While sitting on the tube

[MyBlueFinch]

What have you observed while sitting on the tube.
I have seen people applying full make up, a mother using her saliva to wipe her child's face, a large dog sitting upright on a seat, back pack placed on a seat etc

Young woman sat across from me in a busy carriage, she took a bottle of perfume out of her bag and sprayed herself at least half a dozen times, everyone started choking. everyone left the carriage at the next stop.

Unfortunately, the kind of person committing this kind of crime often also gets off on the humiliation/publicity angle of it all

Someone jumped on, unfolded an ironing board, pulled a shirt and iron out their bag, mimed ironing, and then jumped off again at the next stop.

😦

Not on the tube, but on the Isle of Wight ferry, I saw a man eating 2 whole cucumbers like they were bananas

Not myself but in paper reports. During Covid a man with a bin over his head before the Covid vaccine was invented. With holes cut out for eyes of course.

A girl wearing an impressive silver outfit, Paco Rabanne style, gobbling like a turkey.
She seemed safe, by the way, she was with her girl friends, they all looked happy.

On the Tube I’ve noticed the same mix of odd and ordinary—people doing full makeup routines, parents improvising in a rush, pets acting like commuters, and seats claimed by bags instead of people; it’s this quiet, shared chaos where everyone pretends not to notice each other while noticing everything.

Not on the tube but I once saw a man cutting his toenails in a cafe garden.

Same, but not since I was a teenager so 40 years ago. There was quite a lot of ‘flashing’ back in the day.

Non blind dogs shouldn't be allowed on any public transport. DONT QUOTE ME I DONT CARE

A large man with no top on sat on the floor near the doors, acting strangely but he clearly had mental health issues. The tube is full of nut jobs I hate travelling in London.

I’ve caught the tube loads for 25 years over several different lines at all hours. I’m actually surprised Ive not seen more outlandish stuff.

in the central zones and rush hours it’s often hideous but you’re actually really unlikely to see anything off - considering how may people are involved.

buses on the other hand……my ratio of pervert/wanker is 4:1 for bus:tube.

😾

A man, possibly drunk, leaning against the open door urinating down the narrow gap between the train and the platform. I remembered the electrified rail is always moved to the non-platform side in stations. However there are a couple of platform-both-sides stops where this could be fatal.

Someone I assumed to be an employee sewing a repair to a rip in a seat cover, in my carriage on a moving train during a quiet period.

A man with a used condom still attached. It was so gross but then funny because me and my friend couldn't believe our eyes. It was about 10yrs ago.

Blimey, what is it with all these wanking, condom wearing in public men?!!!

On a bus, not a tube, but I was once coming home at the end of the working day on a single decker bus. All seats were taken and it was very quiet. A young woman got on with a baby in a pushchair and stood in the space by the exit doors. The baby was about ten months old so I surmised she had not long gone back to work after maternity leave, had just picked him up from childcare and, in the light of her subsequent behaviour, I felt she might be struggling a bit with this new separation from her beloved child. She was clearly desperate to amuse him during the short journey, so she started singing The Wheels on the Bus, loudly, and with actions. She was jumping up and down on the platform in front of the little mite, making all the hand movements and with exaggerated facial expressions, for verse after verse. The look on that baby's face has stayed with me. I felt he was thinking 'We're in public. What's she going to be like behind closed doors?'

I used to share an office with someone who ate whole cucumbers. Crunch, crunch, slurp, crunch. And she ate with her mouth open and frequently tried to engage people in conversation. Sorry, didn't mean to derail the thread. I was triggered by cucumbers.

Last week a woman opened what I thought was some kind of briefcase, and sat her kid on the potty it actually was.

I'm not getting at her at all, needs must, but I was fascinated at this watertight contraption that she simply repacked afterwards.

That is absolutely genius. The best kind of multi tasking. I really struggle to fit my physio exercises into my day.

Only blind dogs allowed. Got it 👍

God, I’m trying to think of stuff that really registered as odd.

Couple having sex, doggy-style, in the otherwise empty last carriage of the last Piccadilly line tube. Between Arnos Grove and Southgate. I was in the next carriage and happened to glance that way through the connecting door.

A guy eating chunks of raw fish out of a margarine tub.

A guy who got on at Pimlico with a plastic knife of the kind you get with a salad at M and S and said we had to hand over all our wallets. No one took any notice, so he stood around looking embarrassed until Victoria, when he got off.

A group of fiftysomething women all wearing matching Dirty Dancing T-shirts loudly singing ‘I’ve Had the Time of My Life’. One of them ran up the middle of the carriage and tried to do the Patrick Swayze/Jennifer Grey lift on one of the others and they both ended up on the ground in hysterics. One of them said they’d come from Preston by coach to see the stage version of DD and they were determined to have as much fun as possible before they got back on the coach home.

On my first day of my internship back in the mists of time when I was living way out of London still so had been up at the crack of dawn to make the journey… last stop before I had to get off a streaker running through the carriage, which then delayed everything as someone pulled the passenger alarm. I had to explain to my new boss why I was late on my first day. He didn’t see phased by what had happened.

Years later when I had moved to London I saw an old woman chuckling to herself on the overground and then finally opening her bag and loads of pigeons flew out in to the carriage.