Embarrassing moment 😳

[ConnieHeart]

Went to a wedding yesterday of OH's nephew. Lots of his distant family in attendance that we hadn't seen for ages. As we were leaving I said goodbye to my SIL's BIL. I wasn't sure exactly how to do it as I don't know him very well so I put my hand out & he shook it(!) & I kind of leaned in for a hug (as I'd hugged his wife goodbye) but it didn't quite work out as he's really tall & I ended up just putting my cheek on the jacket of his lapel and just staying there for a few seconds as I didn't really know how to finish the very awkward move. I then stood back up straight and mumbled "goodbye". There should be a rulebook for how to say goodbye to people you like but don't know very well 🤣

Thank god it's not just me. I swear I never used to have this problem. I could member faces, but not names. Now I couldn't pick out dh in line up ( well not quite that bad yet).

It's like a little kid being surprised to see a teacher at the supermarket.

"But Dave, you only exist 9-5 and in the office!" I still kick myself and mutter "you utter twat" when I think about it.

😆

I had to spell something out once and said N for .... Nincompoop

Not a word I use so no idea why I thought it was the right thing to say for N!

omg this is all too funny!!

I’m still recovering from an extended family Christmas Eve dinner at our local posh pub a few years ago. The waitress brought out water for everyone in local-made pottery vessels… yes I basically stared at her and bellowed “NICE JUGS!!”. Oh the embarrassment. She was very nice about it. My family collectively wet themselves laughing. Apparently I sounded very sincere and very enthusiastic.

Two. Well shitloads because I'm me, but ...we'd not long moved into our first house and not got curtains up, but we werent overlooked so no rush. Until one hot morning, dh had gone to work, I was sleeping off a hangover and lying in bed, starkers having thrown the sheet off. Then I heard a rattle and looked up to see the top of the window cleaners head rising up. He knew I was there and I could see him desperately looking at the top corner of the window. I kind of rolled off the bed away from the window, onto the floor and stayed until hed gone. I made dh pay him until we moved.
Then another day I was waiting for a bus, but it was snowing heavily and they were being cancelled. I was standing with two girls i vaguely knew. It was apparent we were stranded so one of the girls went to the phone box and said, I thought to both of us, "I'll sort a ride" I stupidly assumed she meant taxi and she was talking to me too. So when a car pulled up and they jumped in, I did too. Driver looked confused and said "oh are you coming to ours" weird thing to say I thought so said "oh thats kind of you" silence. He drives off and starts chatting to the girls. I realise its their dad. He pulled in to get petrol, so i said, oh actually id best go home, thanks, bye and did a runner.

I’m not a native speaker and always have trouble with thinking of words that start with the right letters in the language I’m speaking. I’ve been known to come out with things like, “K for cat,” “O for elephant,” sounding completely unhinged but it makes sense in my head where two languages reside 😂

It’s fine. I once accepted, and took hold of, a bouquet of flowers in a friends partners hands. They weren’t for me. Why would they have been for me? 🙂

I fell over on the ski slopes wearing my lovely new vintage '80s ski suit and was rolling around trying to get back up (not as easy as it used to be) when I heard a ripping sound and felt the cold Alpine breeze up my backside. My trousers had split. I had to ski all the way back down the slopes (we were a good few miles from the car park which meant navigating several chairlifts) with my pants on display and my trousers flapping out behind me. It was an all-in-one so I couldn't even wrap a jacket around it to hide it. A few people said 'did you know...?' only for me to snap 'yes I know!' Absolutely mortifying - although possibly even more so for my 16-year-old son, who was with me.

I went to kiss a colleague on the cheek at the end of a function and got her neck by mistake. She shot back in alarm. Am pretty certain 20 years later she still thinks I'm in the closet.

I met my new boss for the first time in-person at a party. He was sitting down. I went over and held out my hand for a hand shake. But he stood up as I held out my hand and I didn't move my hand with him. So I ended up lightly brushing his knob with my fingertips as he stood up and slightly stepped towards me.

So that was nice.

I read it out as I was chatting to my mum on the phone, who’s in a wheelchair, and she laughed.
FFS stop thinking that you can speak for someone in a wheelchair.

I have so many. One of the worst was when DS 4 decided to run down bowling aisle after the ball. I chased after him, not realising the aisle is greased and cut a long story short as I said down the alley my trousers fell completely down.

Mortified.

I'm speaking for myself and nobody else.

I was in a club, drinks had been had. I decided to go to the toilet when I noticed the girl walking towards me had a smiliar necklace to me. I stop to compliment her telling her I love her necklace and have the same one.... only to realise I was talking to a mirror and that was my necklace (and me wearing it!)

Eh? So is my mum allowed to laugh or not?

See my previous statement. ☝️🤷‍♀️

That made me laugh out loud. Thank you. Cheered me up.

Like a budgie!

I remember a poster here years ago running into her mother when she was in a shop. It was actually her own reflection 😭

20+ years ago I ran a charity event with a couple of celebrity supporters attending. One was the footballer Joe Cole (he was lovely and so was his dad, who came too). The other celebrity hadn’t yet arrived and I was explaining to Joe Cole who she was. I said she’d been in Eastenders recently and she (meaning her character) had run off with Robbie Fowler. Joe Cole looked utterly bewildered and asked “Robbie Fowler???” like I’d said the most inconceivable thing imaginable.

Several hours later I realised that I meant the Eastenders character Robbie Jackson. There were many many characters in Eastenders called Fowler - but Robbie Fowler was not just a real person, but was also Joe Cole’s England team mate. The shame.

My dad was from a different Country and I was born in the UK, I never did learn his language.

He went missing one day (bad ending but not the point of this thread) and he was last seen in his home Country so I emailed a few places related to missing people, I used google translate.

I started getting replies and they all seemed a bit off and abrupt so I put their replies into google translate and they all said basically the same thing 'Sorry we can't help you with this'

Something made me copy and paste what I had sent them into google translate and instead of saying 'my dad is missing, I have been looking for him for many years' It actually said 'My dad is gone, I have been sleeping with him for many years'

Phew that was a close shave! 😂 That is just the sort of situation I have been in!!

I was on an overnight bus once, sitting next to the window. Huddled with my cushion, blanket, sleep mask and ear plugs, I hadn't realised that the bus had stopped at a station to pick up passengers. Went fumbling for my bag for some moments before I pushed my sleep mask up and saw that I was groping the thigh of a man in his twenties who'd sat down next to me. Of course I pulled my mask back down and turned away as if nothing had happened.

Don’t! This one made me lol again when I’d only just stopped after the wheelchair one 🤣. Made me think of father Ted kicking bishop Brennan up the arse 🤣🤣

You clearly aren’t, or you wouldn’t be haranguing other posters.

Years ago in the 80s I had a big coat with shoulder pads and went to a Chinese takeaway. While standing in the queue I felt a bit uncomfortable and a coat hanger fell out of my coat and clattered across the room. There was a silence and everyone turned to look at me so I just ran away. I never went back.