Turning 50, feel terrible, any inspiring stories?

[Rollypollypuddingandpie]

I’ll be 50 later this year and feel terrible about it, that there’s nothing to look forward to and that I have made a mess of my life.

I would love to hear your stories of inspiration.
At the moment I just feel sad.

I met the love of my love when I was 50.

Oh I adore a romance! That made me smile. How did you meet?!

I joined a gym, started doing an hour twice a week, treadmill walking, rowing, basic weights, and swimming once a week.

I feel fantastic.

How have you made a mess of your life? It's a game of two halves so what can you change?

Weirdly we had chatted 25 years before in an internet chatroom in it's infancy. At that point it was just a group chat full of regulars.
He remembered me and looked me up on FB. At the time I was married and he was in a relationship. We just messaged a few times a year as friends for every couple of years or so. Then we both became single and the next time we caught up we both suggested meeting up.
Been together since the first time we met. Now lived together for 3 years!!

Difficult childhood that shaped a lot of bad choices in my twenties that I’ve never really recovered from. Just feel not stable as a person mentally (on medication for it). I do have a job I like so there is that but both my children are struggling to thrive, don’t think I parented them well although they do know they are loved at least. Just don’t feel like a good adult or person.

That’s great, I’d love to try but how did you know where to begin?

I am loving my 50s, changed jobs, took up running, finally lost baby weight, came through the dreaded peri and out the other side and only now do I feel I actually know and trust myself. It is so empowering (but makes me sad for the underconfident younger person I was sometimes). I wish I had felt this way all my life.

I joined a gym at 50 too, and started by having some sessions with a personal trainer. She designed a weights & cardio workout plan for me & now I go 3 times a week.

It’s honestly one of the best 50th birthday presents you can give yourself. Most gyms will offer a free initial session with one of the PTs.

The 50's are fab, the 60's are fab as well – I've taken up weighlifting and playing the piano (not simultaneously, obvs!) at 62.

If you believe you've got nothing to look forward to, you will try to prove yourself right.

If you believe you've got everything to look forward to, you will try to prove yourself right.

It's entirely your choice.

I lost 7st around this age, started exercising regularly, took an interest in fashion and make up, gave up caring about other peoples opinions (instantly makes you much happier!LOL). I struggled with PMDD most of my life so perimenopause was life changing for me.
Ive never been happier, fitter or more confident.
Its just a number at the end of the day....things like your circumstances and state of health will affect you but a random number shouldnt!

@Rollypollypuddingandpie we sound very similar only I'm turning 40 this year.

I want to give you a big fat hug tbh!

I know I can't help from the age perspective thing. But I do want to help with the way you talk about yourself.

I had to have a lot of therapy last year to deal with my shitness which stemmed from an emotionally neglectful childhood and toxic home life. I hate some of my past choices and I ruminate on them constantly. Feel shit about myself but it is getting better

I really recommend a little bit of therapy if you can afford it. Mine was £80 an hour. I could barely afford it but it really helped. None of this is your fault!

I recommend (only because I had to do this myself and it has deffo helped!)

1. Find someone to talk to about your childhood. You could even try Chat GPT or Gemini. Lots of people hate it but they are good for a stop gap therapy session. Nothing beats talking to a real human though 💐

2. Get YouTube on your TV and find a 5 minute daily yoga stretch to do every day

3. Also on YouTube start a 5 minute meditation video. Several times a week

4. Do a side hussle. If you already do Vinted, do some more. Free up some money for fun things only!

5. Write a bucket list for you and a bucket list for your kids. They must be doable, realistic and achievable and fun!

6. Start being creative. Either start a hobby, write, or even a little bit of gardening. Or sing & kitchen dance to 90s dance music! Family colouring in sessions are also good for everyone

It's really important that you look after you and that your kids witness you looking after yourself too 💐 you need to parent the younger you 💐

Oh this is lovely thank you! I can feel spark of excitement.

A PT and a therapist for birthday then 😂

What's terrible about turning 50? I'm 60, and I'd say my last decade has been my best one.
It's a bit of a cliche, but once you get to 50 you have no more f*cks to give, you stop bothering about what other people think of you and you just relax and enjoy life.
Everyone's circumstances are different, of course, but life really can and does improve as we mature!

My second DC went to uni as I turned 50 and for the first time in 20 years I was able to put myself first. Cooked what I wanted, went out/ away with the gals, really worked on my career and got two promotions, slept in, lost weight, had better sex with DH because we didn’t have to worry about the kids hearing …. Honestly really felt I got me back.

And I think I looked better in my 50s than in my harassed, kid centred 40s. And we had more money due to said promotions, mortgage paid off and kids not at home. Honestly, there are so many positives.

Good for you. And everyone who says the 50s are fab is right!

I changed my mental lens. All your life, you're conditioned to see beauty as a stereotype of youth. To accept beauty over 40 or 50, you have to widen your vision to see not just one depiction of beauty ie tight jawline, clear brow, slim figure etc etc, you have to actively look for women of your own age and see the beauty in them. Once you do, you start seeing that same beauty in yourself.

I weirdly found turning 50 much more depressing than becoming 60, if that's any consolation.

Split up from ex DP at 50 ,met a lovely intelligent man on a dating site age 52 (but had numerous fun and interesting dates in between),starting doing boot camps age 54 and I'm now fitter and look better than I did in my 40's and having the best sex ever !

Same and a lovely baby grandson x

I don’t think it’s terrible per se, just where I am in my life.

50 is cool. Not to be morbid, but a close friend died aged 51 so I see my 50s as a privilege he never had. See it as a time to do stuff just because you can.