DD has nobody left to move in with in her 2nd year of Uni.

[Thegoodlifenotexactly]

My DD is finishing her 1st year at a London Uni and I'm sad (I suspect she feels the same) that she's moving back in with me for her 2nd year (we are commutable distance - only just) purely because the 2 girls she is chummy with are essentially moving in with their boyfriends (under the guise of living with each other). Too late to find Halls accommodation (oversubscribed for 1st years as it is) and is a bit hesitant about randomly moving in with students she doesn't know - if they exist. Everyone she knows well enough is essentially sorted for next year. I know it's going to work out cheaper but she'll be like an A level student but much further away from College and probably a nominal social life. Anyone experience the same?

Similar happened to me at my London uni. I let everyone know my house had fallen through and asked if they had any options. In the end some girls from my course found a nice 5 bedroom house and there were only 4 of them so as they knew I was available it was win-win. Those girls became some of my closest uni friends.

London looks for student accommodation a lot later than other unis as essentially you’re in the open market so it really isn’t too late.

Is there any need to be so judgemental about her friends who will be moving in with boyfriends? Her friends were not under any obligation to provide your dd with a "student experience", and she should really have started to think about this much earlier.

I moved into a shared student house with people I didn't know well during my second year and again in my pgce year twice for different placements. When you first move into halls you don't know anyone so it's no different.

Private halls might be a solid option but there’s no reason she can’t have a social life.
if she’s staying with you she can keep money aside for taxis or stopping overnight sometimes.

Look, all first year students start off sharing with people they don't know. Sometimes it's a disaster, sometimes it's merely okay and tolerable but they go their own way in the second year and sometimes it's an absolute blast and they become a gang of friends for life and rent together for Years 2 and 3.

She needs to take a chance on a shared house with strangers, the same as she did in the first year. There are bound to be other students in the same boat. It's got to be more fun than moving back with your mum. Although if you live a manageable commute away and she only has a couple of days a week contact time, it could save her a ton of money to be back home.

Does she still have any friends living in your home town or have they all left? If she's in central London she doesn't need to one area, or stick to students at her same uni, either. She could rent any room in a shared house with young professionals, where all the bills are included.

Many people on my medical degree course in London either moved back into, or had never left, their family homes.

I was beyond jealous, living in a squalid slum and shaking mouse droppings out of my tea towel every time I returned after being away.

Unless you are wealthy, renting in London makes for a very poor quality of life.

It was so horrible that in my third year I moved to Southampton to live with my boyfriend and commuted.

Your daughter is blessed to have this option and will probably do better academically without being at the mercy of the London rental market.

My DD decided not to do a placement year like all of her other pals and rented with two strangers. A girl doing her post grad and another lad from her year. It was the best year out of the 3 she had because whilst they became friendly they were not in each other business and it was very relaxed. Could she try something like this?

Don't worry - if she keeps an ear out, rooms will come up (students will drop out, fall out etc etc). She can then choose to move into one of she wants, or stay with you if not. It honestly will be fine.

She likes to frequently go out in a group and feels safer to go home as a group. ie. the y1 experience. You're not going to necessarily get that instantly a house with random students - if ever. I think a private halls is the only realistic option to satisfy her ideal. Y3 can be at home where studying is prioritised and savings made. Thanks all! Feels a lot more hopeful.

The SU often has a resident matching option
Often halls have some spots for second years helping on residents’ committee option

tbh at uni a lot of my london peers lived back at home for second year as the degree was structured to mean grades mattered more in that year. We all regrouped for third year

I lived with a bunch of random a in my second year, had a great time. I'd be encouraging her to do that rather than coming home

The London rental market is different, as there isn't a specific student rental market in the same way. That means landlords who are advertising property are generally looking for someone who can move in in the near future. The OP's daughter hasn't left it late.

Yeah my DDs sorted out next years accommodation in the November before! I’m glad they figured out to do that I wouldn’t have had a clue . We had issues with youngest as she panic arranged with 2 girls in her year 1 accommodation and then by the end of the year wasn’t pally with them and best friends with another girl from their house but it went fine and now it’s all a distant memory.
i feel for your dd as she may feel a bit left out/left behind but the positives are she will save a fortune in a lovely relaxed home environment.

My son missed the boat on getting into a house share with people he knew in year 2. Had a hare brained scheme of trying to get a flat with his GF which of course they found they couldn't afford. He went into private halls and that worked well. He stayed there for year 3 too.

You sound really defeatist about sharing, I’m not sure why. And still not sure why the reluctance to use Spare room As others have said the London student rental market is a lot later than at other unis so she has plenty of time to find other people, either at her uni or through word of mouth or through Spare room.

Im not advertising SR btw - but both mine found their house shares through that app and have some great friends as a result.

Is your daughter particularly anxious? Why are you sorting everything out for her?

I moved in with strangers in my second year after my house share fell apart (I was promised a reduction in rent for taking the box room but this was never materialised). One girl was quiet and kept to herself, the other lad was friendly and he and his girlfriend would occasionally share wine and dinner with me. It was nice.

why be nasty about the 2 girls she was hoping to live with? This is on your daughter for not having conversations with them. Or on all of them for not sharing info.

Apparently, couples got together fairly recently. Wouldn't have been on anyone's radar. I doubt DD would have expected anyone to live with a boyfriend (unofficially - the girls do not want their parents to know) after knowing them only a few weeks.

Ah ok, thank you! I just admit I was surprised at how early they were having to plan, so quite relieved to hear it’s not as crazy everywhere.

Is there generic student accommodation she could move into? In Edinburgh and Glasgow there’s loads. Some are studio flats (expensive!) and some are like halls with shared living space.

To be fair to the other two girls I think it is probably for the best that they are not all going to be sharing next year. Firstly the others are paired off, I expect the BF would be spending a lot of time at the flat which I suspect your dd would find very uncomfortable and which could be awkward if she feels a bit left out of the loop in her own flat.

second of all, I think, and I am trying to be kind, it sounds as though your dd is a tad anxious and possibly has become a bit over dependent and reliant on these two girls for her social life, which to be honest they might be finding a bit much. She has got through her first year and I think you need to be encouraging her to be a bit bolder in her friendship groups. Has she joined any clubs or societies in her first year, and is she looking around now to find any to join in her second year? It’s not too late to approach club organisers, ask what sort of things they got up to this year and what they are planning for next.

What else is she doing to be proactive about finding accommodation, although clearly as others have said it is getting late in the year. Is she putting up flyers around the University or SU to ask for spare rooms? Has she approached Student Accommodation and asked to be put on their lists if anyone approaches them. Has she put together a little accommodation cv to help those looking for a room mate?

My dad commutes to a London uni. It’s been absolutely fine tbh!

Well, it doesn't sound too wise if they're moving in with boyfriends that they've only just met, but that's their problem and there is still no need to be bitchy about it.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by moving in with boyfriends unofficially? I presume that names will be on the tenancy agreements and that parents will need to sign as guarantors, so it's unlikely that the other tenants could be kept a secret. I'm wondering if the girls are actually just moving in together and using the boyfriends as a bit of an excuse?

Regardless, it seems a bit odd that your dd just made assumptions that they would all be living together without ever actually breaching the subject. Is she usually quite passive about things?

This is how my son has ended up living in a shared house with people he doesn't get on with. They had to commit by Oct of their 1st year, so had only known each other a few weeks. His second year has been miserable as a result.

I moved into a house with 6 people I didn’t know when I moved to a different country for a Masters, and it was brilliant. I had a great time and made some lifelong friends.