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Original poster

Do you choose your late teen boys clothes?

72 replies

1newname · 11/04/2026 15:33

This is silly I know but I have self esteem issues!

Both of my DSs have no interest in clothes, to the point they wear the same things all the time. I would like to get them new stuff but I can't choose for them anymore (I don't know what's cool for an 18 year old...) but I feel guilty. Ds2 makes the odd comment and has come home a couple of times wearing his friends stuff but he will not go clothes shopping or even look online. Part of me feels terrible because they aren't 'trendy' like their friends, but also if they were that bothered they should do something about it.

Do you choose your 17-20 year old boys clothes? I was very independent so it's alien to me

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 11/04/2026 15:34

No.

absolutely not

Silverbirchleaf · 11/04/2026 15:34

I tend to buy clothes for birthday and Christmas presents.

herbalteabag · 11/04/2026 15:40

I wouldn't dream of doing that. But you could make them pick out something when it needs replacing or when it's their birthday. Have a look at what other teens are wearing in the street? My son is 18, his favourite jeans are kind of baggy.

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18 years old Clothing
GetOffTheCounter · 11/04/2026 15:40

No. Mine are 16 and 14 and i don't choose any longer for either of them.

My 16 year old has autism and as a part of his sensory issues he has specific requirements and often does not dress appropriately for the weather. I will encourage him re wearing warmer clothes but that's it.

FWIW my mother used to choose my clothes and was very dictatorial about what i wore to the point of having screaming meltdowns if I defied her. She does have mental health issues though which i was always trying to appease and mitigate in advance. My end of year High school dance she made me wear a maroon dress of her own that had pink ruffles and shoulder pads. This was in a period of time where everyone was wearing bubble skirts and tight vests. It was so embarrassing and I was just such an outcast.

I mostly let my kids get on with it- as they know what will make them stand out- in a bad way- from their fellow teens.

Pandorea · 11/04/2026 15:40

I buy socks, pants and maybe t shirts for their stockings at Christmas. Otherwise they all have fairly strong views about what they want to wear and definitely wouldn’t trust me. If yours aren’t interested at all then go can see why you might be tempted.

Littletreefrog · 11/04/2026 15:43

No. My 19 year old has been choosing and buying his own clothes since he got a job at 16. Before that he chose them and I bought them for birthdays and Christmas as they were more expensive than I could budget for normally.

DS2 is autistic and doesn't care about clothes so I normally buy things for him to try on at home but he chooses what we keep and what we send back.

TeenageRooster · 11/04/2026 15:43

No. Mine has a clear sense of what he likes that's very different to mine. I stay right out of it now!

You've said they're not interested, which is fine, but also that one has 'made comments' - saying what?

Statsquestion1 · 11/04/2026 15:45

Mine is 10 and I don’t choose his clothes!

Iraniantrump · 11/04/2026 15:46

I mean I lived by myself at 16 but I think more people should chose their young teenager/tween sons clothes. Too many 10 year olds dressed like drug dealers. Fuck their autonomy or whatever you call it

YouBelongWithMe · 11/04/2026 15:47

No. My DS has very limited interest beyond functionality and comfort. He has a very boring wardrobe of a cargo style trouser in three or four colours, Uniqlo cotton t-shirts in block colours, and one particular brand of hoodie in block colours, perhaps four of these. He just orders what he needs in bulk and that does him they need replaced!

TheWelshposter · 11/04/2026 15:47

I have to as my 16yo DS has zero interest in clothes and would never go clothes shopping. It wouldn't even enter his head to ask for new clothes or try ones on in a shop.
I do bring home options for him to try in though and stick to fairly safe, neutral clothes.

Original poster
1newname · 11/04/2026 15:47

Thank you all! Comments like so and so has got about 10 jackets, or mentioning that such and such clothes are cool... But if I say tell me what you like and I'll get it, not interested

OP posts:
Original poster
1newname · 11/04/2026 15:48

YouBelongWithMe · 11/04/2026 15:47

No. My DS has very limited interest beyond functionality and comfort. He has a very boring wardrobe of a cargo style trouser in three or four colours, Uniqlo cotton t-shirts in block colours, and one particular brand of hoodie in block colours, perhaps four of these. He just orders what he needs in bulk and that does him they need replaced!

