Would you feel disheartened if your partner never took time off together?

[Fulloflemonstoday]

My friends husband will occasionally take the day off work to spend with her and she said she loves it when he does because it’s spontaneous and perks up their relationship a bit.

I asked my DH if he would ever do this and he flat out said no 😂 I sort of understand, he loves going to work. He hates booking time off and only ever does if I book us a holiday or if he’s got a medical appointment. He never really just books time off to spend with me, I said it would be fun to just book a day off spontaneously while the kids are at school.. but he just laughed it off and went to work.

I can’t lie, I’m a bit disheartened by the lack of desire to want to spend time with me. I get that work is important.. but just take a holiday here and there.. that’s what they’re for 😅

Apt username

Yes - totally disheartened. My ExH was like this. My partner who genuinely loves spending time with me is happy to do this.

It's rubbish, OP - I remember the feeling.

Does he use up all of his holiday allowance? Were you asking him on the way to work to book a day off or saying lets have a day off together soon? Do you need to save holiday allowance to cover school holidays?

It would mean I also have to take time off and that won't work as I prefer to have longer stretches annual leave than the odd day here and there.

We try to go away over Bank Holidays and have days out together at weekends. DD is at uni and it frees up more time now.

It's more important for me that DH helps like driving me to medical appointments or helping at home when I am ill without moaning or telling me how helpful he is.

Do you work op?

I’ve mentioned it often about booking a day off to spend together over the last year or so and it’s just never happened.

we don’t need to save holidays for childcare, I work in a school so I only work term time anyway, and only part time.

no reason to save holiday allowance other than for holidays if we have one

This issue aside - guessing things aren’t rosy?

Yes I’m part time, term time only.

Do you read?

Is he self employed?

Sorry that was probably uncalled for. I meant, I’ve answered your question in the post you’ve quoted, please revise.

No he isn’t self employed

Ooof… maybe take a day off for yourself!!

You make zero reference to the marriage as a whole - is he generally supportive, living, a good father and partner?

So you’re saying that he never takes his full entitlement?

He usually does take his full entitlement (i think, I don’t actually count) but it’s usually because we’ve gone on holiday, obviously pre-planned. Then he uses the rest for things like appointments, if he’s ever sick he takes that as a holiday instead of sick pay. Then occasionally he’ll book some days off if he wants to get something done outside of work. It’s never just to spend time with me or do anything with me.

Do you ever go out together in the evenings? Dates? Anything?

I'd be disheartened, though probably more concerned if he is letting work rule his life, which seems to be the implication.

Yes generally supportive, very kind and genuine. He’s never really selfish but can just be really unaware sometimes. Couldn’t really ask for a better person for the kids. He’s a great guy, he just doesn’t really see the point in doing anything to bring any fun or joy into our marriage 🤣

Nope never, occasionally he brings home good quality butcher steak and that’s our kind of treat for us once in a while. We go to the cinema maybe once or twice a year

Well how about booking up a few dates rather than wanting him to go straight to taking a full day off

I was going to ask the same.

She hadn’t, but you edited your post to ask a different question and she was replying to your original. Which she’d already answered upthread at the time.

Turns out… no they don’t

So I’d address this first!

He’s never interested in doing anything, and he works late a lot of time so we don’t often have time to do anything in the evenings. Then weekends we struggle for childcare.

Maybe the solution to this is to meet him half way op and get a baby-sitter (or take a family member with you) next time you go on a family holiday and spend a day together then?

I hear you though. My dh works all hours and it is always a stress and a hassle to persuade him to take any time off. It makes you feel like you are last on the priority list.

Also, your dh bringing a steak home for a treat is all very well, but that is his idea of a treat, not yours. I think if this was my dh, I would be leaving him to enjoy his steak on his own!