Funeral - sensitive question

[theedgeofthecloud]

I'd be grateful for some advice. My mum died on Saturday (6 days ago). For various reasons the funeral won't take place until 20th May, so 3.5 weeks after death. I'm completely torn and in great torment about whether to have her embalmed. Funeral Directors say it's an entirely personal choice and there's no pressure, though I get the slight impression they perhaps think it's for the best. No-one will be viewing the body, and I've always been instinctively averse to embalming and in many ways just want my poor mum left alone. But 3.5wks is probably just past the point of ideal, and I'm worried about how deteriorated she could be and in particular if there may be a smell in the church? Any wise insights would be very welcome thank you. My brain is spiralling.

My mum died last year April 7th and funeral was may 7th. She was cremated in a wicker casket without being embalmed. FD told us it wasn't necessary if nobody wanted to view her, and that they'd keep her cool and clean as long as she was with them.

3.5 weeks post death is v normal timsescale. Absolutely no need to embalm.

My father was kept refrigerated for 6 weeks as he was a coroner’s case. I viewed him shortly before his cremation. It was fine, no smell and no deterioration could be seen. Embalming isn’t necessary

Sending so much love to you at such a difficult time. I had a 4 week wait for my father’s funeral and he wasn’t embalmed and all was fine. No need unless it’s something you want to do. Xxx

Same. Delayed due to allow family from abroad to get visas to come. No smell

Funeral Director here. Embalming is entirely optional. She will be kept in fridge or cold room and all coffins are lined with waterproof fabric so don’t worry about anything. Sorry for your loss.

A big thank you again for the kind and helpful responses, it's greatly appreciated.

So very sorry for your loss.

If the funeral cannot take place for 3.5 weeks you cannot just take a body and cremate it to have in an urn for the funeral? 😳.

A cremation (if this is what is being chosen) is part of the funeral. The OP would have to wait 3.5 weeks to be able to do anything.

@theedgeofthecloud my mum's funeral was exactly 4 weeks after she died (sudden death at home so had to have a PM). We didn't have her embalmed. I never went to see her after by my sibling and dad did in the first week. They asked the funeral directors similar questions about how her body would be after 4 weeks as it was obviously a concern for us. The advice was not to have an open casket after that amout of time, that she would look significantly different after 4 weeks but there would be no decomposition or smell or anything outwardly "horrid", just that she wouldn't look like herself and on that basis they recommended closed casket.

I believe we could have continued to visit during the whole time she was with the undertaker but after that first visit my dad and sibling decided not to (myself and 2 other siblings decided not to go at all)

It's such a hard time. Be kind to yourself ❤️

If no one is viewing, and the coffin is not coming home , then the body will be kept cool.

No need to embalm.

I had my late husband embalmed because family wanted to go up to the Chapel of Rest.