Work trip restaurants have no vegetarian options and I hate fuss

[Clockinginat2pm]

Away abroad with work.
We have clients with us, there’s a few of us flown over.
Activities all organised by head office, lovely, it’s really well organised day & evening.
Restaurants booked for each evening… Smash burger place and steak & fish place x2. Checked out menus and there is zero, and I mean zero vegetarian option on any of the menus at all. Starters/mains ALL meat or fish pf some form. There’s not even any sides (which would usually be more go to)

I do not want to draw ANY attention to myself at all as I am excruciatingly dreading these events as I am introvert, socially extremely anxious and feeling very very out of my depth with it all.

Fade into the background is my main aim..

So, do I order something with meat/fish & just pretend to eat it and be hungry for a few days?

I don’t speak the language, the waiter from last night spoke no English so ringing them to order something else is not an option here at all. (I ended up with an appetiser of grilled asparagus which I couldn’t eat so pushed it around my plate for 40 minutes.

Ive used my emergency pack of biscuits as I was starving.
What would you do in my shoes???

I am so sorry for you, and I do understand what it's like if you don't want to make a fuss, but really nobody will mind if you have a quiet word with whoever is running the event. It would be no trouble at all for any restaurant to make a vegetarian version of at least some things on their menu, though your choices may be limited. I do agree you don't want to kick up a fuss in the middle of a meal.

I do hope you manage to find something to eat, even if you end up eating lots of beans and potatoes (they must have some kind of vegetables on the menu, surely?)

My apologies. I misunderstood you.

I don’t think you nderstand how anxious and what a mess I am in these situations. I’m getting better as I now rehearse questions to ask, things to say, I can barely speak. I cannot cope with adding this stress on top of trying to survive these things. So it’s the quietest, easiest, safest thing to just get through

Don’t be silly, just ask them for something vegetarian. You say no one in the restaurants speaks any English? Are you taking business guests? If so, they will speak English, ask for them to translate. If not put it through Google translate and do it that way. It’s what adults do.

What about fries? If a place sells burgers it would be odd for it not to serve fries.

I had really nice roasted veg sandwiches on granary type bread with Air France. They had lots left so I had seconds.
If the agency booked the restaurants email them? Surely they booked good restaurants who will want to keep the business and get good reviews?
Im not astonished at the lack of anything to eat op.

Just to add, I am a manager and I would think more highly of a team member who explained this problem to me clearly so I could help them address it, than one who went without food for however many days because they were scared to speak up. I would not think anything bad of either, but I would be disappointed that the second thought they could not speak to me and it might occur to me to think about what else are they not saying.

The one time I accidentally ate meat I became really quite unwell. After 25+ years of not eating it my body didn’t have the enzymes to digest it.

I am also allergic to nightshades so even straightforward vegetarian food rarely works for me. I have, as a result, been the person that asks for the chicken pasta without the chicken (or similar) on a regular basis.

I wish people would stop saying fries as I now want fries. I think you would be more likely to get them cooked in sunflower oil or similar on the continent.
Tapas should work but tend to be fishy or meaty.

Why are some people being so rude and hurtful?

Possible solution - ask for a dessert instead?

Ha.

Dessert is a minefield...sometimes you get a choice and can't cope with the idea of choosing from a menu😐

Honestly op you’re being ridiculous. Email the agency who made the bookings, email your boss or email the restaurants using ai to translate and request a vegetarian menu at dinner. You’re making it into a bigger deal than it is. You clearly haven’t pre-ordered food, so ask for the vegetarian menu.
If I employed you I would be worried about your communication skills if you can’t even advocate for yourself and ask for a vegetarian menu.

It’s beyond difficult to understand.

OP you need therapy for your own sake, because this is not normal. It really isn’t.
It’s just ridiculous sitting there pretending to eat. If I was your boss I’d seriously question why I hired you.

Stop wasting food you are not going to eat, and order what you will eat.

