Urgh. Single, independent woman and find myself needing to ask for help

[FeelingSadToday1]

I have a washing machine with dryer stacked on top. The washing machine is plugged in behind the machine. It has just stopped working and I suspect I have done something to the plug whilst pushing the filter into the dryer (knocked it backwards slightly). There is no way I can fix this by myself as both machines need pulling out (it's next to a cupboard and I cannot get my hand behind it).

I have people I can ask to do this, it isn't a problem, it is the annoyance of having to ask!

Anybody else feel like this or do I need to accept I am not able to do everything by myself?

Maybe you just need to a bit realistic?

No one can do every job themselves, there's nothing wrong with needing help.

Anybody else feel like this or do I need to accept I am not able to do everything by myself?

Most adults have accepted this?

Does it help to be reminded that a reasonable number of appliance deliveries are classed as two person deliveries?

I’m not sure I understand what you’re so annoyed about?

Get a little bit of a grip?
Everyone needs help.
You’ll only end up making a martyr of yourself.
”No no, I don’t need help, I can lift this massive fucking machine by myself… I broke my back but at least I broke it by myself” 😂 everybody needs help, even single, independent women.

I am not one to ask for help. I am usually able to do anything that is required and I dont like to ask. Plus I have a load of clothes plus two sets of bedding to wash and now I cannot do it until at least Friday.

I obviously will ask for help, I am very aware I am not super woman and won't even try. It is frustrating as it likely just needs the with switch flicking back on and on

OK, but that’s on you. It doesn’t make you a lesser person to need help, as you seem to think! Do you look down on a short person asking someone to get something down for them from a high shelf in a supermarket?

I get you, OP. I'm single and have lived alone for 20 odd years. I can do most things but yep, it's very annoying when there's something you just need an extra pair of hands for so you have to call someone and wait rather than just being able to get on with it.
On the flip side, the things you can accomplish by yourself would amaze the people who've never even had to try being independent!

Thank you @NoYouCantComeToTheWeddingfinally somebody who understands.

Yes I’m a widow and my son live 80 miles away and my DD is at uni. There are a few silly things I can’t do due to lack of strength or flexibility. It is very annoying to have to ask for help and on occasion have to pay for someone to come and do something so simple. In fact we were just visiting family abroad - three adult women and an autistic teen. My son was put to use! First chores was pulling out the huge washing machine to get all the clothes etc that had fallen behind…

I hate having to ask for help with stuff like that, and I'm married with three strapping grown up sons! I much prefer to do stuff myself.

It's OK to ask for help, OP.

Just get an air tasker or task rabbit person to do it. Or your local council might do a handyman service that helps with this type thing.

Do you look down on a short person…?

I mean, most people do, tbf 🤣

I get you, op. I’m similarly independent and prefer to rely on nobody other than myself, but then when there are things I simply can’t do on my own, it’s very frustrating.

I hear you. No one can do everything, doesn’t mean you can’t feel fed up about it though.

It especially annoys me when things that could be designed for use by one person are set up to need four pairs of hands, or to need a bloke/ unusually big and strong woman to handle.

I regard myself as a strong independent person but I employ a cleaner, a gardner and a handyperson to do odd jobs that I cant manage. It does not affect my sense of self esteem.

Strong, independent women very often find a workaround, as I've explained many times to DP.

As a single mother for years, and also someone who's a bit impatient when it comes to doing things, I've managed a lot of these workarounds in my time.

Maybe get something like this for the future https://www.amazon.co.uk/BREEZENEST-2PCS-Universal-Appliance-Rollers/dp/B0FNCMFPYP/ref=asc_df_B0FNCMFPYP?mcid=96c97533deb8329682632adb1508b567&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696386426098&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6204638443877509700&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045845&hvtargid=pla-2459675167577&hvocijid=6204638443877509700-B0FNCMFPYP-&hvexpln=0&gad_source=1&th=1]]

(Apols for lengthy linky)

Piece of plywood a little bigger than the base machine.

Carefully use something thin and strong (a proper tyre lever is ideal - every woman should keep one ....) to ease the front up and start to tuck the plywood underneath.

This will provide a much lower friction surface for you to start to carefully ease the units towards you on their two front feet. You will need to reach to the top of the stack to left the back feet off the floor.

Again, carefully "walk" the stack forwards onto the plywood. Eventually you should end up with the stack on the plywood and you can access the rear.

Would be my go to suggestion, absent any help.

Humans are designed to live in community and cooperation. For thousands of years we've depended on one another for food, shelter, childcare, the list goes on. It's ok to give and receive help! The hyper fixation on independence serves only the patriarchy and capitalism.

I totally get your frustration @FeelingSadToday1 but I suspect there is some deliberate mis-comprehension in earlier replies just to snark. It's the frustration of not being able to happily continue with a self sufficient life and just get on with the damn job, but now needing to stop and plan and think about getting other people involved and then taking their time as well etc etc etc.

I know what to do and how to do it, and likely how to fix it. I just don't have enough arms or eyeballs or whatever it is to get it done. So I therefore rationalise it to myself for asking for friends and family's body parts - "can I please use your arms on Saturday to shift the massive cabinet".
(It also simplifies the ask - they know I am not asking for them to come up with a whole solution or long winded process, just shove a heavy bit of furniture with me)

I’m exactly the same OP. I’ve lived on my own for eight years now and can turn my hand to most minor DIY projects and basic car maintenance. It really irks me to have to ask for help with anything. Plus I’m incredibly impatient and if I want to do something, it has to be immediately. Can’t be arsed waiting for help.

DS is forever telling me off for moving furniture and things on my own and always offers to help. I feel like a toddler stamping my feet and saying but I want to do it NOW!

I live alone and am 68. I can do a lot of things myself but I've no hesitation in asking for help and family are very willing to oblige. That is when they have a minute, so it could be tomorrow, next week, next month. That is the frustration for me but I have to be patient! I will pay someone to do the things that need doing by a tradesman/carpenter/plumber/spark etc. It's getting them to come round, and getting a reliable one is another problem sometimes 😊

True as that may be, it never does any harm to apply brains where brawn is short.