How can I stop thinking about a distressing news article? *trigger warning*

[Dontwinfriendswithsalad]

I’ve just read a news article about an absolutely horrific case of child abuse by a teacher called Jamie Varley. If you haven’t read anything about it please don’t, as I desperately wish I hadn’t.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can scrub this from my brain or stop thinking about it? I know the world is a cruel place but this is probably one of the worst things I’ve read and I need it out of my head.

And the 'lessons that should be learned' is that there is no sacred caste. Every single person should be subject to the same checks, scrutiny and suspicion that anyone else would.

The amount of horrific things being allowed to continue because of peoples fears of being labelled and 'ist' or 'phobe' is truly shocking.

I couldn’t listen to this when the news came on. I hope they throw the book at this pair and they get what they deserve in prison.

It’s just incomprehensible. I can’t fathom how people can behave in such a monstrous way, and how so many of them are able to carry out such deviant acts with apparent impunity, only being stopped when a child dies?
Some employers apparently now routinely check social media of candidates to weed out anyone they deem unsuitable, and the same is proposed for those wishing to travel to the USA, I believe. I just wondered if this is also routine for prospective foster carers and adopters, and in fact anyone proposing to work with children and young people? It should be. Their devices should be checked. I read that one of the deviants in this case had inappropriate pictures of ‘their’ poor baby on his phone. I simply don’t believe it would have been the first time he had taken or obtained such images of a child, just out of the blue. Just awful…

It may not have been her decision, unfortunately

I read that article too, so horrendous my brain just doesnt want to compute that somebody would do that. There really isnt a sentence that would justifiably fit the crime IMO.
Im reminding myself though that even though these 'people' slip through the cracks the majority of children are adopted/fostered by loving parents. Most people are caring and compassionate....which makes it more shocking that monsters like this are walking around amongest us.😟

Absolutely, yes. Nobody’s going to think: ‘I’m perfectly fine with how things panned out, no regrets’ when their baby was horrifically killed is my point. Whatever issues the mum had, it’s tragic even for her.

Amen.

There is no official process for juror support. There was an enhanced support pilot scheme for 15 courts in 2024 for a 6 month period. Apart from that, jurors would need to go to their GP to be signposted for mental health support just like anyone else. Judges have to discretion to proactively excuse jurors from being called again, either for a period of time or life, but there's no official framework for it. It just depends on whether the judge thinks it's appropriate.

It’s awful isn’t it, that poor baby.

when I need my mind taken off stuff I watch mindless comedy programmes, Friday night dinner been my most recent

We seem to just say well their DBS check was fine, the end, but that's not safeguarding is it. If we're honest with ourselves, the whole system is not fit for purpose.

This is true, I read an absolutely harrowing article by a woman who’d been a juror on a horrific case. There was no support at all

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-61270062?app-referrer=deep-link

Its horrific that people can be called up to witness such awful images / testimonies / evidence and have no support. Whats the gp gonna do? Give you silvercloud access or 5 useless CBT sessions?

I'm stuck on it too but as a recovering super anxious person my advice is

Go outside. If you cant then open doors and windows wide. Listen to birds. Feel the breeze.

Cold water on face or even better swim.

Listen to favourite songs

Find good news to read

Baby Preston was failed by a system that constantly turns a blind eye to the great big red flags in front of it. No doubt the fact one of these evil monsters was a teacher meant people believed whatever excuses were given for the countless injuries. Because people want to believe that people in good jobs can’t be child abusers.

I’m shocked a baby in an adoptive environment could be present to hospital that many times was not checked upon more.

How these monsters did what they did, I don’t even know. I’d happily see them hung.

The only comfort is knowing many people are thinking about Preston now, and wishing he never had to endure what he did. I hope you are at peace sweet boy.

These men are vile - they are so obviously guilty and if they had an ounce of consideration for anyone’s wellbeing, they would spare the jury of the details by pleading guilty.

Does anyone else think that when local authorities - who decide who gets to adopt - post things like this this week, which had one share - by Pride in Surrey (look up its former chair Stephen Ireland and who now runs this group), that safeguarding isn't being taken seriously?

Perhaps a way to feel better is to think about what you could do to help situations like this? I hadn't read it until you mentioned it but it made me think - could I foster in the future (currently have young children and not in a position to) to ensure that some children are placed somewhere safe. Or can I help with charity or something. Action is the enemy of worry.

People are capable of despicable acts of cruelty but, if it's any sort of comfort, I cried when I saw that, and I can't think when I last cried at the news, despite it being relentlessly awful much of the time. This was a standout example of cruelty and you won't come across things like this all the time.

That beautiful, beautiful little baby: he was like a cherub with that gorgeous smile. RIP little Angel. There are so many thinking of you with loving thoughts, though we never met.

@Dontwinfriendswithsalad
I read this last night and wish I hadn't seen it.
Its in my brain.

They pair of them are monsters tge fact the boyfriend husband whatever is pleading not guilty... the fact the fucker was a teacher
..
The fact that poor little cherub Preston visited A&E SO many times and so.many people missed it or didnt raise the alarm presumably because they didn't want to be seen as close minded / bigoted / whatever of a white gay couple.

I just despair.

And I cannot get it out of my mind

Must be so hard. The jurors at the trial of Arthur Labinjo -Hughes must have had a horrific time too

Why would they, when they had no concern for the welfare of a tiny, innocent baby boy? They are quite obviously sadists.

Apologies for the derail but how does the sourness work?

It concentrates your senses to the sour taste/sensation you're experiencing, which can, depending on your tolerance be borderline unpleasant but even if you kind of like it it switches your focus to the physical feeling and short circuits the thoughts.

Sour sweets have worked well for me.

Also in the news, there’s a shortage of Health Visitors. Apparently HVs are struggling to meet the needs of families as their caseloads are a ridiculous 1,000.

And of course, as many on this site point out, you can refuse the services of a HV.

Same.
read it. I’ve adopted two kids. The system they went through to adopt is difficult. Shows me
how desperate they were for a kid and that thwy knew exactly what and why they were wanting this child. Absolute monsters. And I also wish the death penalty on them. No doubt they will be protected and segregated when they go to jail.