What support do you wish existed but cannot currently find?

[AriaJane]

Mums… what’s the one bit of support you wish existed but no one’s offering?

Counselling support for parents of children who are diagnosed with serious physical or mental illness.

It's tough trying to support your child, your other children, yourself and keep your marriage going for years on end. It is relentless.

It's especially tough when you keep getting the finger of blame pointed at you for not managing very well. Everyone expects you to just suck it up and to know what to do but no one is interested in actually helping.

I want to adopt a grandmother…I miss mine. I want to have a dear old lady over for Sunday roast, and take her to the shops once a week, and the garden centre for lunch on a Friday. I miss that 😢

@Additup thank you for sharing and it sounds like you and you're working through a hard time right now.

Life as a mum can be overwhelming, even more so when you have challenges! Support is not always accessible to everyone and this needs to change, to allow us to support ourselves and our families as best we can.

Their not living it, you are. Keep doing what you do, knocking on those doors and someone will answer. Unfortunately, we can't control other people's responses, but keep showing up and pushing for what you and your family need and deserve, this is true inner strength, You got this!😊

I agree with you Additup having same problems with adult son. I would also like a lovely calming place that I could go to get away from it all and recharge my batteries.

@Mayflower282 thank you for sharing and sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you have such lovely memories. There are many older people who can benefit from a having a companion, especially if their isolated. A befriending service could be a giid fit, Age UK could be a good place to start 🤔

Professional help to help your child when you know they need help but they're not necessarily on any diagnosis pathway.

I’ve thought about setting this up actually, but I’d love a ‘home’ I can go to where I can be like a child again and the maternal motherly ‘mum’ tidies up after me, makes my bed, runs a bath, does all my washing and ironing and gives me a few choices of things I’d like to do that she’s organised all for me (then I’m left to do what I want), and then I msg her to pick me up and she’s cooked my fav tea. And no polite conversation needed!

That's a very kind response, but honestly after 10 years of this with no and 'how are you coping mum?', one thing after another, my marriage is broken I'm angry and resentful and I have most certainly lost 'it'.

I started doing the lottery so I could buy myself a nice escape house, just so I could have somewhere to get some peace. If I win, I'll push some your way as well xx

You sound lovely. There are so many lonely older people who would dearly love to be adopted. Please consider looking for a charity that offers some sort of befriending services - it sounds like you could make so much difference to someone's life.

Contact Help the Aged ,they have lots going on where you can keep older folks company.

This sounds so silly compared to others but a daily housekeeping service. It just doesn’t exist where I am even through an agency. I’d love someone to come in and do the daily mundane stuff for an hour a day - empty and restack the dishwasher, turn the laundry over to the next stage, do a quick tidy of all the rooms and make beds, empty the bins, run the hoover through downstairs, wipe down the kitchen sides and the sinks…. Sounds so silly but it would make such a difference to the amount of stress I feel having to find time to do each of those “5 min” jobs each morning.

I have a day in the week where I can easily get my cleaning down in a big block, but I have a cleaner so don’t need to. What DH and I struggle to manage due to work timings and schools runs etc is the daily “little jobs” which probably take an hour total. That kind of support would make a huge difference to me as a full time working mum.

Got to ask…what’s in it for the other party, exactly..?

I agree, it feels like these jobs are endless, and once they're done, it's bedtime, and the cycle starts again. I'd love a daily housekeeper! Especially on those messy days

I need mental health support for my anxiety ridden daughter to help her get back into school but that doesn’t affirm her transgender identity without question.
I’d also like mental health support for her to help her understand why she’s gone from a confident happy feminine little girl to an anxious unhappy feminine teenage girl who thinks she is a boy.
I’d love to be able to find someone to help her build her confidence back up so she can go back to school as she so desperately wants to and understand what drives her anxiety so she can learn to address it and cope with it and I’d love help for her to feel happy again in her physically perfect body.

@Tiredalwaystired- I imagine it would be a service that someone would offer - like a paid retreat?

I also like a PP’s idea of something to come in and reset my house every evening. Pick up, put away, wipe down. We have a cleaner once a week but I’d like a hotel-type service when we win the lottery.

when DC were babies I’d have loved a nanny to come in for 3-4 hours every morning so I could go back to bed 🤩

Re-engage: the charity reducing loneliness in later life https://share.google/q3Tg35MI4YeTztZ4g

I looked into this when my last grandparent died. There wasn't anything at the time,.although I think there might be more now. Also, a nursing home near us has a once a month toddler group so they all get to mix. I wish that had existed when my kids were younger. So much benefit in age groups mixing.

This was my first thought when I read the title.

Not parenting support… but I wish I could drop off my hanging baskets and have someone update and refill them seasonally.

@Mayflower282
this does exist in my area. Such a lovely scheme. Perhaps have a look at age concern or other local charities and they might have similar schemes.

My Mum used to have a job like thia in the early 90s.
She wasnt trained as a social worker or care assistant or anything. Mainly she just liked to talk.
So she got paid by I assume the council or government to visit the local elderly people and chat, have tea with them or bring them on nice outings.
Sometimes my sister and I would go with her.
Its a shame there aren't schemes like this today.
When my GM had carers it was in and out with no time for social interactions. But GM was lucky to have a large caring family. So many elderly people are completely isolated.

There ARE schemes like this today. There's the charity I posted a link to up thread (formerly Contact The Elderly), the various WRVS schemes and the Shared Lives accommodation scheme local authorities run.

Help People | Home Support | Royal Voluntary Service https://share.google/A9B4PxrfpT5hf8W7B

Home-Start UK https://share.google/npB5Xd64XDYOVZ7BI and this for parents.