Has anyone discovered a meaning of life?

[Confucisous]

This is obviosy peri talk while HRT is still kicking in... But with all major milestones ticked off, I am just keeping busy until death, or that is what it feels like. I do all the right things (exercise, travel, work, socialise) but it all feels like finding something to do. If the point is to enjoy yourself, then I would just drink tea and eat chocolate all day. Does anyone else feel like that, that they are just getting through each day without any bursts of joy or much feeling about anything reallly? Is this contentment or depression?

More seriously, OP, that is the opposite of contentment. Contentment is about feeling a warm sense that life is good, an inner wellbeing.

When I first hit peri I was really numb and kind of miserable.

I found my solution with starting small. I started a list on my phone of Three Reasons To Be Cheerful that I filled in every single day. It could be a nice cup of coffee, or that I heard from a friend unexpectedly, it could be the smell of bluebells on my walk to the post office.

Getting into the habit of looking for happy things meant I found far more of them. I can now catch myself feeling blah and redirect my thoughts to all the wonderful things around me.

If you want a really easy way to do that, download the free Merlin app to identify bird song. It's incredibly cheering.

I'd start with Baron Bigod once a week and move on from there.

Cheese really is the best food humanity created. Bloody marvellous stuff.

This is the answer I was coming to see if anyone had posted! Thank you.

I asked that question in my 20s, Finding the Bible taught me what it is. FOR ME, it makes the most sense. I do not believe we are here for "nothing" the human body and nature are just too intricate and wonderful of a creation, then... enters Sin and human downfall... Think of all that what you will.

My relationships with other people.

Having a nice time as much and as often as possible.

The contribution I make.

And yeah, cheese. And chocolate.

I'm not in any pain. I mean in regular pain, and every now and then I stop to appreciate that. I know it sounds daft but there are people living with chronic pain. It really is as simple as counting your blessings, or no, actually celebrating your blessings.

What gives me meaning and purpose is connecting to other people, whether that’s my DC, family and friends, people I work with or a neighbour on the street. That makes me feel like there’s something bigger than just me. I am also changing career to something where I can see I am making a positive impact, that really matters to me.

You just sound bored OP. When was the last time a sight took your breath away or you had a good belly laugh or finished a challenge you didn’t think you could? Those are all things that make me feel alive.
I think this is why so many women are cold water swimming - you could tick all three of those boxes in one morning.

That's an interesting insight for me.

I didn't have children precisely because I didn't feel the need to have them. Life already felt enough. There was already enough of a point without them.

I've had several jobs and I've absolutely loved them all. I met some great people, many have stayed lifelong friends, I've learned so much about different sectors of society and the work was always so interesting and challenging without being too hard or stressful.

But, there came a point in each job where it became less interesting and that is when I moved on. From the police service to the nhs to working in schools and volunteering, I've had a fabulous working life.

Keeping things fresh and new makes them exciting. This is why little children have so much joy, because everything is new to them. Maybe this is your chance now OP, to step out and do something different, something that you're curious about. Every second of your life is a choice.

I was diagnosed with a cancer that is ‘treatable but not curable’ 2 years ago. That means basically I have a 50-50 chance of still being here in 10 years to see my youngest hit 18. The doctors can promise to keep me alive as long as possible (I’m on treatment option 2 of 3 at the moment as the first one sorta worked but not fully). It may be I live to see 70 (currently 45). But lots of people only live 3-5 years (I’m already 2 years in).

Let me tell you, being faced with the flip of a coin possibility that you may die before you’re 50 puts the meaning of life in sharp focus. Imagine you only have 5 years left. What would matter then?

For me, it’s been my kids. It’s been being present for them. It’s been rest and looking after myself. It’s been wanting us to experience things together that they will always remember, core memories. I want to go on a safari with them! I want to take them back to the Asian country where dh and I were working when we first met. I want to finish the series that did and I watch together that’s ‘our thing’. I hope she will have a daughter to watch it with one day. I want to spend time with dh so he doesn’t feel like he took us for granted when I’m gone. I want to retrain if I can and have a fulfilling career doing something meaningful that fills me up. I’d like walk another Camino, a longer one this time. I want to instil my most important values in my kids.

I think everyone should live life like they don’t have forever. It brings a lot into focus that wasn’t in focus before.

Studies have shown that being involved with something bigger than yourself helps people feel more fulfilled.

I think any volunteering that focuses on helping people or animals/nature or the environment can meet this criteria.

Maybe think about when you enjoy doing and see how that could contribute to helping someone/something in some way?

I enjoy young children and have 3 "honorary grandchildren" I help with each week.I don't have any children myself. I feel I'm contributing to being part of a village, supporting parents who are very much under pressure and contributing to raising the next generation. It means a lot to me to be able to do this.