I think this goes much deeper than where the OP can find chips or snacks. This level of social anxiety requires therapy. Vegetarians are not rare in the workplace, and even if they were, asking the boss/restaurant to knock up a meat free version should not feel like the equivalent of standing in your knickers in front of your colleagues - which it clearly does to the OP. The veggie meal is not the issue - the anxiety is.

Sorry, where are you?? Iran? No butter, spread or olive oil? What if you couldn't it gluten, would you just eat crisps?
You are being a baby, tell them you don't eat meat, they aren't mind readers!!!!!!

I was in Barcelona a while ago with a vegetarian colleague. The set-lunch menus didn't include vegetarian options, but after a quick word with the waiter, the kitchen was happy to prepare something. And the evening restaurants included plenty of vegetarian-friendly tapas. I think vegan would have been more difficult, but vegetarian was 0 problem.

So you would chose to look obvious and not eat rather than speaking out
quietly and discreetly You will look extremely weird. Personally I have found that most restaurants want to help (as a vegetarian and have been a vegan) whatever their culture and menu options.

The smash burger place you could have a burger with no meat patty (like a salad roll - lettuce toms onions pickle on a burger bun)
I think if you are travelling as a working adult onus is on you to speak up, it’s not an infant school trip.

Kosher

Halal

my Hindu friend doesn’t eat anything that “comes from life”

Buddhist

etc. many many religions have rules about eating,

China was actually one of the easier places as I just said I was Buddhist.

there are many places off the beaten track that do not understand the concept of vegetarian. AI hotel in Thailand, fine. Random street food place in Laos or Cambodia no fucking chance.

I’ve done teacher training in some very out of the way places and in a school in the middle of nowhere in rural Africa, no there are not always chips and eggs. The people have trouble with the concept of western food full stop.

I think the way you are behaving is a bit unfair on them: the aim of the trip is to create happy, co operative workforce. They are paying big bucks and lots of time for you to participate in the activities, eat out and have a nice time. It's good for the team. it's good for work in general.

But because you have an unspoken need which isn't being met and you won't say anything you're having a shit time and are hungry. You need to speak out so the event has a hope of reaching it's objectives.

Just put what you want in Google translate on your phone and show it to a waiter.

Yes I don't believe it one bit.

There isn't a single burger place in the world that doesn't serve chips or sides.

Contact the restaurant ahead of the booking and ask? They may have a separate vegetarian menu or be able to modify a dish without any fuss. You don't have to wait until you're sat at a table with everyone to deal with it.

I honestly don’t know how you’ve got this far as a vegetarian whilst being so unassertive. I’ve been vego for thirty years and travelled all over the world. If it matters, you speak up. If you really can’t do that this trip, you can’t even speak to the organisers and get then to sort it, you need to seek help when you get home. It is very self-destructive to be so incapable of asserting yourself.

As for the ‘why do people make their lives difficult’ 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 yes why do people give a shit? When it’s so much easier not to. What fools.

I'm intrigued as to how the OP managed to get a job (apply, go to an interview etc) and go to work and then travel abroad all on her own without any adults assisting her.

So you would rather NOT EAT than explain you are a veggie! And, pretend you are on a restricted diet, when you ARE ON a restricted diet. Good God 😂👶🏻

I agree, the quote below is bonkers. Surely if you're that terrified of interacting with other people, then just not being vegetarian is the easiest option? Unless the choice of being vegetarian is also linked to anxiety like emetophobia. OP sounds terrified of absolutely everything. As an adult with a working debit card, just nip to a shop or supermarket during the day and get some food to stay full. It sounds like she's only eating a hotel breakfast to survive the day.

I don’t think you nderstand how anxious and what a mess I am in these situations. I’m getting better as I now rehearse questions to ask, things to say, I can barely speak. I cannot cope with adding this stress on top of trying to survive these things. So it’s the quietest, easiest, safest thing to just get through.

OP, your colleagues and clients will absolutely notice. Everyone notices when a grown adult sits at a restaurant table pushing food around a plate. They are just too polite to mention it and will assume you have an ED or other MH issues. It's not sociable or fun though, and your boss will not be happy that you're dragging the team mood down by not eating all day.