What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?

[Tuxmittens]

I’ve just had one of those moments I know I’ll randomly think about at 3am for the next 10 years…

This morning I was walking through the garden into work, talking to my boss, when out of nowhere my sandal catches onto the paving stones and, extremely ungracefully, fully just flop onto the floor, mid sentence She immediately goes into concern mode asking if I’m okay, and I’m just there, picking myself up off the floor, going yes I’m fine! whilst internally wanting to evaporate
The worst part is, it didn’t even hurt. Like physically, I was completely fine, it was just pure, concentrated awkwardness.

Please help me feel better with some of your embarrassing stories!

I was browsing in a jewelry shop (Lovisa) in a busy shopping centre, went to leave and walked straight into the store front window, missing the open door. In my defense it was a pane of floor to ceiling glass next to the door with no stickers or anything on. I made a huge bang striding into it, knocked my specs off and gave myself a black eye. Two passersby helped me, no one from the shop did and now I refuse to go in any Lovisa branches 😊

I posted this some time ago but here goes again. Back in the 80's I was having a fling with a guy called John. At that time I was working for a stockbroking company whose managing director was also called John. The latter was vaguely aristocractic, intimidating and didn't exactly "engage" with lesser mortals like me. I had a relatively junior role and as such I rarely ever dealt with, let alone had phone calls, from said managing director. Anyway, one day the switchboard operator put through a call to my desk saying that it was from "John" and naturally I assumed it was my John as he often phoned me at work. So she's puts him through and I say "hello big boy, show us your stonking wet willy". And after what seemed like an interminable silence I heard the MD spluttering the words "good god ginasevern is that you?". Realising the sheer horror of the situation I asked him if he'd heard that utterly disgusting voice on the phone and said it must be some kind of cross line. There were no repercussions but thereafter he didn't half give me a wide berth whenever he saw me.

My friend had a friend who had moved away but was coming back to visit. We were about 14 or 15 at the time. I hadn't met this girl before but my friend was really desperate for me to meet her. When we met my friend and her friend were waiting stood behind friends garden wall. I was introduced and asked the new friend why she was on her knees.
It turned out she was just very small in stature and because they were standing behind the garden wall, I couldn't see her legs. I was mortified and 50 years on I still cringe with embarrassment when I think about it 😒😒

Can’t decide which one was worse.

Had a big delivery coming & needed to get the cat inside the house before opening the gates. Little bugger thought me lumbering after him in the garden was a game & kept running away. Delivery lads were pushed for time so I saw my chance & rugby tackled the cat. Missed by a considerable margin & landed on the gravel on my belly. Heard an “Oof” sound (was me) & just lay there totally winded with the delivery lads nearly wetting themselves with laughter. Cat by this time had made his own way back into the house.

OR

Gave my DH a right bollocking for being extremely lazy. I was foaming - he got both barrels - held nothing back. Didn’t realise I’d somehow recorded it (several minutes) & sent it to a friend on WhatsApp. Got a message from her - “You ok?” - I thought of course I’m ok - why are you texting me? Then I saw my voice message above her message. 🙇🏼‍♀️ Started to play it back & it was horrific. Pressed delete but the damage was done.

I once spent a full minute trying to work out how to open the door of a pub restaurant. It wasn't actually the door,but just a glass panel. The actual door was to the side it. Thankfully,the only witnesses were my DD and DGD who were following behind, and asked me what on earth I was doing. 😂

Early teens, at the house of a boy I fancied. Walked smack bang into the sliding French door and fell on my bum. Genuinely thought it was open!

He laughed and I walked out and walked straight home. The romance died a very quick death after that!

Running for a bus, my knickers fell down when crossing the road. Bus waited for me, so stepped out of them and got onto bus. To see it was full of whole class of secondary school kids on a trip who had all seen, and were talking about it, till I got off several stops early.

