DD has nobody left to move in with in her 2nd year of Uni.

[Thegoodlifenotexactly]

My DD is finishing her 1st year at a London Uni and I'm sad (I suspect she feels the same) that she's moving back in with me for her 2nd year (we are commutable distance - only just) purely because the 2 girls she is chummy with are essentially moving in with their boyfriends (under the guise of living with each other). Too late to find Halls accommodation (oversubscribed for 1st years as it is) and is a bit hesitant about randomly moving in with students she doesn't know - if they exist. Everyone she knows well enough is essentially sorted for next year. I know it's going to work out cheaper but she'll be like an A level student but much further away from College and probably a nominal social life. Anyone experience the same?

She could move into a shared student house even if she doesn’t know the others. I did that when I was in my fourth year of uni as everyone else I knew had left.

Find the positives… she’ll save a fortune. It is also likely things might work out as people drop out at the end of the first year so she might find a space with other students. I would relax and just go with the flow. I lived with unhygienic arseholes in year 2 so home would have been much nicer. Uni has changed with the costs and it’s not so much about the “student experience” and more about genuinely studying as the main focus.

Does her uni have an accommodation office which can help? When I was an academic I sent several of my students around and they were all found somewhere to live.

That’s bad luck - but in the whole of London she can surely contemplate living with more than just those two women? A bit hesitant isn’t the same as ‘completely impossible under any circumstances’. If I were you I would support and encourage her to use every possible avenue to find other students to share with. She needs to broaden her horizons!

Is there a reason why she is only thinking about this now? Surely she could have found other people to share with before they all got sorted with accommodation if she had been a bit more proactive about it? Was she just assuming that she would share with the two friends and then discovered that they had other plans, or what?

This! When my son started uni, they started looking at year 2 accommodation in October/early November and had the place secured by Xmas. He said that everyone was booking it that early, so anyone leaving it til now would struggle to find anywhere!

I did this. It went horribly, horribly wrong.

As did my BIL. They all knew each other and my BIL was the sole stranger, they all ganged up on him left him out of everything, ate his food but got mad at him if he used a drop of someone else’s milk…

Sounds familiar.

Though I also had to contend with weekend raves in the house, where they all took E as well. It was great <sarcasm>.

What about a room in private halls? They are open to students from different unis/year groups and have loads of returning students living in them.

It's a shame she didn't realise this several months ago, as she probably could have teamed up with other students she knows. I'm not sure how she didn't, since surely they would all have been talking about it and making plans before Christmas, including the two friends? It could turn out that someone leaves so she can find a place after all, or if not she should make sure she's set for third year early on, unless she can go back to halls for her final year.

It's worth her putting the word out that she's looking for a room. It's very normal to get a room in a shared house with people you don't know. Is she in any clubs/societies where she can ask if anyone knows of a room going? People drop out all the time so rooms will become available into the new academic year.

It’s also a lot of money.
I feel for your DD, it’s a shame.
However; it’s April. People fall out, couples split up. By not going into another tenancy; she is well placed to step in should a room become available with people she does know. She could also move out in year 3.
My DD rushed into a student house for yr 2. She was miserable and probably would have rather been at home. She’s only living with one of those people this year and is much happier. So just because people are ‘sorted’ for one year doesn’t mean they are sorted for the whole course.

Just going through this with my ds (not london) - laid back, had a group of friends who were equally laid back, then one by one they dropped out, and now it's two of them.

I've just been sending him links to private halls etc - more expensive, but it would probably suit him better anyway.

Would she not be happier doing something similar?

Is their no private halls available? My dd changed her mind about staying at home two weeks before uni started and managed to get a space in private halls that were a 2 minute walk from uni. It was more expensive but they were like luxury compared to the uni ones and she had a lovely room and en suite.

This! Yes you do hear horror stories, but most house sharers are fine. If she wants somewhere quiet, then add ‘quiet’ to her description on Spare room. Worse case scenario she gives two months notice and moves back with you.

I can’t believe her only options were ever these two girls or her mum!

Moving into a shared house is a great way of making friends. I’d encourage her to at least try that.

There will be a proportion of student who drop out at the end of first year and associated places in shared accommodation that people need to get out of the years contract - usually due to failed exams, but also changing situations, mental health, falling out with friends etc.

You look at adverts, meet up with them and see if you like them, then go for it if you want.

It was a while ago now but one of my friends rented a tiny studio place in London which wasn't loads more money than a flat share. Basically a bedroom with some minimal cooking facilities IIRC. Also people move in and out of halls during the year so she could get on some waiting lists.

That’s sad but it happens quite often. Are there any privately run halls she could move in to?

The other option is living with you initially then continuing to look for a house share during the year, rooms do come available if people decide to leave or move

The London rental market is very different to other places and a lot more last minute. If all else fails, get on SpareRoom with a student filter - there are loads of people who've plans have changed and need to fill a room.

This happened to me but a long time ago. I suddenly found myself without anywhere to go following a friend leaving uni and her friends who we were going to live with making arrangments without me! (My closer friends all lived at home). I ended up in a bedsit in a house which was only let to students, cost wise it was only a little bit more than what i was going to pay and it was nice not sharing a fridge and cooker with others.

I was bullied by the people I lived with in the first year (food being stolen, being denied access to cooking facilities and fridge amongst others) and I was too scared to move in with strangers again but there is a part of me which regrets not checking houseshare ads out. I was really quite lonely a lot of the time.

This happened to me and it was shit at the time. I found a spare room online and moved in with randoms in my third year. It was fine and actually quite fun and met new people!

I'm not going to ask her how she finds herself in this situation as it looks like I'm blaming her. I suspect she presumed they'd go looking for accommodation together and not waste the 'best' years of their life shacked up as a married couples engaging in washing-up parties. I do take note that in retrospect that these things should be sorted out weeks on starting but I can understand a reluctance in choosing a group of people to live with and arranging accommodation on the basis knowing them a couple of weeks. Plus she wouldn't have been clued up on the competition for acccommodation. I'll look at private halls - I'd at least like her to walk away with some sort of student experience.

DS is at a London uni and is just finishing a year abroad. He’s decided to live at home for his final year (we are less than an hour on the tube) and seems happy with his decision. He will obviously still see friends and I’m guessing will crash over at mates’ flats. How’s your DD more generally? Perhaps you should encourage her to widen her friendship circle with a view to living out next year?