Just to say up front this isn't me looking for a pat on the back for not hating or anything like that. It's just something that happened to me and I thought I'd share it and see what you think of it or if you've had something similar happen.
I've contributed snippets here and there to threads about a horribly abusive relationship that I was in. Towards the end, the 'discard' phase began. His mask had slipped so far there was no way he was ever going to trap me at that point. He knew it and said as much several times. I knew it wouldn't be long. He was cheating. I knew but he thought I didn't. I felt it was safer to let him think he was humiliating me and cheating under my nose etc. and let him do the grand finish with me as he swept his new victim in.
It went down as expected and of course they were married 4 or 5 months later. Lovebombing was hideously successful with her. I saw their grinning faces on the wedding photos on facebook. It was the first time I'd seen her and I thought, marry in haste, repent at leisure.....
When the hurt was healed and I was able to look back objectively I realised I didn't hate the woman who stole my fiance. She did me a massive favour. Oh did she get more than she bargained for with him. Over the years I started to feel a bit sorry for her. I knew the life she would have behind closed doors. I often wondered what she'd think if she knew I let them get away with it as it was my ticket out of there.
I've recently discovered that they are now divorced. I actually felt a bit relieved for her. Yes she was a tramp shagging someone else's partner. At the time as far as she knew she was destroying my relationship and felt no guilt about it. Despite that, she was exactly what was needed or that could still have been my life.
So Tracey, if you're out there. I'm glad you met him and gave me my life back. Next time you fancy someone else's fella just remember there might be a reason the wife/partner turns a blind eye.......