I took my DD, then aged ten, into town one Christmas to see a show. Got to the theatre and couldn't work out how to get in as all doors were locked. Went round the side to no avail. Eventually checked the poster and realised that we were a day early and the theatre was closed on a Sunday. 🤦‍♀️

Quick walk to the nearest station for wi-fi (I had a tablet but no smart phone back then) to check what was on in other nearby theatres and cinemas. DD: "Honestly, Mum, you are such a dodo sometimes." Me: "Shut up." We ended going to see Frozen II, then returned the next day to successfully see the theatre show.

In cafe with DD6 and DD4.
Youngest starts getting up and running between her seat and the next (empty) table.
I get up plonk her back in her seat and tell her to sit still otherwise she might fall and hurt herself.
Turning to go back to my seat I collide with my chair sending me and the chair sprawling onto the floor.

Parental Authority Rating 0%
Parental Embarrassment Rating 100%

First, slipped badly on a wet floor in a crowded Heathrow cafe, while waiting for dh to arrive. Very nearly went arse over breakfast time, as my DF used to put it - just managed to save myself but in the process let out a stupendously loud fart. With people all around.
Somehow managed to summon the aplomb to carry on as if nothing had happened.

Second, heavy period flood at work* when I was wearing close fitting white trousers. And hadn’t realised, until I saw two male colleagues’ eyes drop, and hastily rise again - too polite to say anything.

Luckily had my car, a fairly quick drive home, changed into different white trousers, returned to work. Nobody ever said anything, so I was not obliged to, either.
*it was in a Middle Eastern country - nearly all male staff, the two who had noticed my ‘flood’ were Brits.

And another one!
I was 17 and I was being escorted to my bus stop in town by my mates new boyfriend. We'd just left her flat and needed to bus it into town first, then get our respective last buses home. It was around 10-30 at night, had been raining nearly all evening and the pavements down the hill to the bus stop were wet. I was doing ok until I hit a discarded carrier bag, my foot hit it and I was down on one knee and off! I was sailing past pubs like I was Jayne Torville doing the Bolero. People coming out of the pub were flying backwards as I shot past. Meanwhile her boyfriend is running behind me shouting "Please stop her!" It seemed like it lasted for ages! My knee hit an uneven flagstone and I came to a halt. He was horrified and thought I'd done some real physical damage! I assured him I was fine, but he insisted on waiting with me until my bus came, which meant him missing his and having to walk home. Which he said he didn't care about, poor lad!
I was absolutely mortified, my pride and my knees were vying for first place! I still go hot and cold thinking about it 38 years on! 🫣

😂😂😂

This happened 28 years ago and I still can’t bring myself to tell the story to many people in real life, only a select few know. But hey, after 28 years I think I can now own my embarrassment so here’s the story.

When I was at university I wanted to change degree course. I messaged the head of admissions in the department I wanted to transfer to. At the time, I could only access my e-mails on the university computers. Stupidly a couple of weeks previously I got a ‘friend’ to check my e-mails for me when they went in to uni over the Easter break. Unbeknownst to me, they added a signature to my e-mail. The signature only appeared after you sent the message back then so unless you looked at your sent message you wouldn’t see it. So, I had no idea that for two weeks I had been signing off all my e-mails saying ‘I love lumpy cum’. I only found out when one of the admission tutors replied to my message and I could see the signature on my original message. I could have died. I’d messaged my dad in that two weeks and he didn’t mention it! The guy that added the signature had forgotten about it, there was a lot of chasing him around the hall of residence trying to get back at him (although I could see the funny side of it).

I was very lucky that the tutor had a sense of humour and was impressed that I had the balls to just straight up apologise for it. They thought I just wouldn't show up to my interview. It did end ok. I did get on the course and have been happily working in the field ever since.

🤣Hilarious!!

Age 17 I walked all the way through town to school with my skirt tucked into my tights. That was so embarrassing. There was guy behind me the whole way who now coaches ds13’s football🫣

I was once standing on a quiet street outside my friend's house helping her carry heavy boxes of fragile breakables in from the car.

