Rage!!! 😡

[Sarnieshortofapicnic]

I’ve been suffering with perimenopause symptoms for the last few years. I’ll be forty in a few months. I’ve been on HRT since July and while it’s helped my physical symptoms, the emotional ones are getting worse.

This weekend I’ve sworn and shouted at my partner. I knocked over some furniture on the way to get out of the house as I felt like I could have quite easily smashed the place up. It’s like being in another body. I’ve apologised profusely and now feel deeply ashamed. This isn’t me. I feel out of control. Along with the anxiety and mood swings and two week long periods, I’m a mess!

I have an appointment in an hour with a menopause specialist. What can I say or ask for? I’m already on Utrogestan and Everol 50 patch.

Thanks

You have my full sympathies OP. Hormonal rage is an awful thing, and the shame afterwards is horrible.

i have PMDD and am in perimenopause too. If the change of HRT doesn’t help you, it’s worth considering an SSRI. Many people resist this treatment path (myself included for a long time), but honestly it has done more for me feeling emotionally balanced and less ragey than HRT has. HRT has helped, but the SSRI has made a bigger difference.

I now look back and can’t believe how my DH put up with me how I was before.

He loves me and just wants the old me back.

Thank you. The thought has always terrified me due to the side effects.

So he just accepts the screaming without responding?

Yes I have a PT and do weight training 3 times a week. I walk for an hour a day and do reformer Pilates. I don’t smoke or drink alcohol and I eat very well.

I take the estrogen gel and supposed to take utrogestan tablets but I stopped taking the tablets around 5 months ago because I actually felt worse, made me feel really depressed so I stopped them myself and just use the gel in the morning. I really need to make a gp appointment to speak to the dr about this but I haven't yet. I feel so much better, no mood swings or feeling shit about things.

I answered when you asked what his response was to me apologising.

In regards to the screaming I’ve said it was during an argument we were having and he had mentioned something from my past which then escalated the situation and made me feel enraged so I left before it got worse.

We talked about it when things were calm and both apologised for our parts in it. I’ve said I understand if he wants to end things but he doesn’t. He loves and supports me and what’s me to feel better again.

*wants

Everyone reacts differently and I also had this fear. The first one I tried didn’t suit me, but I now take a different one, which is amazing. A few side effects to begin with, but those pale in comparison to the horrible rages and moods I was dealing with.

You can also start on a very low dose. The doc prescribed me the minimum dosage and I initially cut that pill in half to begin with, and very gradually increased from there.

I know that if you’re still having periods you need progesterone to protect your womb.

Yeah I still have mine. 32 days from the end of my last one to this one, i keep track, its been the same for the last few months. I know I need to sort an appointment, its just finding the time really and partly...oh il wait till the next period is over. I shall call on friday. Pm me friday to remind me 😆 🤣 😂. I will forget by then 😆 🤣

Not wanting to be alarmist, but very important to go back to your doc and get a different form of progesterone.

Taking oestrogen without progesterone can cause breast cancer. This happened to an aunt of mine who took only oestrogen before this risk was known.

Jeezo.. I did not know this. Thank you. I seriously will need to call the drs for an appointment.

Thank you for telling me this.

Did he apologise for bringing up something deliberately that he knew would hurt and upset you? I feel your pain with the perimenopause rage @Sarnieshortofapicnic , but he may also be a twat. It’s all very well saying he wants the ‘old you’ back, but if what he means is the smiling compliant women who never stood up for herself, argued back and smiled through his bad behaviour then he can get to fuck.

I also echo PP to increase you patches. I had to go to 100 to really get meaningful change.

Have you had your levels checked? I wasn’t absorbing the oestrogen in the patches and changed to gel. And I have progesterone suppositories and testosterone gel too. Feel LOADS better.

He did apologise yes. We were really happy before these mood swings started so I’m hoping we can get back to that.

I had bloods a while back but the doctor said they weren’t a reliable source of diagnosing perimenopause as the hormone levels change so often.

I have to say…. This relationship may just not be right. Him bringing up your past (twat), you losing control in response…. To me it just shows a couple that might be circling the drain.

How long have you been together?

How old are you?

I hope you’re ringing the doctors for an appointment when they open today! 🤞🙂

we've been together for 6 years and I’m nearly forty.

😆. Yes I am. I decided when getting ready there im not going to put the gel on..I kinda got the fear when breast cancer was mentioned. ❤️

I notice some other posters are highlighting that it may be your relationship that is the issue.

Obviously I don’t know your full situation and can only speak from my own experience, but prior to being medicated I thought my DH was the most unreasonable person in the world during my luteal phase!

Once medicated, let’s just say I am very grateful that he such a patient and loyal man! He’s not perfect (who is?) but I can now see that I was by far the more unreasonable one when hit with an attack of peri/PMDD rage.

All of this to suggest that I would recommend tweaking meds before assessing your relationship status (as long as it not abusive etc).

And he’s bringing up your past?!

What a twat

It definitely wasn’t our finest moment.