You just sound bored OP. When was the last time a sight took your breath away or you had a good belly laugh or finished a challenge you didn’t think you could? Those are all things that make me feel alive.

I don't understand how you can analyse this in terms of @Confucisous "just sounding bored".

She has asked about the meaning of life.

Your response of a good belly laugh or a sight taking your breath away making you "feel alive" is bizarre. What is the point - or greater meaning - of you whoever you are having a good belly laugh??? Where is the purpose of meaning of life in that - beyond entertaining yourself? You could sit at home all day on your own watching TV that makes you laugh or with beauty of nature in natural history programmes - that doesn't give you or your life any meaning at all.

Being bored is not the issue. Being bored or not being bored spectacularly misses the point.

I repeat what I've said above there's no meaning to life. All you can do is try to help others and leave the world a better place in any way you can by helping others or whatever is within your personal, intellectual and financial scope. Not by pissing yourself laughing or wondering at a pretty purple moutain.

All you can do is try to help others and leave the world a better place in any way you can by helping others or whatever is within your personal, intellectual and financial scope. Not by pissing yourself laughing or wondering at a pretty purple moutain @truelyscump No, that’s what gives your life meaning. For that poster, belly laughing (ie, finding the humour in things) and challenging herself is what gives her life meaning. And your way of doing things is not superior or more valid than anyone else’s. The point she’s making is that the OP has to find what works for her.

I like this :
“What is success?…
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Connect, love, grow.

There is no "meaning of life", obviously. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself, in the brief time that you're here.

Had to chuckle at the number of posts when I opened this thread - 42 😉

Yes, peri has a massive influence. It can really mess with your head and your motivation. Once out the other side, life doesn’t seem so grim. OTOH your body doesn’t necessarily keep up with your head after menopause 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve always said that the meaning of life is to find out the meaning of life. Always be curious, try things, taste things (not just food), keep an open mind. Don’t worry too much about what life means right now, look forward to what might come. Of course, what might come might be absolute 💩 - but you never know, it might also be 🧁. Be open to the possibility of cake.

The meaning of life is love ❤️

This is hilarious. You deliberately missed out the first sentence of my post in which I said " I repeat what I've said above there's no meaning to life.". & then waffle on that this is what gives MY life meaning. There is no meaning to life. I am not saying trying to help others does give meaning; I've expressly said there is none. This is the best you can do.

The question about 'a meaning' of life is a objective and serious existential question. To reduce it to 'this entertains me' is just subjective nonsense. "How you can enjoy your day" by having a good laugh or admiring a work of nature is not shedding any light on what is the overall significance or purpose or aim of an individual human life. It's no different from saying getting really drunk is the meaning of life - because plenty of people will enjoy that as much as looking at a snowy mountain or having a laugh. It's utterly meaningless objectively.

Well aren’t you just a little ray of fucking sunshine?! 🙄.

The meaning of life, and the concept of giving your life meaning are two different things. You were being really unnecessarily nasty to someone who wasn’t talking to you, wasn’t bothering anyone, and who merely gave her opinion on what got her through the day and made her life better. I don’t really understand how that fits into your ethos of helping others and trying to make the world a better place, but if your response to that poster, and to me, is any indication of how you go about things, I’d say it needs some work.

I think a meaning of life is to be you; authentic.

It sounds like it should be so natural and easy, but is actually a huge achievement to manage.

I think this helps with feeling content.

I also like the way you worded the question.

Oh dear

I don’t think life has any meaning. I think there was a random Big Bang about 14 billion years ago and then the Universe and everything in it took shape. Then life started, because it could. And those life forms evolved and humans came into existence.

We’re just animals like all the other animals. There isn’t a reason or purpose to our being here (our purpose, if there is one, is to reproduce- not to say everyone has to or can, of course).

Some people find or create their own meaning. Many would say finding love/spending time with family or friends/engaging in useful work…. Keeping busy and making a positive impact on the planet and other humans and animals (or at least avoiding making a negative impact).

That’s the way I see it all really. Helps me to feel ok about finding things tough- because life is a struggle- look at the animal kingdom- they’re all just trying to survive. There is no human right to happiness or success. Some people find those things, many don’t.

I try to take pleasure in the moment. Feeling grateful for living in a safe country where I can afford to eat. Grateful for finding a partner who wants to hang out with me for decades. Grateful (but also guilty) for bringing into existence two lovely humans.

Oh and dogs, I’m more grateful for dogs than anything else really.

OP I was going to suggest people, family, friends, connections but the recent posts have made me rethink 😂

I suppose the continuation of the species. Not necessarily by your own reproduction but by nurturing the next generation and the planet 🤷‍♀️