What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?

[Tuxmittens]

I’ve just had one of those moments I know I’ll randomly think about at 3am for the next 10 years…

This morning I was walking through the garden into work, talking to my boss, when out of nowhere my sandal catches onto the paving stones and, extremely ungracefully, fully just flop onto the floor, mid sentence She immediately goes into concern mode asking if I’m okay, and I’m just there, picking myself up off the floor, going yes I’m fine! whilst internally wanting to evaporate
The worst part is, it didn’t even hurt. Like physically, I was completely fine, it was just pure, concentrated awkwardness.

Please help me feel better with some of your embarrassing stories!

When I was about 7/8 I was on holiday in a caravan park with my grandparents. One day I was playing around the outside of our caravan, in my own little world. All of a sudden I saw a door slam shut, I panicked and ran to the door and tried to open it but it was locked. I started banging on the door shouting “let me in, let me in!” Thinking that for some reason my GP’s had unknowingly locked me out. A woman opened the door who wasn’t my GM, and I’d realised it was next doors caravan who’d shut their door. I went bright red, quickly said “oops wrong caravan, sorry!” And ran back inside to my actual caravan. That was the last time I played outside the caravan on that holiday and I never mentioned it to GP’s out of embarrassment.

A few years ago at the zoo with dp & dc, I rolled my ankle and ended up falling over in front of a busy cafe with loads of outdoor seating. Often when I do something like this I see the funny side, but my ankle really hurt so this wasn’t one of those times. I could feel everyone gawping at me and was so embarrassed that as dp was helping me up, I got angry and shouted “why is everyone staring at me!?! Take a picture it will last longer!” Or words to that effect. As if I myself wouldn’t naturally look over when someone takes a tumble. I was mortified at my sudden reaction which probably just made it even more amusing for onlookers.

I’m sure I have more, but these two always stick in my mind.

Oh loads of things.

Aged 18: laughed so hard during work that snot visibly came out of my nose in front of a colleague. It was only a part time retail job during school, but I also was in school with this colleague.

Aged 19: walking to uni and the road my halls were on was a super busy road in a capital city centre. It had snowed a lot and turned to icy slush. Fell hard on my arse in front of a queue of traffic and tried to pretend it didn't hurt.

Aged 19: went to A&E because I couldn't find the string to pull my tampon out. 3 nurses shining a light up my vagina trying to find it, and gradually calling more nurses in to have a look. One finally asked if I'd had a poo today and when I said yes she confirmed it had likely come out then.

Aged 20: chatting to a guy in the smokers area of a club. Went to sit down on a barrel but it was hollow and I went into the barrel in a V shape with my legs sticking up in the air.

Aged 21: sat in my 4th floor flat doing my make up, dressing gown on but boobs out because it was boiling. Apartment complex window cleaner got an eye full.

The list goes on. I've had so many embarrassing moments and I've not even touched on any from the last decade.

I fell down the gap at a train station. The whole platform gasped as I dropped 4 foot down the side of the train and an even bigger crowded platform applauded as some burly men hauled me back up by my Elasticated waist line.

In a pub with some friends and this very attractive man starts flirting with me. He has to leave, so asks me out, I give him my number etc.

Walk back to my friends and gush about how sexy he is and how I can't wait for the date.

I realise they are quiet and not reacting to me. Then I feel a hand in my shoulder - Flirty Man forgot his coat and heard everything.

He handled it rather well actually, have me a big kiss and we did end up going on a few dates before I moved away (now have random exchanges on LinkedIn, nearly 30 years later!)