Sounds like my ds2!

OP posts:
Original poster
1newname · 11/04/2026 15:56

GetOffTheCounter · 11/04/2026 15:40

No. Mine are 16 and 14 and i don't choose any longer for either of them.

My 16 year old has autism and as a part of his sensory issues he has specific requirements and often does not dress appropriately for the weather. I will encourage him re wearing warmer clothes but that's it.

FWIW my mother used to choose my clothes and was very dictatorial about what i wore to the point of having screaming meltdowns if I defied her. She does have mental health issues though which i was always trying to appease and mitigate in advance. My end of year High school dance she made me wear a maroon dress of her own that had pink ruffles and shoulder pads. This was in a period of time where everyone was wearing bubble skirts and tight vests. It was so embarrassing and I was just such an outcast.

I mostly let my kids get on with it- as they know what will make them stand out- in a bad way- from their fellow teens.

Sorry to hear that 😞

OP posts:
EatenTooMuchChocolateAgain · 11/04/2026 16:04

Yes I do for ds17 but he has multiple additional needs and is probably more like a 14yr old in some ways. I’m trying to gradually make sure he gains more awareness and starts to make choices himself but it’s a slow process:)

greencrab · 11/04/2026 16:25

I buy boring items, like replacement socks or last week we were going away on holiday and ds18 needed new trunks so asked me to pick some up when I went to buy his younger brothers some.

I do tend to gift him logo-ed t shirts (and an cheat he can return swap if he doesn't like).

He has his own style, baggy trousers and loud jackets that he had developed over time that isn't really my cup of tea but suits him and makes him happy

Clearinguptheclutter · 11/04/2026 16:28

Mine are a bit younger than yours and have zero interest in fashion

about once a year around the time of their birthday I take them out individually and try and agree on stuff they like. It’s their choice not mine though. I haven’t been able to influence what they wear since they were about 4!

TartanMammy · 11/04/2026 16:49

No, my boys are a bit younger but have been choosing their own clothes for a while. I wouldn't get it right, they are very picky about they wear.
I will buy underwear, socks and perhaps the odd t-shirt or hoodie as a gift.

mindutopia · 11/04/2026 16:50

I don’t choose my 13 year old’s clothes. My choices would be flatly rejected anyway.

shellyleppard · 11/04/2026 16:51

Nope my sons are 17 and 20 . They pick the stuff I just pay (within reason!! 🤣) . They both love looking in charity shops or online

WonderingWanda · 11/04/2026 16:53

No, my 16 yo ds choses his own. He will send me links for Christmas and birthdays and also buys and sells on vinted. Occasionally he will come shopping with us and chosen things. I would have an idea of what he likes though.

BillieWiper · 11/04/2026 17:31

Iraniantrump · 11/04/2026 15:46

I mean I lived by myself at 16 but I think more people should chose their young teenager/tween sons clothes. Too many 10 year olds dressed like drug dealers. Fuck their autonomy or whatever you call it

So their parents should choose their clothes for them when they're 12-13 but they could be responsible enough to live alone three years later?

ForestHare · 11/04/2026 17:38

Ds 21 is starting to become mildly interested in clothes now and for the last year will will choose what he wants when I make him come shopping with me (once/twice a year so hardly a big nuisance!), however he is still more bothered by comfort than style so far. Ds15 still has no real interest but I make him come too under the pretence of sizing then I ask him to choose something and we go from there. Again comfort over style still.
DDs are a different story altogether!

PilesofGuilt · 11/04/2026 18:36

DS(16) has absolutely no interest in clothes. He will happily walk around with clothes with holes in. I've just had to insist he chooses some t-shirts, he said "you choose them for me". I've ordered ones I think he'll like and we'll send the others back. Refuses point blank to go into a shop. Like DD (14), although she will at least come and look online with me, and has more or less clear ideas of what she likes.

cocog · 11/04/2026 19:06

If they didn’t want to shop I would probably just get them stuff from jDSports or Luke depending on there style online and return it if they hate it and keep trying until they have enough clothes and shoes. Honestly they all seem to wear the same black north face coats or variations of Nike hoodies nowadays.