It was the summer, there was a gentle breeze and I was wearing a knee length floaty summer dress.

Just as a car pulled into the previously empty road, the summer breeze turned into a gust and lifted my dress. All I could do was shake my head, laugh and mouth, "I'm so sorry!" To the car's occupants as they got a good view of my knickers. They laughed. It was all good. But never wear floaty summer dresses on a breezy day or have your hands full of anything you can't drop immediately!

Years ago, when I had the legs for it, I was wearing a very short floaty skirt to my student summer job, with a g-string underneath. There was also a guy there who I totally lusted after. All of these are relevant facts.

One day, I was up a stepladder for some reason. I'd obviously done some weird position beforehand, because long story short, my own bumcrack munched up my floaty skirt. The way I found out was a nice lady colleague quietly telling me, although it was too late because when I climbed down, he was standing right there too.

Summer couldn't end fast enough that year.

Customer corporate meeting onsite. Early 20’s. I was presenting. I wore a shirt. As I slouched and sat straight in the chair presenting the button right across my chest pinged open and I flashed them my cleavage and was wearing a plunge bra. The utter horror. They knew what happened. I knew what happened but I was still presenting.

I could stop and draw more attention or carry on. Neither great options. I awkwardly slumped in my chair and tried to quickly do it up holding paper infront of me. I did it. Fumbled.

They were all very gracious and tried not to stare or laugh. I haven’t worn a shirt without stretch since. Poor bloke didn’t expect to see my boobs before lunch.

Shat myself in my sleep on a campsite with no showers. Our tent is tiny and my son and husband still sleeping it was hard to get my spare clothes out without waking them and I couldn't do anything to clean myself up inside the tent. Just had to step out into 5am broad daylight and walk the half mile down the road to the toilet block. Luckily it was early so no one else was up yet so I just walked up how I was. Just as i got to the toilet block 2 minibusses of soldiers on training pulled up and filed out, queueing up to use said toilet block. I had only recently been diagnosed with crohn's disease and I wasn't ready to admit defeat and give up camping. I still have no regrets. After cleaning myself up and having a good old cry in the toilets I realised the worst had already happened so I walked up the mountain with my family a few hours later. It was actually very freeing to know that the absolute worst case scenario had already happened!

I left a job in retail after they’d really pissed me off. I get another job with a competitor down the road, and on my first day, I completely forgot where I was going and yep… rang the doorbell to see my old bitch of a boss walking to open the door. I’d gone to my old place of work instead of the new place!!
Stupidly I just admitted what I’d done and everyone couldn’t stop laughing!!!

I went to a parents evening with my Mum when I was in sixth form.

The head teacher was walking up and down the hall with her skirt tucked into her tights.

Fortunately one mother went up to her and told her.

😂😂😂

Many people have dreams similar to this, but you lived it!

😂Hilarious.

A few years ago,id taken the younger kids to school and ds had headed off to his school (that was in the opposite direction)

It was a lovely sunny day and I had the day off and took the rare chance to wear a light summer dress

At about 2:50am,ds's school rang
'name has brought something to school and we need you to come to pick it up'

'No worries,ill be ten minutes' and my last thought as I left the house was 'i won't take my bag-i won't need it'

Got to the school reception and the receptionist hands me my new (and unused!) vibe!

The little git had been snooping in a cupboard,seen it,taken it to school and was caught waving it around his head in the playground!

Im standing there holding a plastic pink and white willy with nowhere to put it and was running late to pick the younger ones up from school so didnt have time to run home with it

I think I stuffed it in my bra in the end...

I have very poor proprioception. I suspect I am dyspraxic but that wasn't really a diagnosis when I was young. I was just a "clumsy child"

I was playing rounders as a teenager. I went to hit the ball, but hit myself on the head instead! It hurt quite a bit. Everyone else thought it was funny!