Calling someone toxic say more about the person using it than the person they're describing.

[Slightyamusedandsilly]

I have big feelings about this.

If you're using the word 'Toxic' to describe other people, you are probably the toxic one. The incorrect use of psychoanalytical terms just make your arguments meaningless or inaccurate and frankly make you sound stupid.

It's so over used and is just an excuse to denigrate someone.

Also:
Entitled
Woke
Narcissistic /narc
Delusional
Main character syndrome

(edited to say I've noticed the grammatical error in the title but can't change it!)

I’ve only ever described one person as toxic - poisonous was the other adjective I used,
Her DD’s therapist recently used the term ‘toxic narcissist’ to describe her, so I feel entirely justified.

@Slightyamusedandsilly
I agree with you on the whole.
While there will obviously be people who actually are diagnosed as say a narcissistic psychopath, they will be few and far between.
Those who use similar terms, or, “toxic” are doing so to describe their own feelings for this person, if you ask me, rather than what is objectively true.

So in essence I agree with you. What it tells me is that the person using such descriptions feels strongly about the negativity of the other person. They describe them in such a way because it demonstrates the hurt they feel has been caused by this person.

I think we do need to be aware that, as always, broadening terminology does in some way dilute it. It isn’t intentional but it is inevitable. In some ways it’s similar to using “meltdown” to describe a toddler’s tantrum when others use it to describe an episode which can produce month long set backs for instance.
That said we have to be understanding of how language works and what is the meaning behind the words chosen.
A person familiar with severe mental shutdown is unlikely to use the phrase “meltdown” to describe their toddler’s tantrum, because they have experienced much worse. But the mum who is dealing with a screaming and distressed toddler, and hasn’t further experience could use the word to express how difficult they found it and how upset her child was at the time.

The same goes for “narc”. Has the person, be it a mother, MIL, ex husband, acted in such a way to warrant the diagnosis of a “narcissist”?
Statistically speaking probably not. But they will almost certainly have done multiple things to really hurt the person describing them, many times over, and therefore they wish to use the strongest term they know to get this message across.

So there are no toxic people in the world?

Why have you addressed this to me?
Bit weird...

Nobody said that either!

We just said it was over-used.

Because you said “so and so is not narcissistic or toxic, they just disagree”.

So is that example just a disagreement ?

Firstly “toxic” is a rather vague definition. I understand it to mean someone who causes harm , generally psychologically, to those around them.
I ‘d say that it’s more likely that a proportion of the people who call people toxic are describing their relationship, ie the fact that together they don’t get on, even though they would consider it all one sided.

It’s difficult to believe that all the MILs, for instance, that get described as being narcs, or toxic by their daughter in laws are actually incapable of relationships and friendships. I feel it’s more likely to be a reflection of how one person views this person.

I think you are massively overgeneralising, OP, which is ironic, as it seems to also be your complaint about others.

I am talking generally, for example people coming out with a story about someone else, and someone or everyone jumping in to label one of the people in this story as a narcissist or toxic.

If you were the child who saw and heard your father talking to your mother like that in your example, I would say that is emotionally abusive, and a different thing from my interpretation of the OP that these words are over-used.
Nobody ever said there aren't any toxic or narcissistic people at all.

I am sorry if you did hear one of your parents speaking to the other like that.

Words can be overused and still describe real things.

You sound toxic!

Nope. The only one I agree with on your list is ‘woke’. People who use this term are often racist/sexist/ableist/homophobic/transphobic and using this term to criticise others for not being these things.

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much 🙄What did you do?

Firstly, get that stick out your arse.

I have an MSc in Advanced Psychology.

My ex was completely toxic. I had never been in an abusive relationship before. It took me years to get over what he did to me, and tbh I'm probably still dealing with it.

How dare you make abused women feel they are the problem.

This is a really nasty, ragebait post and you should be utterly ashamed.

So if I call the woman who bullied me and tried to undermine 10 years of my work to the point I was suicidal “toxic”, I’m the toxic one? Sure. Luckily I’ve stopped giving a shit about other people’s opinions of me unless I respect them.

For me it’s the hyperbolic language to make a point seem bigger or as you say giving a diagnosis without professional opinion. Same for people saying they have PTSD or OSD without diagnosis. Or people who say they have a migraine when it’s just a headache. Such a need to make everything seem worse than it is for sympathy or make a point stronger than it is.

That’s the issue with talking generally isn’t it? Plus you (and op, and others-it really isn’t personal) always go for the lowest common denominator (as it tends to go with generalisations) and most trivialised examples, forgetting that there are hundreds of people on this site that yes, have actually encountered toxic people.

To clarify that scenario, my mum was telling ME how fat and unattractive and disgusting I am , and then dragged dad in into the conversation with “Tell her, tell her how much you dislike fat women. You find them so unattractive, don’t you? You’d never date a fat woman, would you?”. But at the end of the day, it’s not about me.

Just keep in mind that when you’re (general you) throwing around glib and derisive generalisations that your (general you) will be read by people who have lived what you’re rolling your eyes/laughing at and it was that bad(or toxic).

Why are you not reporting them both???

It is a post on Chat.
It isn't up to you to say people shouldn't give their own opinions or speak generally.

Most people speak generally rather than specifically.

You are making a lot of assumptions about me to fit with your own triggers and narrative.

I am sorry you have been so triggered, but perhaps you need to take a step back if you are this upset and determined to bring the general to your own specific interpretation.

I agree we should not call people toxic we should call them cunts instead , because thats what they are.

Not triggered thanks. But funny you should use that word given the disdain for overused therapy speak in the OP.

Correctly describing a person as toxic or narcissistic or both, is sometimes better than going into a whole story, telling people things that you might not feel comfortable sharing.....

Sorry, don't agree.

I think it depends. If you're calling someone any of the listed terms to avoid taking responsibility for yourself then yes. You yourself are toxic. However I know I've used it a number of times when I've seen behaviour I clearly recognise as abusive/ toxic/narcissistic. I'm not sure why I wouldn't in that case because it's appropriate. It doesn't mean I'm diagnosing someone as toxic - that's not a diagnosis anyway it's a description of a pattern of behaviour. Similarly you can have narcissistic traits without being a diagnosed narcissist. So the language is still apt if its describing behaviour.

Hmm have you been called a toxic narcissist and you didn’t like it?!