Can strong chemistry with an older woman turn into something serious?

[JumpyLatino]

Evening all. I’ve got a date lined up this week and I’m genuinely buzzing, but also a bit in my head about it.

She’s a few years older, incredibly sharp, and—to be blunt—stunning. The chemistry in our messages is heavy; it’s that rare mix of "I can’t wait to talk to her" and "I can’t wait to get her alone."

My dilemma: I’m definitely a "heart on my sleeve" kind of guy. I’m worried that while I’m already imagining actual dates and getting to know her properly, she might just be looking for a bit of fun with a younger man. I don't want to be just a "distraction," but I’m also finding it hard to stay "cool" when I’m this into her.

Is it possible to have that intense, "boytoy" level of chemistry but turn it into something real? Or should I just stop overanalyzing, dress well, and enjoy the ride?

Erm yes, stop overanalysing. You sound far too invested already. Just see if you get on in real life and take it from there.

Definitely enjoy the ride.

What age are you

How much older is she? I'm 48 and in a relationship with someone 15 years younger. Not at all what I planned but he pursued me relentlessly until I finally cracked and we're currently very much in love. No idea what the future holds long term. Tommy Fleetwood's wife is 23 years older than him, he's a pro golfer and could probably have his pick of women but he loves her. Stranger things have happened as long as everyone is of age!

For heaven’s sake, OP, you’ve never even met this woman. Calm down. It’s perfectly possible she’ll have a laugh like a braying donkey or vote Reform or do something to turn you off completely. At least wait until the date!

I'm 20—old enough to have some experience, but clearly still learning as I go! Does my age make a difference in how you'd view the situation?

You're right, I’m being a bit 'wet' aren't I? I think it’s just the pre-date nerves because the chemistry so far has been so good

@JumpyLatino How old is she? 20 is really very young so if she's 23 then fine if she's 35 then I'd cool your jets!

She's 32. I hear you on the 'cooling the jets,' but it’s hard when the conversation is this good

@JumpyLatino A lot of people will raise an eyebrow at that gap these days as its now known that the brain isn't done developing until 25 so it is regarded a significant power imbalance. Just take care!

Well, good! I’m not raining on your parade here, but just hold your horses a bit till you meet her. Conversations are sometimes no guide to what someone is like in person, and you’ll enjoy the date more if you’re not so over-invested.

Just don’t refer to her as an older woman on the date 😄.

20 / 32 - I mean, you will have different life experiences and be at different life stages. Who knows though, life is complex.

That’s actually a really good point about the 'over-investment.' I think I’ll take a leaf out of your book and dial back the internal hype

I’m pretty sure AI could read about the hyphen thing and stop doing it, so I’m not sure it’s an accurate marker.

I also love a good em dash.

She’s too old for you I think apart from fun. At least that’s what I’d be after when I was that age with a 20 year old.

Yeah lol you're right! Don't want to be left at the restaurant after a small mistake thanks for the heads up LOL

That may be true but honestly want to give it a go since maybe it can work out. The world works in mysterious ways right? Maybe this can actually go somewhere..

Yes this is AI. The affirmation with posters is a dead give away.

Plus 20yr old lads dont talk like this or come on Mumsnet for dating advice..!

This is getting annoying and truly thank some of you for helping but others are being quite rude like wth lol

Just buckle up and enjoy the ride.....

Personally I think shes going to make minced meat out of you 🤣 but in a good way.

Nothing wrong with voting Reform.

Yes so I'm 36 and would never date a 20 year old. If this woman's my age or older she is probably looking just for fun/ to sleep with you

Don't worry been training for her....soooooo Stamina is top notch