Would you feel disheartened if your partner never took time off together?

[Fulloflemonstoday]

My friends husband will occasionally take the day off work to spend with her and she said she loves it when he does because it’s spontaneous and perks up their relationship a bit.

I asked my DH if he would ever do this and he flat out said no 😂 I sort of understand, he loves going to work. He hates booking time off and only ever does if I book us a holiday or if he’s got a medical appointment. He never really just books time off to spend with me, I said it would be fun to just book a day off spontaneously while the kids are at school.. but he just laughed it off and went to work.

I can’t lie, I’m a bit disheartened by the lack of desire to want to spend time with me. I get that work is important.. but just take a holiday here and there.. that’s what they’re for 😅

Sounds like he’s in a big job with a lot of work commitments.

I didn't think people who work in schools really good AL they can book outside of school holidays?

He's a great guy... except that he doesnt want to spend time with the person he loves because he doesnt see the point? He's a great guy who wont put in even the tiniest bit of effort to do something his partner would love and would mean you get to spend time together? He's a great guy but he'd rather be at work than spend time with the partner he claims to love and the family he chose to have? Bullshit, sorry. Great guys dont think 'well, ive got her now, and we've got kids and ive got work, so even though i have opportunity to spend time with the person i love, I cant be bothered'
If he was absolutely exhausted and all his annual leave was used up with childcare that would be a different story but he has annual leave to spare. You deserve more than this, sorry.

Completely agree. He's not unaware, he's just not interested and thinks he can just coast on the relationship. Being in a relationship means thoughtfulness, consideration, a desire to spend time together. There's being unaware and there's refusing to be aware. Laughing when you talk about spending time together isn't being unaware.

Yes my dh does. He’ll check what days I’m off that week and book that day. We’ll go for a nice walk then a pub lunch and a few drinks.

He sounds fun. I'd be wondering why my husband didn't want to spend time with me. Not an ideal position.

Yes I would hate this too! Also seem like such an usual thing, my partner and I map out our annual leave together and whilst one of us may take the odd day here and there to do something individually the vast majority of our annual leave is taken at the same time. We do have two small children so often it will be for family stuff but thinking back I’m sure we still did it even before the children were born

Were you married during Covid? How was it being stuck indoors together?

No we got married in 2023 - we had our first baby in Covid though, so we spend a lot of time taking her on walks together, lots of time in the street together ect.

Tbh DH has never taken time off during the week to spend time with me. It feels like a bit of a luxury when we have school-aged dcs (so our time available family holidays is more limited). All his annual leave is used up for family holidays, or school events (he can wfh so doesn't take time off for things like tradesmen). I don't feel disheartened by that - I want us to maximise time spent as a family and have as many holidays as we can through the year, so we have to pick what we prioritise for his annual leave (I'm freelance so it's not an issue for me).

It’s odd that this is made you start a thread rather than the fact you say you husband is never interested in doing anything just with you (aside from cinema twice a year)

Do you suggests meals out etc and he always says no?