Groomsmen Suit- Who Pays?

[JTyler25]

My husband is going to be a groomsman for a close friend in September. As well as a Best Man, there are five other groomsmen. This morning they went suit shopping- the groom chose the suit shop etc, chose the suit. All the men got measured, tried on the suit the groom liked, and it was decided they’d get that one. Groom then went to pay for all the suits and turned to the others and said “so they’re £240 each, are you okay to transfer me the money this afternoon?” This was the first time money or payment had been mentioned. My husband said he was a bit taken aback, as he hugely assumed the suits would be paid for from the wedding budget. He said all the other men just agreed so he went along and said that was fine.

Now that he’s had time to think about it on the drive back, and discuss it with me, my husband is annoyed and wants to chat with the groom and say this was unexpected and he didn’t imagine he’d have to pay for his own suit. We both agree it’s annoying that the groom chose the suit, it’s not one my husband would pick for himself, yet he still has to pay for it. I agree with him but also feel it’s too late now, he should’ve said something in the moment. He can’t agree to pay and then a couple of hours later call it out and say he doesn’t want to. So I think we need to pay.

At our wedding, we paid for bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen suits etc. When I’ve been a bridesmaid, the dress has been paid for.

So I’m curious, is this normal? Or is his friend being a bit cheeky expecting them all to pay for their own suit? It’s annoying as it’s just a grey suit, I mean it’s all tailored to fit and will be nice quality. But it’s nothing special. He already has a grey suit, but in a lighter shade.
I think it’s different if the groom just said “wear any grey suit,” as then the groomsmen could wear ones the already own, or buy one much cheaper.

We’ve already paid just under £300 for a hotel for two nights (it’s a three hour drive away so need to stay before and after) and I just feel a bit put out by it. So I just wondered what other people’s experiences of this kind of thing have been? At your wedding, did you pay for grooms suits and bridesmaid dresses? If you’ve been a groomsmen or bridesmaid, did you pay for your own or did the bride and groom pay? I just want to get a general idea of what’s normal really, and what others have done. Thank you!

I would have expected the groom to have paid too the exception being if they were just allowed to wear any suit of their choice/that they already owned.

my husband hired his first his best man & groomsmen to keep costs down.

I would expect groom to pay.
i’d also phone now and say you can’t afford it, can it be cancelled. It’s unlikely groom shop has orders and tailored these suits in the last 3 hours. Maybe ordered? If I had to pay I’d get it then sell it on unused. This may be friendship ending.
but most would just be annoyed at themselves and do nothing.

Groomsmen hired suits for our wedding and DH paid. I paid for bridesmaid's dress.

This should have been discussed and agreed beforehand, I think it's a lot to ask people to pay for something they may not really want. Has your DH asked the other groomsmen what they think?

I think if Groom picks and chooses the suits he should pay. If it’s just turn up and wear any suit people pay for themselves!

this happened to my husband, we literally had no money and my husband had umpteen suits he wears for work, he didn’t need another. It’s embarrassing to say you can’t afford it but it’s better than going into debt.

If you want people in the wedding party to wear very specific things then you (couple marrying) should pay.

The groom chose them, the groom wants them in those suits and therefore the groom pays. Same as with bridesmaids.

So he can afford to have 6 male attendants at his wedding...because he's not paying for their outfits.
I bet there's a gaggle of bridesmaids too.
How classy.

Another vote for if he's specifying the suits, he pays. Dp's best mate did this, but also went for suits they can wear at other times.

Same here. My DH hired suits for his ushers, he picked and he paid.

"Groomsmen" is the American term. It was always "ushers" or "attendants" in the UK, and as I understand it the etiquette in the US is that bridesmaids + groomsmen pay for their own outfits (+ hair, makeup etc).

I find it bemusing, wonder whether that's the reason it's become fashionable to make a big thing of asking them to be your bridesmaid - bridesmaid "proposal" ad Ive seen it called.

I dont get it

The couple should pay in those circumstances. We paid for suit hire. My MOH bought a dress of her choosing (I vaguely indicated colours to consider). But we paid for her travel and accommodation for the wedding and all food for the weekend, so it was pretty much the only cost for her.

Thanks everyone- it definitely seems like the consensus is the bride/groom should pay for them. Glad I’m not going mad!

Groomsmen has been gaining more usage in the UK in the past three decades mainly because:

• there is a groom and the men around him are then groomsmen - we don't have a different word for the groom in the UK
• ushers is a term used in funerals too, and many people don't like the association when applied to a wedding... for obvious reasons

State of some of DHs groomsmen I think they just re used their suits from prom… but I would have thought the groom would pay

So odd to insist on buying rather than renting.

Hmm, I’ve been a bridesmaid four times, at 9ne point I felt like rent a bridesmaid, sigh, and paid 3 of the 4 times for the dress. More than happy to do it.

its a cheap suit though. Can he really not wear it again?

By the way I also think it’s too late to say anything.

Why would it be too late to say anything, it's the same day not the day before the wedding? I also don't think many would consider £250 per suit to be cheap. If the groom wants them to pay they should get the option of buying or renting a suit of their choice to accommodate their budget.

Do you really think that's the reason? I suspect it's more likely the volume of US-originating wedding content in magazines + online

I think it's probably a combination of both. I got married in 2001 and we used the term groomsmen and I don't remember being an avid reader of wedding content on magazines or online.

Max you can insist on its colour i think.

They choose, they pay. Your husband should've spoken up at the time though I do see it would have felt awkward if others agreed immediately.

If you want people to wear specific outfits then you pay for them otherwise they can wear what they like. Why on earth are brides and grooms expecting their guests to pay for special outfits??

We paid for everything for our ushers best man and bridesmaids, hair makeup jewellery the lot. That’s why we only had 1 best man 2 ushers and 2 bridesmaids.

I'd be seriously pissed off that it was completely sprung on him in front of a group of other people after the suits had been agreed. It seems very sneaky to me.