hadn't bargained for was the consultant throwing back the curtains whilst I was perched on the commode and proceeding to give me a summary of what they'd seen and what it meant, all whilst my arse was going ten to the dozen and I could do nothing to stop it. Mortifying.

Several years later I was working in that same hospital with 2 older male colleagues. We walked past the colonoscopy cleaning lab and they were making joking comments about having that as a job. I decided to tell them (goodness knows why) about having had a colonoscopy and they found a kink in my bowel. Well, the two "mature" male colleagues couldn't stop laughing about me having a bowel kink 🙄. Never lived that one down...me and my kinky bowel.

Very recently, singing away to myself - songs from Grease, for some reason - while getting ready to leave the house. "You're the one that I want, ooh ooh ooh!" I trilled, as I opened the front door - only to find the postman standing outside.

@JudgeJ hope you are okay. That must have been bloody scary!

I did this once! Was trying on clothes in Zara and my boyfriend was in the next changing room. I finished and stood next to it waiting, he was taking bloody aaages. So I put my hands either side of the curtain to sort of tickle him and said ‘let’s have a little look at this pretty boy‘ in a stupid voice and this guy inside who I didn’t know gave such a shriek and I was so horrified- I apologised profusely and turned around to see his girlfriend behind me doubled over, completely cracking up and pointing at my boyfriend who was calmly queuing up- thankfully she’d seen the whole thing so could explain I presume but I also just fled…